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Choosing Peace Over Payback
“The best revenge is to be unlike him who performed the injury.” – Marcus Aurelius No, I haven’t been studying Roman philosophy. I heard that quote on an airplane while I was watching the sequel to the movie “Gladiator.” Aurelius’ words offer a fresh perspective: The best revenge isn’t getting even; it’s refusing to become like the person who wronged you. Life has a way of teaching us through experience. At some point, we all face unfairness, hurtful words, or betrayal. It’s natural to want to strike back, to make the other person feel the same pain they caused us. But does that ever bring peace? When we think of strength, we often picture someone standing their ground, fighting back. But real strength isn’t just about standing up to others — it’s about standing up to the worst parts of ourselves. If someone is rude, it’s easy to snap back. If someone is dishonest, it’s tempting to play their game. If someone betrays your trust, our instinct is to shut others out. But what if we chose to remain kind, honest, and open-hearted instead? That takes far more strength than retaliation ever will. There’s an old saying: “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” Revenge, even in small ways, keeps us tied to the person or event that hurt us. It doesn’t bring healing; it prolongs the pain. I’ve seen this play out in families time and time again. A parent passes away, and siblings, who once loved each other deeply, find themselves in bitter disputes over an inheritance. Harsh words are exchanged, old wounds are reopened, and before long, the relationship is beyond repair. In those moments, the desire to “win” overshadows what truly matters — family, love, and peace of mind. I often ask my clients: “Will this matter in five years? In 10? When you look back on your life, what will you regret more — losing a battle or losing a relationship?” I know it’s hard, but there are ways we can take this lesson to heart. Pause before reacting. When emotions run high, it’s easy to respond in ways we later regret. Taking a deep breath, walking, or even a full day before responding can prevent words or actions we can’t take back.
Choose integrity over ego. Sometimes, walking away or taking the high road may feel like “losing.” But in reality, it’s choosing peace over conflict, wisdom over pride. Let go for your own sake. Forgiveness isn’t about excusing bad behavior — it’s about deciding that the person who hurt you doesn’t get to take up space in your heart or head any longer. Jonathan Lockwood Huie was right when he said: “Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.” Be the example. You can influence others by showing them a better way. You break the cycle when you respond to rudeness with kindness, lies with truth, and cruelty with grace. In the end, the way we handle life’s difficulties becomes part of the legacy we leave behind. Our children, grandchildren, and those who love us are watching. They will remember not just what we said but how we lived. The best revenge isn’t about making someone else suffer. It’s about refusing to let them change who we are. And in that, we find true strength and inner peace. I’ll leave you with a quote from an unknown author whose wisdom is undeniable: “Live well. It is the greatest revenge.”
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MichiganEstatePlans.com • 888.487.6150
ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT
EMBRACE YOUR CAPACITY FOR GROWTH
In a fast-changing world, it’s easy to get bogged down in self- doubt and negativity. Mindset coaching, a new route to self- improvement, applies psychological tools to instill a more upbeat, hopeful attitude toward life.
It’s important to understand that mindset coaches are not therapists, nor are they licensed or regulated. Interested individuals should seek a qualified coach trained and certified by a reputable coaching organization. The training equips mindset coaches with tools to help clients cultivate resilience and positivity, including mindfulness, journaling, visualizing achievements, and cognitive restructuring or replacing negative thought patterns with more realistic, balanced views. Mindset coaches also help clients uproot limiting beliefs about themselves and reduce their fear of being evaluated negatively by others. For example, mindset coaching might help a software engineer struggling with self-doubt and fear of failure to reframe their thinking and view criticism as constructive feedback to help improve their skills. Also, a manager striving for a promotion might learn to value their skills and cultivate a belief in their ability to expand and acquire new competencies. Ultimately, clients are taught to reframe life as a journey of self-discovery and learning — a mindset so empowering that it can change lives!
Mindset coaching helps people break away from habitual negative thinking and behaviors that prevent them from seeing and reaching their potential. It is a relatively new field that evolved from two influential bodies of research — cognitive psychology, which helps
individuals recognize and change negative thought patterns, and
the work of psychologist Carol Dweck on “growth mindset,” a perspective that teaches people
they can change and develop through effort and learning.
Whether you work during the day or are blissfully retired, you’re likely familiar with feeling sleepy shortly after lunchtime. Although our daily commitments often prevent us from sneaking away for some shut-eye that early in the day, some of the world’s foremost sleep experts and researchers have concluded that giving in to our body’s desire to nap is natural and incredibly beneficial to our overall health. Here are a few surprising findings that suggest that sleep shouldn’t always be postponed until the evening. THE SECRET STRENGTHS OF MIDDAY SLUMBER Perfectly Timed Pauses If you’re fortunate enough to enjoy a good afternoon nap, the amount of time you shut off the world matters. According to a study of nearly 3,000 seniors published in the Journal of the American Geriatrics Society, participants who napped for 30–90 minutes displayed better word recall and other indicators of good cognition. However, the opposite was true of people who napped over 90 minutes. In addition to decreasing cognitive abilities, this extended period of midday sleep was believed to indicate possible poor nighttime sleep habits. As for when to take your nap, research from the Johns Hopkins Sleep Disorders Center suggested that 1–4 p.m. is the sweet spot for daytime dozing.
Uncommon Self-Care Tips While brief afternoon sleep can help you feel more alert as the day continues, it may also lead to sleep inertia — that sense of grogginess you may feel after resting for even a short period. To help alleviate the condition, the National Sleep Foundation recommends drinking a small amount of caffeine before hitting your bed or sofa. Although this advice may seem counterintuitive, it takes several minutes for caffeine to affect your body’s chemistry, so it’s more likely to give you energy when you awaken than prevent you from napping. Additionally, the foundation recommends getting outside for a few minutes of sunshine if your schedule prevents you from catching a short snooze.
MichiganEstatePlans.com • 888.487.6150
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Sudoku
Simple Steps for Smart Sustainability Healthy Habits, Happy Planet
Solution on Pg. 4
Our lifestyles and purchasing choices affect more than our personal well-being — they can change the course of our environment. Just as we should always look for new ways to maintain and strengthen our physical and mental health, we should also explore different opportunities to preserve our natural resources. Here are two simple ways to incorporate sustainability into your everyday life. Saving resources is simple. If you want to live more sustainably, focus on the little things first. Use reusable bags when grocery shopping, and avoid purchasing plastic utensils and other single-use products. Opt for energy-efficient home appliances, and fix any leaky faucets in your home or replace them with low-flow variants. While there’s nothing revolutionary about these recommendations, following them may provide quick and easy ways to drastically reduce your water consumption and utility bills. If you’re looking to advance your eco-friendly practices, consider growing your own herbs and vegetables. Not only will you have great- tasting food grown right in your yard, but you’ll also enjoy the exercise, exposure to natural light, and stress relief that come from gardening. What you wear affects the world. You may not have realized it until now, but a person’s wardrobe plays a significant role in protecting our planet. Although frugal clothing shoppers may think they’re saving money by opting for low-price attire, they’re actually doing their budgets — and our nation’s landfills and oceans — a great disservice. Research by the marketing consulting firm McKinsey & Company reveals that cheap clothing is often thrown away after only seven wears. While you may pay more upfront for a higher-quality dress or pair of pants, they’ll likely last longer than any three-for-one deal at your local discount big-box store ever could. Base your clothing purchase on durability over saving dollars — and consider donating your worn-out outfits instead of tossing them in the trash.
Helpful Resources • Is your estate plan up to date? Ask us about our FREE Estate Planning Checkup. Call our office or email Julie@mtolaw.com. • Don’t miss Glenn on “Senior Law Radio,” WHMI FM 93.5 every Sunday at 8 a.m. You can also listen live (or to previous shows) on WHMI.com. • Questions about your money? Do you need help with your financial goals, investment management, or retirement planning? Glenn has partnered with his personal financial advisor, Brad Jerome, to bring expert financial services to our clients. Brad meets with you right in our office — no cost, no obligation, and no pressure — just an opportunity to discuss your goals with a top-notch financial advisor to see where your path might lead. You can reach Brad directly at 517.301.3070. • Let us be your trusted advisor for all your legal matters. We’ve grown with the referrals we receive from our clients. We want to return the favor by helping you find a great attorney outside of estate planning, elder law, and probate. Our clients often call us in need of an attorney who focuses on personal injury, auto accidents, elder and nursing home abuse, workers’ compensation, Social Security disability, and many other areas. To get the best results, you need an experienced attorney to help. If you want a referral, call our office or email Julie@mtolaw.com. We are glad to help!
MichiganEstatePlans.com • 888.487.6150
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MichiganEstatePlans.com • 888.487.6150 915 N. Michigan Avenue, Suite 6 Howell, Michigan 48843
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What’s Inside? 1 2 Mindset Coaching: A New Path to Savoring Life
Live Well, and Leave a Legacy of Peace
Recommendations for Restorative Rest
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Paths to a Better Planet
Helpful Resources
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Unearthing History at a Prehistoric Scottish Settlement
Modern-day adventurers exploring antiquity usually stop at Stonehenge or perhaps the Egyptian pyramids. But hundreds of years earlier, on the Orkney Islands off the western coast of Scotland, prehistoric people built an even more ancient marker of civilization. The settlement of Skara Brae was occupied for about 600 years, beginning around 3180 B.C., hundreds of years before people built the first pyramids in Egypt or placed the earliest stones at Stonehenge in England. Covered with sand for many years and sunken deep into the earth for stability and shelter from Scotland’s harsh winters, the little village remains the best-preserved Neolithic site in Western Europe. What were the lives of these prehistoric people like? An estimated 50 inhabitants occupied a series of homes about 430 square feet in size. Stone doors covered low entrances, secured by bone bars. Several houses contained stone-built cupboards, dressers, seats, storage containers, and a stone hearth for warmth and cooking. Two beds, a large and a small one, were situated near the door. Ancient Settlement Opens a Window on the Distant Past
The inhabitants made and used grooved ware pottery. Some of the dwellings had a small anteroom with access to what appears to be a primitive sewer system that flushed waste out to the sea. Skara Brae is sometimes called “the Pompeii of Scotland” because its well-preserved artifacts appear to have been abandoned in a rush. Experts disagree on why occupants abandoned the settlement, but visitors are welcome to develop their own theories. Skara Brae is now a UNESCO World Heritage Site.
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