Dr. Clyde M. Narramore, graduate of Columbia Uni versity, New York City, is a psychologist and Consultant in Research and Guidance with one of the largest school systems in America.
be singled out by his dad (or moth er), taken for a drive, given a ham burger all by himself without other members of the family. This is qual ity companionship. It is proof to the child that you love him enough to spend time with him alone. 6) What about competition? Do you frequently compare one child with the other? No one likes this kind of treatment. Each youngster likes to feel that he is worthwhile just as he is — without being com pared to some other person. Check on this. You might be doing it with out realizing it. 7) How much time do you and your husband spend together each day praying for your children? I suspect that this is where you need to take action. The biggest job in all the world is that of raising chil dren. Absolutely nothing is more important. And surely you and your husband need to come before the throne each day, asking God to guide you in raising your family. Try a prayer schedule for the next month and notice the difference it makes. If you care to read more about this, turn to the last section of my new book, How to Understand and Influence Children. You will find about 20 practical ways of influenc ing your children for Christ. These suggestions are appropriate for boys and girls of all age levels.
just “ hinder their progress.” You say that your girl is large for her age. This is not unusual for girls entering puberty. Their bodies are undergoing important changes. But such girls slim down a little later on. Naturally your daughter is sensitive about her size and “ pret tiness.” She resents being teased by her brother. But these feelings are natural — a part of growing up. 3) What about spiritual matters? Do your son and daughter know Christ as their personal Saviour? Perhaps you are expecting them to act like Christians when in reality they may not be bom again. You should quietly and carefully talk with each one about his relationship to Christ. Make sure that each is saved. 4) If your children are saved, are they growing in Christ? Brothers and sisters who truly love the Lord get along with each other much bet ter than those who do not have a close walk with Him. Do they attend Sunday school and church regularly? Do you have fam ily devotions? Do each of your children have individual devotions? Does your family memorize Scripture regular ly together? Do you apply what you know about the Bible to your every day living? Does your husband ex ercise spiritual leadership in your home? Do you and your husband call the family together in the eve nings and read to them? Do you have good Christian books and mag azines for them to read? 5) Jealousy is often caused by one child sensing that his parents do not spend enough time alone with him. Do you or your husband fre quently take one child alone with you and give him an individual treat? You should! A child likes to
Brother and Sister Q. W e have a 13-year-old girl and a nine-year-old hoy. They are both Christians but fight constantly. I know they love each other be cause if one is in trouble or danger, the other is very concerned. But they often purposely say things to hurt each other’s feelings. The girl is big for her age and the boy is small so consequently they call each other “ fatty” and “ skinny” which is very embarrassing to them. W e have recently moved into a new neighborhood and I know peo ple see us go to church, but I often wonder what kind of people they think we are by the children’s ac tions. Though my husband and I have words or disagreements occa sionally, we never really fight. I refuse to take sides. But what can I tell my son and daughter when they say I’m babying one or the other when I’m really not? Would prayer take care ol this? If so, how can I get them to pray about it? A. There are several factors that you should consider. Some of them may be hidden. 1) Of course, a reasonable amount of jealousy, scrapping and teasing is natural. Why? Because nine-year- old boys “ just hate” girls. Nearly all boys of this age feel the same way. They are gang conscious. They are identifying with those of their own sex and rejecting those of the opposite sex. Naturally this will change a few years later. This is the way God has made children. So expect your son to tease his sister. 2 ) Thirteen-year-old girls who are beginning to reach young woman hood “ just can’t stand” little broth ers! Girls of this age are becoming “ boy friend” conscious. Their atten tion is turned to looking and acting pretty. Little, “ immature” brothers
NARRAMORE SPEAKS Dr. Narramore will present a series of five consecutive Sunday afternoon lectures beginning Sep tember 22 in the auditorium of the Church of the Open Door, Los Angeles. He will speak on marital, teen-age and sex prob lems, and the Christian and mental balance.
The King's Business/September 1957
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