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A ugust 2023
What Parents of New College Students Don’t Expect A C hange I s C oming
As young adults head off to college for the first time, their parents’ lives are changing dramatically. They might be new empty nesters or adjusting to updated family dynamics with one fewer child in the house. Even if the student continues living at home, their new legal adult status has ramifications. Your relationship with the child you raised can’t and shouldn’t stay the same forever. Young adults intuitively understand this and often seek to recalibrate the relationship before their parents. Over the years, I’ve also seen countless new college students take adulthood as an opportunity to get closer to their formerly noncustodial parent. It usually catches the former custodial parent off guard, but it happens so often that I wonder if a biological urge is at play. Many custodial parents struggle deeply with this turn of events. To many, it feels like rejection or a message they weren’t “enough” for their child. It also seems incredibly unfair. Often, the custodial parent did the lion’s share of the work getting their child ready for college, and now their ex is reaping the rewards.
So, if you start hearing much more about “Mom” or “Dad” from your child in the coming months, don’t be too surprised. I strongly urge you to stay calm and let the scenario play out. You’ll probably see normalcy return within the next year if you do. But like grains of sand in your hand, the tighter you try to hold onto your child, the faster they’ll slip through your fingers. While many people see the reemergence of the noncustodial parent as a threat, they shouldn’t. Hopefully, your ex is taking the opportunity to be a more present parent. If they are, your child will feel more balanced and secure in their own skin. But if your ex does let your child down, they’ll have the opportunity to see their other parent with fresh adult eyes and a more mature perspective. They might even develop a newfound appreciation for what you’ve been through. As much as you want to protect your child from potential rejection or pain, discouraging the relationship will only backfire and draw them closer to the other parent.
As for your ex, I encourage you to find it in your heart to give them grace. It probably won’t be the last time. Many people think having children with someone ties you to them for 18 years, but in truth, the bonds last a lifetime. Your ex will probably be at your child’s wedding, in the delivery room as they welcome your grandchildren into the world, and present for other important milestones. This isn’t the end of your relationship with your child’s other parent; it’s the start of another new chapter. Finally, if the noncustodial parent has been absent until now, remember that absence was itself a presence. Your child has felt it keenly their entire lives. Which is better: someone who has flaws but shows up or someone who doesn’t bother? Your child will live with the effects either way. Try to make peace with any newfound relationship, no matter how challenging — for your child’s sake.
–Michael Manely
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C hoose the R ight S itter for Y our P et YOUR FAMILY MAY NOT BE UP TO THE TASK!
When your children were young, you wouldn’t trust their care to any old babysitter, would you? Of course not! Now, your pets are no different. When you head out for a summer vacation, they deserve to be cared for by someone who will pamper and protect them the same way you would. The only problem is, who? Friends and Family vs. Professionals You may be tempted to ask your sibling, friend, or child to watch your pet. This can be a great solution because you trust them, and they’ve bonded with your furry friend already. But have you considered a professional? Some situations may call for a little more. Use these questions to help you decide:
If your loved one is pressed for time or easily stressed, or your pet has medical needs, you may be better off working with a professional. How to Find the Right Pro When choosing a professional pet sitter, don’t start with the flier on the stop sign pole down the street (it was probably put up by a 10-year-old). Instead, call your pet’s vet, groomer, and/or trainer and ask if they can recommend a nearby pet sitter. You can also ask friends and family who are conscientious pet owners. Then,
thoroughly check the sitter’s credentials and experience. Look for signs that they’re serious about their work, like certifications, insurance, and background check information, and set up an interview and meet-and- greet with your pet. If you can’t find a sitter through your network, consider online groups like the National Association of Professional Pet Sitters, Care.com, Pet Sitters International, Rover, or TrustedHousesitters, and use the same vetting strategy. For more help choosing a great sitter, visit HumaneSociety.org/resources.
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Will your friend or family member be able to visit your home regularly or stay there temporarily while you’re gone to avoid disrupting your pet’s routine? Does your pet have a disability or need to take medication that would be better handled by a professional? Does your friend or family member know how to stay cool and react calmly in case of a veterinary emergency?
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F elix K loc H as F ound H is C alling Why He Loves Family Law Felix Kloc didn’t know what legal field interested him most when he enrolled in law school. Still, he says, “I knew I liked building relationships and solving problems, and family law really sits at the intersection of relationships and problem-solving.” It was the perfect fit. As a newer attorney, Felix has found his education at The Manely Firm invaluable. “If I’m ever seeking guidance on an issue, the people here are willing to take time out of their incredibly busy schedules to help me have a clearer, more comprehensive understanding,” he says. He believes teamwork benefits the firm’s clients as well as its employees. “You have not only an attorney working your case who is extremely competent and invested, but you also have the whole firm behind you,” he explains. Felix also appreciates his teammates’ dedication to their work. “Everyone is so focused on ensuring their clients are taken care of,” he says. “Even if it’s 5 p.m. on a Friday or noon on a Saturday, if something really needs to be done to put the client in a better position to succeed, we’re all willing to do it.” Felix argues that’s crucial in the field of family law: “Our clients are going through one of the hardest things they’ve ever gone through. But hopefully, we can help them see a positive outcome.” When Felix married his wife Tess in 2021, he says it gave him a new perspective on family law. “I went from having two sisters to 10 brothers and sisters-in-law,” he says. “I realized every family is unique, and the solutions for each one are dictated by what your family looks like.” The couple has two cats, Bobs and Pim, though they’re also in the process of “adopting” several neighborhood cats who enjoy the food Felix and Tess leave out. Felix loves watching soccer in his spare time and has become a big Savannah Clovers fan. “Family has always been the foundation I’ve built the rest of my life on,” Felix says. “I think the same can be said for a lot of people. Helping determine what a family looks like going forward and building a strong foundation for success gets me out of bed in the morning. I know I can make a real difference in the lives of my clients, their children, and everyone around them.”
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B e a G o -G iver
We are thrilled to announce the kick-off of our upcoming coveted Speaker Series, available to clients only, beginning in August on Wednesday evenings. Each virtual session will feature either an attorney or professional speaker providing insight on the issues impacting our clients the most. Details to come, but we welcome all existing clients to join us as we continue to provide our clients with helpful resources to reach the very best tomorrow.
The First of 5 Secrets to Better Relationships
The Manely Firm helps families going through conflict, separation, and divorce. So, it might seem odd that our team is currently studying a book
about marriage. But “The Go-Giver Marriage: A Little Story About the 5 Secrets to Lasting Love” by Ana Gabriel Mann and John David Mann teaches us much more than how to be better partners in a wedded union. The same principles the
T omato G nocchi K ebabs
Manns outline apply to every relationship you have in life.
Inspired by Delish.com
We chose “The Go- Giver Marriage” as part of our firm’s continuing education because our work involves much more than providing legal services. Everything we do sits at the intersection of relationships and the law. Each of the secrets in “The Go-Giver Marriage” is as profound and crucial as the next, but it takes work to learn how to put them into practice. Fortunately, The Manely Firm had a head start on one of the five secrets: attend. To attend to someone is to pay attention to them and take action on what you learn. It’s remembering things they care about and acting to meet their wants and needs. The Manely Firm had already worked hard to put attending to our clients into practice when we rolled out our concierge-level service model in 2022. You might remember some of our principles from previous newsletters. They’re all ways to look at what our clients need and provide it to them.
I ngredients
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1/4 cup fresh parsley 1/4 cup fresh basil
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Kosher salt
1 12-oz package fresh gnocchi 2 pints cherry tomatoes 2 small red onions, cut into 2-inch pieces Freshly ground black pepper
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Offer unexpected perks or amenities
1/4 cup and 2 tbsp extra-virgin olive oil, divided
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Perform random acts of kindness
2 tsp capers
1 tbsp fresh lemon juice
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1 clove garlic
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Provide a superior digital experience
D irections 1.
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Provide an enhanced in-office experience
In a food processor, combine parsley, basil, 1/4 cup oil, capers, lemon juice, and garlic to make salsa verde. Blend until smooth, season to taste with salt, and chill until ready to serve. 2. If using bamboo skewers, soak in water to prevent scorching. 3. In a large bowl, toss gnocchi, tomatoes, onions, and remaining oil until coated. Season with salt and pepper, then thread gnocchi, tomatoes, and onions onto the skewers. 4. On a grill preheated to medium-high, cook the kebabs, flipping halfway through, until the tomatoes are blistered and the gnocchi is browned (7–8 minutes). 5. Transfer kebabs to a platter, drizzle with salsa verde, and serve.
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Remove customer pain
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Serve as a trusted advisor
Crucially, attending to someone means being generous without expecting to receive something in return. To attend to a partner, child, parent, friend, or coworker, giving must be its own reward and source of joy. Learning to attend to someone strengthens and enriches your relationship in ways you might never have imagined and creates a solid foundation for the other four secrets.
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211 Roswell St. NE Marietta, GA 30060 (866) 687-8561 www.allfamilylaw.com
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The Noncustodial Parent Reemerges
Find a Trustworthy Pet Sitter What Makes Attorney Felix Kloc Passionate
How to Attend to Those You Love Tomato Gnocchi Kebabs
A Guardian Angel Covered in Fur
We all wish our pets would be there for us in an emergency. Dogs, cats, and other animals can accomplish amazing feats when provided with enough love and care, and a cat from Liverpool named Willow recently proved that many times over. A cat’s sense of smell is incredibly effective at detecting when something is abnormal, and Willow used her nose to save her owner in the nick of time. For many with diabetes, falling into a diabetic coma is a constant concern, and they regularly check their blood sugar levels and take insulin shots to avoid that scenario. Amanda Jameson, a 51-year-old woman from Liverpool, received a diabetes diagnosis years ago but had always stayed on top of it. In April 2023, she fell asleep while her blood sugar was dangerously low. Thankfully, her cat, Willow, noticed something was wrong and sprang into action. Willow went to the living room, where Amanda’s husband had fallen asleep watching television. Willow proceeded to bite his leg and jump on him until he woke up around 4 a.m. He could tell something was wrong, as this was abnormal behavior for Willow, so he followed her to the bedroom, where he spotted his wife. She was slumped over and unresponsive, and he immediately called her an ambulance. Doctors informed Amanda’s husband that she was A C at ’ s N ose K nows HOW WILLOW SAVED HER OWNER’S LIFE
moments away from slipping into a diabetic coma, but Willow had smelled something off and gotten help before it was too late.
Most pets would get a few extra treats for their heroism, but Willow’s feats earned her a more prestigious award. The National Cat Awards named Willow as a finalist for their “Moggy Marvels” category. If Willow wins, she’ll receive a trophy, a £200 pet store voucher, and a year subscription to Cats Protection’s “The Cat” magazine. Although Willow likely doesn’t care about the trophy or the subscription, she’ll be happy enough with £200 worth of goodies and her owner safely by her side.
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