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Plan today for peace of mind tomorrow. NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2025
THE ‘HAVE TO, GET TO, BLESSED TO’ METHOD Shift Your Perspective, Shift Your Life
Life has a way of piling on, doesn’t it? Some mornings, the to-do list starts before your feet hit the floor. Between work, family, errands, and the holidays creeping closer with their own mountain of responsibilities, it can feel like you’re running from one “have to” to the next. But here’s the thing: What if the chaos itself isn’t the problem? What if how we frame the chaos makes all the difference? A few years ago, I came across a practice that completely changed how I approach my daily responsibilities, especially during the holiday season. It starts with three little phrases:
homework. I get to go to work. I get to cook dinner.” Reading it out loud, the entire tone shifted. What once felt like burdens now felt like privileges. And then the final step: Change “get to” into “I’m blessed to.” I’m blessed to cook dinner for my family. I’m blessed to go to work. I’m blessed to pick up dry cleaning because it means we have clothes to wear. That tiny language shift transformed my list from a pile of chores into a reminder of gratitude. This practice has changed how I handle daily life, but it’s especially powerful during the holidays when things are overwhelming. There’s the planning, shopping, cooking, decorating, and endless events. It’s so easy to get stuck in “I have to” mode: I have to shop for gifts. I have to prep Thanksgiving dinner. I have to do the dishes. Before long, the season of joy feels like a season of exhaustion. But when I catch myself and reframe it, everything softens. I’m blessed to shop for gifts because it means I have people I love. I’m blessed to cook Thanksgiving dinner because it means my family will gather together. I’m blessed to clean up because it means we shared a meal worth remembering. One of my favorite holiday traditions perfectly captures this. Every year, my mom and I cook Thanksgiving dinner side by side. Later in the day, my sister-in-law and nieces join us. The kitchen fills with laughter, conversation, and maybe a glass of Prosecco while we stir the stuffing. Technically, there’s a long list of to-dos, but it doesn’t feel like work at that moment. It feels like joy.
Even the small, everyday things are transformed with this mindset. Not long ago, I caught myself sighing as I braided my daughter’s hair before bed. After a long day, it took a few extra minutes, and I rushed through it. But then I paused. This is what I once prayed for , I reminded myself. An 8-year-old daughter with long, beautiful hair who trusts me to braid it every night? That’s not a burden. That’s a blessing. The truth is that chaos isn’t going anywhere. Life will always be full of lists, tasks, and obligations. But the words we attach to those obligations change everything. “I have to” makes us feel heavy. “I get to” gives us perspective. “I’m blessed to” fills us with gratitude. So, try it out as the holidays approach and the pace picks up. Catch yourself in the “have to” mindset and flip it. Tell yourself, I get to. I’m blessed to. Watch “Once I tried it, everything changed.”
– I have to – I get to – I’m blessed to
At first, I’ll admit, it sounded too simple to be useful. But once I tried it, everything changed.
The exercise begins with writing down everything you “have to” do that day. The big, small, and tedious things. My list looked something like: I have to brush my teeth. I have to take a shower. I have to help my kids with their homework. I have to go to work. I have to cook dinner. I have to pick up dry cleaning.
how it changes your energy, mood, and maybe even how you experience the season.
Just looking at the list felt overwhelming.
–Andrea Shoup
Then came step two: Instead of saying “I have to,” I swapped in “I get to.” Suddenly, it was “I get to brush my teeth. I get to help my kids with their
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2 Wills, Handwritten Codicil Spark Legal War Gary Coleman’s Probate Drama
Gary Coleman’s death at age 42 in 2010 led to one of the most convoluted probate battles in celebrity estate history. Although he left only modest assets, the fight over his will and remains spiraled into a legal saga filled with dramatic courtroom testimony and personal revelations. Coleman had signed multiple wills: a 1999 document naming a former manager as his executor and a 2005 will naming his longtime assistant and friend, Anna Gray, as executor and sole beneficiary. Even though he divorced Shannon Price in 2008, Coleman had allegedly added a handwritten codicil in 2007, leaving everything to her. Price asserted they continued living together as husband and wife, despite the divorce, claiming a common‑law marriage under Utah law. This twist turned a probate hearing into a character trial. Price’s legal team presented witnesses (bank officers, Coleman’s agent, and relatives) who testified that the couple filed joint taxes, shared bank accounts, and called each other husband and wife. But Anna Gray’s side countered with a strong testimony. The judge questioned whether Price had established a public reputation as a wife, a key requirement for common‑law recognition in Utah.
In May 2012, after three days of explosive testimony, Judge James Taylor ruled that Price failed to show a recognized common‑law marriage with Coleman at the time of his death. This meant that the 2005 will naming Anna Gray as executor and beneficiary stood as the controlling document. So, what did Coleman actually leave behind? His estate amounted to little more than his home ($315,000), royalty payments, and possessions. The real value lay in deciding who controlled Coleman’s name, ashes, and remaining intellectual property. Adding to court records, Shannon Price was the person who authorized turning off Coleman’s life support when he fell and suffered a brain hemorrhage in 2010. Whether that gave her moral or legal standing remained hotly debated, but in probate court, she lost. And in the end, the probate judge settled the matter: Anna Gray inherited what remained of Coleman’s estate, his ashes, and control over the disposition of his name and legacy.
From Hospitality to Legal Expertise: Say Hello to Gaby
We are thrilled to welcome Gaby to the Shoup Legal family! Gaby joins our team as a Legal Office Assistant, bringing precision and dedication to every task she takes on. Her role focuses on making the administrative side of estate planning seamless for our clients. This means ensuring documents are printed, organized, and fully executed with no detail overlooked. From preparing final signings to confirming every signature is in place, Gaby’s meticulous attention to detail keeps our process running smoothly and our clients confident. Before joining Shoup Legal, Gaby honed her skills as a paralegal in Redlands, specializing in probate and controversial estate planning. Interestingly, her journey into law wasn’t a straight path. She began her career in hospitality, including a role in hotel management and as a server at The Cheesecake Factory. What drew her to the legal field was the structure and order she found in the work. Gaby thrives in environments where organization, procedure, and detail matter, and she’s naturally inclined to create systems that keep everything running efficiently. After completing a paralegal course, she discovered that estate planning, in particular, resonated with her. She loves helping people achieve peace of mind, knowing their wishes will be honored, and providing support families didn’t even realize they needed.
Although she’s still new to Shoup Legal, Gaby has quickly embraced our collaborative culture. She appreciates the supportive
environment, where colleagues are always ready to assist and ensure processes are streamlined and precise. She enjoys the sense of ownership and responsibility the team shares and values the open communication that allows everyone to thrive.
Outside work, Gaby is adventurous and creative. She loves offshore fishing, hiking, camping, and spending time with her two dogs, a French bulldog and a cockapoo. She’s married and enjoys indulging her culinary talents, particularly making what she claims is the best crème brûlée you’ll ever have. She’s an avid painter and loves exploring new hobbies with the same enthusiasm she brings to work.
We are excited to have Gaby as part of our team and family! Welcome aboard!
Plan today for peace
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Slow Cooker Brisket
Ingredients •
Directions 1. Directions 2.
1 (1-oz) envelope onion soup mix 1 tbsp brown sugar 1 1/2 tsp kosher salt 1/2 tsp ground black pepper 1 3-lb piece of beef brisket (flat cut) 8 fresh thyme sprigs 8 whole garlic cloves
In a small bowl, combine soup mix, sugar, salt, and pepper. Sprinkle over brisket. Place meat, fat cap side down, into an 8-qt slow cooker. 4. Top brisket with thyme, garlic, bay leaves, carrots, potatoes, celery, and onion. 5. Whisk stock, Worcestershire 3. sauce, and cornstarch until fully dissolved. Add to slow cooker. 6. Cover and cook on high for 5–6 hours until tender. 7. Remove to a cutting board, fat side up. Remove thyme and bay leaves. 8. Thinly slice brisket against the grain. 9. Serve with vegetables, drizzled with gravy from the slow cooker.
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TURNING ESTATE PLANNING INTO A GIFT OF CARE HOLIDAY CHEER THAT LASTS The holiday season has a magical way of reminding us what truly matters: connection, love, and gratitude. It’s a time when we express appreciation to family, friends, and even those who have touched our lives in unexpected ways. While holiday gifts are often small tokens of affection, they can also reflect our values and foresight, especially when we think about estate planning. Estate Planning as the Ultimate Gift Estate planning might not seem festive, but it’s about gratitude in its purest form. It’s the ultimate gift of care: ensuring the people and causes you cherish most are protected and remembered long after you’re gone. Just like carefully choosing a gift for someone special, estate planning requires consideration, empathy, and intention. It’s a way of saying, “I see you. You matter. I want to make sure you are cared for.” Gifting That Lasts Beyond the Holidays During the holidays, many of us are inspired to give. Whether it’s a family heirloom, a charitable donation, or simply financial support, gifting can be a tangible expression of gratitude. Estate planning allows that spirit to extend beyond the holiday season. It’s gifting with longevity! For example, designating a loved one as a beneficiary or creating a charitable trust is like wrapping up your values and intentions and presenting them as a lasting legacy. The thoughtfulness behind these decisions carries the same warmth as a gift under the tree. Gratitude in Every Decision Incorporating gratitude into estate planning can deepen its impact. Instead of viewing it solely as a legal or financial task, consider it an opportunity to reflect on who and what has shaped your life. Naming specific gifts or causes allows you to honor those influences while leaving a meaningful footprint for the future. It turns estate planning into an amazing celebration of relationships and shared experiences.
2 bay leaves
1 lb carrots, peeled and cut into 2-inch pieces 1 lb baby golden potatoes 3 celery stalks, cut into 1-inch pieces 1 large sweet onion, cut into 8 wedges
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2 1/2 cups beef stock 2 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
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2 tbsp cornstarch
Inspired by ThePioneerWoman.com
TAKE A BREAK
APPLES BASKETBALL BLACK FRIDAY ELECTION
KINDNESS LEAVES NAP PARADE
PIE SCORPIO TOPAZ VETERAN
e of mind tomorrow.
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Plan today for peace of mind tomorrow. 39755 Date St., Ste. 203 | Murrieta, CA 92563 (951) 445-4114 | ShoupLegal.com
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1 | Don’t Just Survive the Chaos, Reframe It 2 | Inside the Explosive Probate Battle Over Gary Coleman’s Estate 2 | Meet the New Face Behind Our Legal Processes 3 | Estate Planning as the Gift That Keeps on Giving 3 | Slow Cooker Brisket 4 | The Global Movement Making Astronomy Available for Everyone Inside This Issue
SIDEWALK TELESCOPES ARE BRINGING THE UNIVERSE TO YOU Stop, Look, and Wonder
Imagine walking down a city sidewalk and seeing a telescope pointed toward the sky. There aren’t any ticket lines or admission fees, only a friendly smile and a view of Saturn’s rings or the craters of the moon. That’s what’s happening thanks to a growing global movement bringing astronomy directly to the people, right on the streets! In cities worldwide, astronomy enthusiasts are setting up powerful telescopes in parks, on sidewalks, and in busy downtown areas. Their mission is simple: to share the wonders of the universe with anyone who happens to walk by. The best part is there’s no experience required. All you need is a little curiosity. The movement is called #popscope (short for pop-up telescope). Founded in Ottawa, Ontario, in 2014, it has expanded to include hundreds of cities in Canada, the U.S., Ireland, and India. Volunteers, often amateur astronomers or passionate stargazers, invite strangers to peer into the sky, and many people are left speechless. It’s a great reminder that we all live under the same stunning sky.
These spontaneous sidewalk star parties are making science more accessible, especially for communities that don’t have easy access to observatories or science museums. Beyond amazing educational opportunities, the pop-up telescope events spark something deeply human: connection. As people gather to look up, they share a sense of awe that transcends background, language, and age. It’s hard not to feel united when staring at the vastness of space. This isn’t about high-tech gear or flashy presentations; instead, it’s an opportunity to pause for a moment amidst the noise and hustle and realize the universe is right there, waiting to be admired. Thanks to these sidewalk astronomers, more and more people are getting that chance.
To volunteer for the group, visit their website at PopScope.org .
So, the next time you’re strolling through the city and see a telescope a stranger has set up, don’t walk past it. Stop. Look. Wonder. You just might see Jupiter’s moons or Saturn’s rings, and you’ll definitely walk away with a smile!
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