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F rom I cons to I mperfections THE DARK SIDE OF HERO ADMIRATION
NOVEMBER 2023
My belief that hero worship is tremendously dangerous has been heightened by the work I do. I’ve witnessed divorces involving people of every race, gender, sexual orientation, socioeconomic class, religion, and any other category you can imagine. We often see into the depths of these people’s lives, and at the end of the day, our joys, struggles, concerns, and aspirations are more similar than not. I think it’s crucial that we stop focusing on others and what they have so we can focus more on ascertaining what is important to us and why, thus creating goals that push us forward in our lives. While we should not worship prominent figures in our culture, I believe that it is okay to learn from them. I watched Oprah religiously when she had her daytime talk show and learned many valuable lessons from her, but I never considered Oprah my hero. She was someone I found entertaining, informative, and likable, but nothing more. Life is about learning who we are, why we act the way we do, and what’s important to us. We have to learn to accept ourselves as we are so we can live our best lives going forward. Putting anyone on a pedestal is problematic, regardless of whether they’re a celebrity, parent, or anyone else. We don’t honestly know what’s happening in others’ lives; we’re just looking in from the outside. You may think your neighbor has the perfect life, but you don’t actually know what’s going on in their house behind closed doors. If you start to feel disconnected from yourself and begin feeling envious of others’ lifestyles, one of the best things you can do to help yourself is take a break from social media. People rarely post their true feelings or thoughts on social media. I’ve seen many people who are experiencing difficult marital problems post on Facebook about how wonderful their marriage and spouse are. Social media has almost become a way for people to make others feel bad about themselves or a way to make other people see us the way we want to be seen rather than the way we are. We see posts of couples on grand vacations and think, “Well, I could never do that.” And it eats at us until the jealousy has completely consumed our lives. Don’t let jealousy or hero adoration take over your life. When you stop comparing yourself to others, you can find much more enjoyment and satisfaction in your own life.
People have looked up to athletes, actors, and other prominent celebrities for generations, but in recent years, this has reached a whole new level that many consider hero worship. This is especially prevalent on social media. Pull up a recent post from a famous or wealthy individual, and you’ll see countless comments praising and admiring them. Then, the fans will emulate the same behaviors as their idols, trying to reach similar levels of fame and success. In truth, the people we worship have carefully contrived images of themselves that they present to the general public. More often than not, the image sold to us has little to no truth. If you want to see a great example of this, look no further than Bill Cosby. My parents rarely let us watch TV when we were growing up, but the one show I was always allowed to watch was “The Cosby Show.” It gave us a good break from homework while teaching us valuable life lessons that would surely benefit us in the future. Back then, society recognized Bill Cosby as America’s Dad and looked at him as an example of a great paternal figure. All of these years later, we’ve learned that Cosby was a monster hiding behind a mask.
- Esther Vayman
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If you’ve attempted Marie Kondo’s famous “spark joy” approach to decluttering but still have too much stuff, you might want to try the CORE 4 Method designed by professional organizer Kayleen Kelly. Kelly specializes in tackling “chronic clutter” and designs her techniques to work for everyone , including people who are neurodivergent. Her CORE 4 Method has earned her millions of online fans because it includes just four steps anyone can follow to purge clutter! Here’s how it works. STEP 1: CLEAR OUT — First, choose one room of your home to work on. Then, grab a trash bag and several sturdy boxes. Use the bag to collect trash like food wrappers or broken items you never got around to S ay G oodbye to C hronic C lutter USE THE CORE 4 METHOD TO TRANSFORM YOUR HOME!
repairing. Then, look for things that belong in other rooms of your home and toss them into the boxes, using a different box for each room. If you’re working in your office, for example, move extra sweaters to your bedroom box and the spare hammer to your garage box. Then, put the boxes in their corresponding rooms to deal with later. STEP 2: CATEGORIZE — Sort everything left in your room into categories. In your bedroom, you might have one pile for clothes, one for shoes, and another for hobby items. STEP 3: CUT OUT — Assess the storage in your room and use that space to calculate how many items you can keep from each category. For example, if you have a category of books, figure out how many will fit on your bookshelf. That’s how many books you can keep! Then, choose a category and go through it item by item. Kelly recommends using the “3 Second Rule”: Give yourself three seconds to decide if each item is a “Yes’’ or a “No,” and consider anything you hesitate on a “Yes.”
Repeat this cycle until you have the right number of items in each category.
STEP 4: CONTAIN — Stash each category of items in its designated storage space. Kelly suggests keeping “like” items together and ensuring your regularly used things are easy to access. These four steps can help you tackle even the most cluttered spaces. With help from a few friends, you can organize an entire room in a single day!
EMPATHY AND EXPERTISE
M eet T om , O ur P aralegal
history and psychology, and after graduation, he contemplated various career paths. He knew he didn’t want to become a teacher, so he began looking into his interests. He loved to read, write, and help others, which inevitably led him to law school at the University of Mississippi. Tom was well on his way to becoming a full-fledged attorney, but the pandemic promptly put his plans on pause. After exploring a few other ventures, Tom decided to explore a career in the legal field before taking the bar to ensure he was making the right decision. He started working with us in October 2022, and we’ve never looked back. Tom works as a paralegal, helping our clients with probate. He knows how difficult this time is for many families and aims to make the situation easier by offering guidance and clarity. Know that when you work with Tom, he is truly on your side. He works diligently to put our clients in a better position than they were before probate. At the end of the day, he wants to help our clients accomplish their goals, whatever they may be. In a few short months, Tom will take the bar to earn the right to practice law in our state. He’s busy preparing and studying but still finds time to participate in his favorite hobbies. Tom loves to play golf, take his dog to the dog park, and end the day by relaxing while playing video games. He also enjoys writing and reading fiction.
When we hire new team members, we’re always on the lookout for ambitious individuals. We want to work with people who are determined to grow in their roles, help as many clients as possible, and do whatever it takes to accomplish their personal and professional goals. Our paralegal, Tom, is currently proving his ambition by preparing to take the Georgia bar exam.
Tom wasn’t always sure where his career path would lead him. While an undergrad, he studied
Tom has been a great source of information and support for our clients. Join us in wishing him the best of luck as he takes the bar this February!
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WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU ARE THANKFUL FOR THIS YEAR?
Madison My supportive family Emily T. The opportunities and privileges I’ve been afforded from my family and friends! Esther My family and my team here at work! Loni Having the ability to carry our rainbow baby! Shine My family and being able to travel more with them Bella Being in our new home one year now and all of the memories made with our friends and family Amanda D. Coming to work at V&T Law
Jen B. Having a family of my own after many years of infertility Jennifer
Nicole Family and the friends that have become family! Grace Health of my dad and niece and being able to celebrate close friends’ weddings in faraway places. Emily L. Family, friends, and moving to Alpharetta to work with all of these lovely people Kimberly My baby, Morgan Atlas, being born! Maggie Our son, Theo, being born this year!
The health of my family and the support of good friends Amanda H. My friends and family Julia Getting my house back after Christmas water damage, health of family and friends, and welcoming my best friend’s baby girl into the world. Sara Friends and family! Kendall Getting to marry the love of my life this year and becoming an aunt for the first time! ingredients • 2 cups butternut squash, cubed • 4 tbsp olive oil, divided • 2 cups sliced leeks • 4 garlic cloves, chopped • 8 sage leaves • 1 cup Arborio rice
B utternut S quash R isotto
BRAIN BREAK
• 1/2 tsp salt • 1/4 tsp pepper • 1/2 tsp nutmeg • 5 cups veggie or chicken stock • 2 to 3 handfuls spinach • 1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese (optional)
Inspired by FeastingAtHome.com
This comforting risotto recipe is perfect for a cold night.
directions 1. Preheat oven to 400 F. On a parchment-lined sheet pan, toss squash with 2 tbsp olive oil. Roast until tender (30 minutes) and set aside. 2. In a Dutch oven, heat 2 tbsp olive oil over medium heat and add leeks. Sauté until tender, then add garlic and sage. Sauté for 2 more minutes. 3. Add rice and sauté for 1 minute, stirring. Add salt, pepper, and nutmeg. Add 1–2 cups of stock to cover the rice and bring to a simmer. Cook until the liquid is absorbed. Continue to add broth 1 cup at a time, stirring occasionally until rice is plump (20 minutes). Stir in spinach, roasted squash, and Parmesan cheese.
BALLOT CORNUCOPIA CRANBERRY DISTRICTS MAIZE PILGRIM
POLITICS RAKING SHOPPING STUFFING THANKSGIVING VETERAN
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PRSRT STD US POSTAGE PAID BOISE, ID PERMIT 411
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THE PERILS OF IDEALIZING PUBLIC FIGURES
TACKLE CLUTTER WITH THE CORE 4 METHOD
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LEARN MORE ABOUT TOM
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QUESTION AND ANSWERS
BUTTERNUT SQUASH RISOTTO
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YOU NEED A PERMIT FOR A LEMONADE STAND?
3 B izarre L aws T hat S till E xist YOU COULD GET ARRESTED FOR WHAT?!
Since the beginning of time, cities, states, countries, and other groups have developed laws to provide structure for their citizens. Many laws of the past are now completely outdated, but they’re still technically legitimate laws! Here are three of the oddest laws still on the books today.
enforced, 91-year-old Ginny Dietrick received a citation for eating fried chicken with a fork and knife in 2009. The practical joke made everyone in the restaurant, including Ginny, laugh and play along. Ginny’s punishment for breaking the law was that she could not leave her table until she mastered the proper way of eating Southern fried chicken.
— if your child is making money by selling food or beverages, they must abide by food safety regulations and have a business permit or license. Only 14 states don’t require permits for kids to set up lemonade stands! FORTUNETELLING IS ONLY ALLOWED IN HEALTH CARE AND RELIGIOUS FACILITIES. Many cities worldwide have small businesses that provide services in fortunetelling, astrology, palm readings, tarot cards, evil spirit removal, and other New Age practices. In New Orleans, however, it’s illegal for a business to provide these kinds of services unless you’re in a health care profession or a place of religious worship. Remember, laws are still laws, no matter how silly they are, so do some research online to see if your city has any bizarre mandates you could be breaking right now!
FORKS AND KNIVES ARE PROHIBITED! In 1961, Gainesville, Georgia, passed a law that made eating fried chicken with anything other than your hands illegal. The ordinance was a publicity
YOU MUST HAVE A PERMIT TO SET UP A LEMONADE STAND. At least once in your life, you’ve either seen or operated a lemonade stand. This longstanding rite of
passage teaches kids the value of working hard to earn their own money, so how could this simple tradition be considered illegal?
stunt to advertise Gainesville as the poultry capital of the world. Although the rule isn’t taken literally and is hardly
In many cities nationwide, lemonade stands are treated like any other small business
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