DUNCE OF THE MONTH
By AndrewAmundson
A RUDE AWAKENING
Systems machines, and generally making an ass of himself in courtrooms and hearings, ranging from Pennsylvania to Michigan. Let’s hit shuffle and play the hits: the melting hair dye. The Four Seasons Total Landscaping press conference sandwiched next to a sex shop on some anonymous Philadelphia street. Him passing gas at Michigan’s voter fraud hearing (granted, the event itself was a bit of political flatulence). And Rudy, you were caught with your pants down (literally) in the latest Borat film. He’s also contending with a lawsuit filed by former House Impeachment Manager Eric Swalwell aimed at Trump’s cadre of hype men for the January 6 Capitol siege. Hey Rudy, remember when you were Time’s “Man of the Year” decades ago? Or, as GOP consultant
RUDY GIULIANI Oh, Rudy, you make this too easy. If 2020 was the definitive dumpster fire year, then it appears you crawled right out of that hot garbage bin waiting for your close-up with that signature Pennywise grin. Most artists had to resort to live-streaming their performances this past pandemic year, but Rudy took his deranged vaudevillian one- man show on the road for the seminal “Stop the Steal” tour (the Altamont for the Beltway-set). Giuliani, as the former president’s attorney, was hand-picked to spearhead the Trump team’s efforts to overturn the 2020 election: seeking ballots in aforementioned dumpsters, hunting down all those dead voters via seances, fist-fighting Dominion Voting
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May 2021
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