southern border. Never mind that with the current unemployment rate, I can’t find anybody to mow my lawn, not even for $18 an hour. So, privately, I’m thinking of the Hondurans and Guatemalans as “The March for Yard Care.” And what’s worst of all about these two political parties is that on Tuesday, November 6 both of them won. Now we’ve got a Saphead Senate and a House of Fools. And what’s worst of all about these two political parties is that on Tuesday, November 6 both of them won. “ One chamber of Congress will be carting tax cuts to hell while the other is letting expenditures ascend into heaven. The House will squat like a toad on deregulation while the Senate confirms lizards and snakes to head regulatory agencies. Progressives will subpoena everyone in America who wears a necktie. Conservatives will console each of them with a large defense contract. One side will hobble businesses. The other will hamstring consumers. Liberals will kiss the ass of our enemies. Reactionaries will piss off our allies. The left will imagine new grievances for minorities. The right will fantasize about old majority prejudices. Democrats will lead the bull into the china shop. Republicans will pack the dog with the cat. Refereeing this hard-fought, down-to-the- wire, tied 1-1 in extra innings contest between asshats is... President Trump.
Let us not get ourselves all a-twitter – so to speak – about what we think of President Trump. Whether you approve, or grudgingly approve, or disapprove, or abhor him with bells on... whatever you think of President Trump, he’s not exactly the person you’d pick as an umpire. If the 116th Congress were the World Series and Trump was the umpire, he’d send both teams to the showers so that he could be the pitcher and the batter and throw every strike and hit every home run... And he’d also want to be the only hot dog vendor in the stadium. This game is not going to end well. Which is why – history of post-midterm market upticks notwithstanding – I was surprised when the Dow went up 545 points. On the other hand... “Crazy” is not the same as “wrong.” Perhaps markets were trying – in their own crazy way – to tell politics something on November 7. This is what I’d like to think the markets were attempting to say in their delirious ravings: We’re the economy! We’re the grown-ups here! We pay the bills! We’re the parents and you political parties are the quarreling teenage kids. We’re sick of you two fighting all the time. You’re making a mess! You’re in the way! We’ve got jobs, we’ve got work to do, we’ve got businesses to run! If you’re going to fight, take your stupid fight somewhere else, someplace nobody cares about, a place that’s already wrecked – like Washington! And not only are we kicking you out, you’re grounded until 2020!
American Consequences 9
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