King's Business - 1962-01

EMC . ! . A ll Independent, Conservative, Pastors and Churches, are invited to inquire about ordination and membership re­ quirements. W rite to: EVANGELICAL MINISTERS AND CHURCHES, IN TERNATIONAL 2057 Lawrence Ave., Chicago 25, III. Member Mission I.F.M.A. W A N T E D RECRUITS For Pakistan & India Write for free literature 107-K North Hale Street Wheaton, Illinois MONEY FOR YOUR TREASURY OYER 2,000,000 SUNFLOWER DISH CLOTHS Were sold in 1958 by members of Societies, Clubs, Groups, etc. They enable you to earn money for your treasury, and make friends for your organization. Samples FREE to Officials SANGAMON MILLS Established 1915 Cohoes, N.Y. JOIN THE A.E.C.C. It you have been called to preach the Gospel o f our Lord Jesus Christ and are in undenomi­ national work, you ore invited to become a member o f this fast growing organization. Credentials issued to members. Your inquiry invited. AMERICAN EVANGELICAL CHRISTIAN CHURCHES 192 N. Clark St. Chicago 1, III. Consultant, Narcotic Education, National WCTU Facing the Alcohol Problem. An inspiring edu­ cational tool for use by young people and adults in churches and church schools. 60c per copy. Order NOW from: National WCTU Publishing House 1730 Chicago Ave. Dept. KB Evanston, III. Coming next month HERBERT ARMSTRONG : "M R . CONFUSION” GLENDALE READERS w ill find all of their supply needs at THE BIOLA BOOK ROOM 121 West Wilson, Glendale, California TODAY'S DECEIVER The Bible and Science vs. Alcohol by Helen M. Allen CEYLON an d INDIA GENERAL MISSION-,

by Paul Bayles, Pastor, Christ Community Church Canoga Park, Calif.

theChristianhome Phrases like “ for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health” are reasonable parts of the marriage service. Marriage does not isolate us from the pressures of test­ ings and temperaments. Homes are not built on “moonlight and roses.” C. G. Jung wrote, “ Seldom, or per­ haps never, does a marriage develop i n t o an individual relationship smoothly and without crisis; there is no coming to consciousness without pain.” First of all, couples should define each crisis and problem. Is it illness, or is it fear? Are they competing with each other, withholding real love and offering material things as substi­ tutes for affection? What is the cloud that isolates you from your partner? Sometimes professional help is needed but it is part of marriage for partners and parents to seek answers together as adults. Ability to do this does not require a degree in psychology as much as a will to learn, give and un­ derstand. A disturbed couple came to my of­ fice because they were emotionally isolated from each other, living in worlds separated by a cloud of mis­ understanding. At no point of experi­ ence did their lives seem to iteract. The husband complained that his wife was ashamed of him. The wife expressed extreme dislike for his fond­ ness for the outdoors, for frequent hunting trips and camping expedi­ tions. For years they had tried to re­ sist these areas of estrangement. They soon realized that these complaints were only symptoms of mutual fail­ ures in their relationship deeper than the points of friction about which they complained. As the interviews progressed, the husband realized that the problem included his aggressive domination of the marriage; that in the early years of their marriage, his wife in­ terpreted this as manly strength, but resented it even while submitting to it. Almost immediately, the wife rec­ ognized that her intense dislike of hunting was not due to her feminine fastidiousness as opposed to his boor­ ishness, for which she punished him with ridicule, but that his hunting trips symbolized a freedom in their marriage which she was denied. His aggressiveness and her extreme sub­ mission were also understood in the light of their background; that they actually found each other in an effort

to recreate a situation which they could not handle as children. When they began to work on the problem of equality as persons, both began giving themselves to the other. The normal needs that had been met artificially by feelings of superiority by the wife and with extravagant hunting trips by the husband, were soon satisfied by a mutual exchange of consideration and concern. The hunting trips continue, but the wife no longer finds it necessary to despise the outdoors so intensely-. Secondly, couples need a quality in their love that transcends self-inter­ est. Desire and companionship are im­ portant essentials in marriage, but they do involve self-interest and per­ sonal need. Under stress and strain, desire can be dead and mere friend­ ship impossible. A spiritual quality is needed if love is to endure. This quality is something higher than rea­ son and emotion. Reason argues, “ Since she has done this to me, I have a right to ignore her.” Emotion re­ acts, “He has hurt and humiliated me. I hate him.” Within the Chris­ tian, the Holy Spirit whispers, “ There are two sides to the story. Perhaps there were pressures which you did not realize. Remember how often you have faltered and failed. I have forgiven you of everything. I gave My life for you. You must for­ give too” (Ephesians 4:32). Some­ times it is very difficult to forgive in marriage. Sometimes complete for­ giveness is impossible without sincere demonstrations of repentance. Yet the willingness and eagerness to forgive is a spiritual quality to love that is essential, if testings are to benefit our homes. Our homes need to be founded upon Christ. Jesus said, “And the rain de­ scended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock” (Matt. 7:25). To really be founded upon Christ, our homes must be more than nomi­ nally Christian. The principles on which our homes are managed must be qualitatively identical to the doc­ trines of our Lord. Worldly principles of living are sandy and imperma­ nent foundations. To choose and de­ cide as Christ did; to love, live and give as did He; to build for eternity as well as for time: these are spiritual materials for solid, rock-like construc­ tion, against which the storms of life must beat in vain.

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