King's Business - 1966-05

M o t h e r ’ s D a y in my own home was a joke, a farce, before I became a Christian mother. Oh yes, we all went through the motions of celebrating a happy “Mother’s Day,” but I knew too well just what kind of a mother I really was, so I was al­ ways a little relieved when the day was over. Most of the year I felt my children were certainly a hindrance to my singing career and a real hardship on my physical health, not to mention my nerves—and all those diapers! Everything changed when I be­ came a Christian, especially my atti­ tude. I began to look at our children as the most precious and rewarding re­ sponsibility of my life. To think that God would entrust their lives to me is still a source of wonder! To real­ ize that to train our dear children in the way they should go takes every ounce of brains, talent and stamina that I can muster, plus James 1:5! I know too that I can never again say, in a tired, bored voice, “ I’m just a mother!” I can recall vividly the day I talked with a girl who was expecting. I asked, “ Oh, is this your first baby?” “ I hope so,” she answered. I ques­ tioned, “ You hope so?” “ Yes,” she said, “ I have had seven miscarriages so far and I pray this baby makes it.” I hugged our children a little tighter that night even though it was after I picked up the glass Laurie had broken and after I settled a small fight with Rick. I can recall last Mother’s Day when two of our children celebrated with me and one tiny brother smiled down from Heaven’s railing. I think my heart ached, not so much from missing him, but from the knowledge that everywhere in the world are women who have never given birth or reared a child, women who have never felt that breathless bit of won­ der when that baby is placed, for the very first time, in her arms. I thought of my friend, who longed so to be a mother, who would have been so good at it, but who never was able to bear any children. I asked her about her thoughts on Mother's Day. These are the four lines she wrote back in reply: “ Her beautiful home is proper and neat, There’s never a thing out of place, And yet her heart aches for a small cluttered room And a soft chubby hand on her face.” Dear Lord, help me, when it is very difficult to be the mother I should be, to remember these words,

and think what it would be without my little ones.

My mother is so nervous and "jittery" all the time. M y mother's love is "smother-love." M y mother doesn't guide— she dictates. M y mother never compliments me — she only compares me. M y mother allows me no privacy. M y mother is never at home. M y mother never agrees with my father on discipline. M y mother is jealous of my friends; she clings to me. M y mother wants me to be like her, and I want to be me. M y mother never says "I'm sorry," even when she's wrong. M y mother doesn't care how she looks. M y mother is always at church, but I don't see results at home. Although your task as a mother is an extremely difficult one, the Holy Spirit can open your heart to His promptings and give you wisdom as you seek God's guid­ ance. Mrs. Ruth Calkin welcomes readers’ questions.

Dear Ruth: I find it increasingly difficult to com­ municate with my teen-age daughter. I long for a healthy, congenial relation­ ship, but there are so many barriers between us. How can I melt them down ? Dear Mrs. B.: A s you prayerfully take inventory of your relationship with your daughter, it may help you to know the “complaints about mothers" most frequently expressed by teen-age daughters: M y mother is so easily shocked I just can't confide in her. M y mother doesn't really want to know what I think and feel.

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THE KING'S BUSINESS

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