actual willingness to face the fact o f a breakdown in the relationship with someone else may be a very maturing experience, especially as so often the tendency is to deny that there is anything wrong at all. Of course, there is one difficulty in moving from an impossible situation. It should be recalled that no matter how desperate the situation, a transfer is only part of the solution. One of the parties in volved in the dispute will always be with you! The more bitter the dispute, the more likely it is that you yourself are having serious problems which are a part of the unhealthy situation. Can you be certain that merely by moving to another location you will be able to avoid similar disputes in the future? It may be that there will be another per son there with whom your personality cannot agree and under these circumstances there has been no real- gain through the transfer. The best human means for the avoidance o f conflicts is true under standing. Such understanding must first involve the self. This does not mean that every missionary or every Christian must constantly and repeatedly analyze everything that he does, but he should have an understanding o f himself, of his limitar tions, and of his aspirations, o f those things that disturb him, and o f those things which please him. In this way he will not become frightened by his own inconsistencies, or by the attacks o f others, into taking a falsely dogmatic and aggessive posi tion. Besides an understanding o f himself he needs an understanding of others. He must realize that other people have their own points o f view, de veloped because of their different backgrounds and experiences, both good and destructive. He need not be a psychologist, but he should at least be able to realize that each man’s personality is the result of many years o f life, and he should take this into consideration as he works with fellow-Christians. In conclusion, I would like to say that prayer is still effective as a means by which the solution to the apparently insoluble may be discovered. Earlier I spoke o f some of the bad habits which may creep into prayer. At this time I would like to emphasize the true place o f prayer as a channel which makes possible the working o f the grace of God in a Christian’s life. Each man and woman has at his disposal resources far greater than his own. Through humble prayer he can avail himself of resources which can bring quiet to his troubled soul, which can (at times slowly) unravel the snarls which have developed in the woven pattern of life, and which can take even the most bitter o f situa tions and ultimately use even them to further the will o f God. From Psychology and Personality Development by John D. Frame. Copyright © 1961. Moody Press, Moody Bible Institute of Chicago. Condensed. Used by permission. DU
sort of a quick confession o f his own wrongdoing and may become even abject in his admission of his guilt. This development should ordinarily be viewed with a degree o f suspicion. It may seem good but it simply is not natural. Case #61. A young man was told by a col league in Christian service that he had been unkind to a third worker in opposing his pro posal for Christian work. The young man was eager to make amends and “ confessed” his wrongdoing. Later he realized with disgust that his confession had been made only to “keep peace in the family” ; he had been justi fied in his opposition to his co-worker’s unwise plans, which were causing serious distur bances in the work o f the group. A confession which is not genuine, which con fesses too much, merely leads to further resent ment and discord in the future. Both individuals seeking a solution o f their differences by mature discussion o f them need a good degree o f self- respect and a willingness to try to respect the other. I f the problem continues in spite o f honest prayer and frank discussion, it is often necessary to bring the matter to the attention o f the proper authorities. It is wise to make certain that the authority whom you select has jurisdiction in this matter. For example, it is ordinarily not wise to jump over the head of some properly constituted executive on the field and appeal to his superior at home unless the field executive has already been approached and has had a chance to understand the situation fully. However, at this point it must be admitted that not all o f those who have positions of responsibility are truly capable of meeting their obligation. When the properly constituted authority has been approached with the problem, there is always the possibility that the “ proper authority” will do nothing about the situation at all! He may in the first place not believe that the situation is as serious as it has been painted to him. Because o f this, he may be afraid to face the other person involved. Even if he is not afraid, he may recognize that both parties to the situation are doing effective work in their own spheres and he may not know how to resolve the problem without removing one from a very needy project. Loath to do this, he may do nothing at all. Under this situation, what can be done? If the situation has become truly intolerable, the only step which is possible may be removal to a different area. I f the situation is within a church in the homeland, taking member ship from one church and joining another may cause questions to be raised, but may actually be the best answer. On the field the missionary may well ask for a transfer to another station. Again, questions may be asked and eyebrows raised, but Inore than one person has been salvaged for mis sionary work because o f a timely transfer. The
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THE KING'S BUSINESS
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