Becoming the Leader You Needed: Finding and Trusting your Voice By Susan Smalley, PCC, CPCC
What I Needed (and What We All Deserve More Of)
Ten years ago, I was building a business, raising two kids, and figuring out what it meant to lead and work in a way that felt true to me. I didn’t have all the answers (still don’t), but I knew I wanted to work and live with more clarity, confidence, and purpose. Today, after years of coaching leaders and helping women grow in their roles, I’ve seen a pattern: many of us spend a lot of time doing what we think we’re supposed to do. We follow the rules. We keep the peace. We do a good job. But somewhere along the way, we lose track of what we actually want. That’s where leadership really starts—when we stop trying to fit a mold and start getting clear about what matters to us. The Leadership Gap We Don’t Talk About Enough There’s no shortage of leadership advice out there. But for many women, the real challenge isn’t about learning more skills—it’s about using the ones we already have, out loud. Through my own leadership path—and in coaching hundreds of women—I’ve noticed it’s not usually more knowledge we need. It’s something deeper and more human.
Sometimes, we hold back. Not because we’re unsure, but because we’re moving fast, supporting others, and managing so much that we don’t always stop to ask ourselves: What do I think? What do I want? Other times, we stay quiet in moments that matter—not out of fear, but out of habit. A learned instinct to keep things smooth, to avoid conflict, to be thoughtful before we speak. But leadership asks something different of us. It asks us to get clear on our voice—and use it. Not perfectly. Not all the time. But more often, and with more trust in our own wisdom.
Here’s what made the biggest difference for me, and what I believe every woman leader deserves more of:
Space to pause and ask: What do I think? What do I want? before the noise of other people’s opinions rushes in Encouragement to take imperfect and brilliant action instead of waiting to feel “ready” Support that doesn’t shrink me or rescue me —but reminds me I can do hard things
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