L O V E P A S T OR V A N B ROWN
I remember growing up as a kid and to my recollection there were no moments of sitting at the dinner table together as a family . We had such a large family , 6 siblings , my mother and father , our dining table simply did not accommodate us . Dinner time was simply spent with all of us in different locations , my father in his room , my mom and sisters in theirs and the brothers in the living room watching tv . This happened every dinner whether it was on a weekend or a weekday . I never thought it to be strange . I know that we have a loving family and I know that we love spending time with each other but there ’ s a difference between knowing something and having evidence of it . Is it possible , simply because we have never experienced this kind of intimacy before we didn ’ t know what we were missing ? Not only that , my parents had a loveless marriage , my siblings and I saw a roommate situation masquerading as a marriage . Don ’ t get me wrong they were civil when they spoke and always made sure that the kids were taken care of physically and financially . I ’ m learning that it takes more than that to produce a successful leader and lover of life . When I was old enough to start dating I would go to other families homes and I noticed they actually sat to have dinner and had these weird discussions about their day . In my early dating life , I suffered tremendously , not only did I not have the confidence but I lacked the ingredients in order to demonstrate what was really inside of me . And life rewarded me according to the foundation I was given . This is not an attempt to cast blame towards my parents , they simply gave me everything they had . I know this to be true simply because on my journey to wholeness I did some research on the parental style of my grandparents and I realized they simply duplicated what they saw . I thank them for the rich work ethic , the ability to protect and provide and now I simply have to build upon the love and the sensitivity training . The goal is never to hold grudges against your parents or parental guidance that raise you , always come from a place of gratitude . Some of you may have the feeling of , there is nothing to be grateful for , but I will remind you , feelings aren ’ t facts . Find a way to give gratitude for those who took care and provided for you when you were unable to and make a promise to yourself to build upon what they gave . Find someone that you trust , do a self inventory , study the people that raise you , what are the challenges that you face from them raising you ? Remember you ’ re not trying to be excellent you only want the truth about the things you struggle with . Is it forgiveness ? Lack of patience ? The inability to commit ? Are you violent ? All of these things as bad as they may seem are simply coping mechanisms that you have adopted in order to protect yourself . But I have great news , with the right environment , love and encouragement , life has a way of always introducing you back to your true self . But it only can work if you are truthful , let humility be your best friend . There are some things that I have to change in order for me to be my best , be radical about it . And I promise you as you carefully replace the coping mechanisms with principles and truths about yourself the real you will emerge and people will pay you to be yourself . Use your early domestication to drive you to success , simply saying I don ’ t want another person to encounter mediocrity .
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