Here’s a check list o f what it takes to be a good counselor. How do you rate?
Setting Up Your Counselint
person he is helping. He does this by listening carefully. Occasionally he will rephrase what has been said to indicate he is attempting to grasp the feelings involved. He does not say, “ I understand per fectly.” Instead he says, “ Yes, I believe I can see that.” Or he can say, “ Yes, I see why that would be a very trying ordeal.” To “ under stand” does not mean to figure out a quick solution to someone’s diffi culty. It means to stand under the difficulty and share it. Only some one who loves with the reflected love of Christ can understand. What happens in counseling is complicated. If a soul is not ruth lessly condemned by his helper he will “ stand aside” from his prob lem and look at it objectively and courageously. He also experiences a kinship with the helper’s ego and seems to derive ego strength from the soul who figuratively stands in the problem with him. The feeling that here are two persons working this out together provides added h e l p f o r t h e n e e d y s o u l and strengthens him in his search for the best answer and the best help from God. Very frequently those who are most anxious to help others in counseling are least qualified. The insecure seek to bolster neurotic pride by preaching sermons at peo ple at the drop of a hat. They ac tually have little concern for souls and wish to use others as occasions for demonstrating superior spirit uality and pharisaic prestige. In counseling it is not our job to show
1) First session: a study of rep resentative laymen in the Bible (such as Stephen) and their con tribution to the kingdom; a meeting of prayer and consecration. 2) Second session: a discussion of personality and its basic needs. 3) Third session: the same. 4) Techniques of counseling. At this point and for the next two sessions a trained Christian psy chiatrist, psychologist, counselor or Christian pastor should be called in who has had experience in the field. 5) Final session: Scriptures to use in various situations. These laymen should be repre sentative of the membership. There should be men and women, some senior folk and one or two persons between 18 and 23. In essence, what is the technique of good Christian counseling? As members of the priesthood of be lievers we must follow the example of our great high priest, the Lord Jesus. In Hebrews 2:18 we read: “ For because He Himself has suf fered and been tempted, He is able to help those who are tempted.” In Hebrews 4:15 we find: “ For we have not a high priest who is un able to sympathize with our weak nesses. . . .” He suffered, and in Greek the word “ sympathize” con tains the word “ suffer” and means “ to suffer with.” Jesus enters into our experiences and shares them with us. He shares the burden and provides all-sufficient strength. The Christian friend must also enter into the experience of the
V o u r church should have at least 10 “ministers” for every 100 members. W e’re not talking about ordained pastors. W e mean lay ministers. See why: If there are 200 members in your church, there are from 5 to 10 shut-ins. Five to 10 more are ill, one or two desperately. Twenty or 30 have mental, sexual, social or economic problems that are fairly acute. Thirty or more have prob lems which they would like to dis cuss. Let us say the pastor makes six calls a day for six days. Can he do the job by himself? Every spiritual leader, including our Lord Himself, has had to train laymen for the work of the min istry. In some churches there is a board, such as the board of dea cons, for this purpose. In most cases an enlarged committee must be set up and consecrated to their work. The minister himself must do the choosing and cannot call for volunteers. People cannot be cho sen who: 1) talk on and on in a compul sive fashion, 2) are spiritually im mature or indifferent to the claims of Christ for full consecration, 3) are pharisaic and evince a desire to excel in performance by con stantly pointing out the sins of others, 4) lose their tempers vio lently over the slightest provoca tion, 5) are sensitive and easily hurt by thoughtless remarks. The next step in the formation of this Pastoral Committee should be its training. Here is a suggested curriculum:
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