American Consequences - November 2018

From P. J. O’Rourke and Henry Smith ADVICE FROMPJ

Inverted Pyramid Scheme Also known as a "Democratic Socialist Ponzi Game" and reputedly the brainchild of Alexandria Ocasio- Cortez. The way an Inverted Pyramid Scheme operates is that you send $10 bills to 10 different people. Each of those people, in turn, sends $10 bills to 10 other people, and so on. This pyramid scheme, like all pyramid schemes, is a rip-off. And you get nothing out of it at all. On the other hand, it only costs you $100, as opposed to the many thousands of dollars that standard pyramid schemes can cost you. I call that a bargain.

Hydro-Electric Cars No need to worry about charging stations

when you carry your own source of renewable, environmentally friendly, carbon-neutral electrical generation with you everywhere you go. A joint venture between the Tennessee Valley Authority and Elon Musk, the new 2020

Beachfront in Greenland Get out in front of the global warming fad and make it work for you! Beautiful Angisorsuaq Island ocean frontage on the calm – not to say frozen solid – Labrador Sea is available for next to nothing... and somewhat less where house lots are under a glacier. Just miles and miles and miles from Greenland's charming capital city of Nuuk, population: none. Premium Bagged Air Drinking bottled water has been all the rage for decades, but what about the air we breathe? It's a trend you won't want to miss. There's a ready-made market for premium bagged air from the freshest places on earth – the mountains, the seashore, forest glades, flowery meadows, brisk autumn breezes, and dewy spring dawns. The owners of France's most famous and iconic brand of naturally carbonated mineral water are rumored to be launching a whole new product line – PerriAir. I'm betting that locally sourced "craft breathers" won't be far behind, making for plenty of "blue sky" investment opportunities (think AWhiff of Brooklyn TM ).

Wetsla TM is scheduled to go on sale next fall.

CounterFeitcoin Some people say cryptocurrency isn't really "real." But this cryptocurrency really, really isn't real... which makes it perfect for buying illegal things on the darknet. Because if you buy something illegally and you really don't pay for it, then it isn't really a crime. Right? I'd tell you more about the initial CounterFeitcoin TM offering but then, of course, I'd have to kill you.

American Consequences 27

Made with FlippingBook Annual report