MIND-BODY-SPIRIT
The Shadow Self
VSLULWXDOO\,WD̆ HFWV\RXUUHODWLRQVKLSZLWK\RXUVHOIDVZHOODVRWKHUV The struggle to know and work with your shadow self, your Whole Self, reminds me of the Native American story of the Two Wolves. One evening, an elderly Cherokee brave told his grandson about a EDWWOHWKDWJRHVRQLQVLGHRIDOOSHRSOH +HVDLG³0\VRQWKHEDWWOHLVEHWZHHQWZRµZROYHV¶LQVLGHXVDOO 2QHLVPDOLFLRXV,WLVDQJHUHQY\MHDORXV\VRUURZUHJUHWJUHHG arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, VXSHULRULW\DQGHJR7KHRWKHULVYLUWXRXV,WLVMR\SHDFHORYHKRSH serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, WUXWKFRPSDVVLRQDQGIDLWK´ The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his JUDQGIDWKHU³:KLFKZROIZLQV"´ 7KHROG&KHURNHHUHSOLHG³,I,RQO\IHHGRQHWKHUHLVDSRZHULP - EDODQFH2QHZLOOEHFRPHKXQJU\LQUDJHDQGXVHLWVSRZHUWRGHIHDW WKHRWKHUZKHQLWLVQ¶WDZDUH7KHEDWWOHZLOOFRQWLQXHDQGQRSHDFH ZLOOFRPH,I,IHHGWKHPERWKULJKWWKH\ZLOOZRUNWRJHWKHU7KHZROI of rage and arrogance, if fed with proper food, becomes the wolf of FRXUDJHDQGVWUHQJWK<RXVHHWKHWZRZROYHVQHHGHDFKRWKHU)HHG - ing only one and starving the other will eventually make both uncon- WUROODEOH)HHGWKHPERWKDQG\RXZLOOTXLHWWKHLULQWHUQDOVWUXJJOH for your attention, and, when there is no battle inside, you can then hear the voices of deeper knowledge that will guide you in choosing WKHULJKWSDWKLQHYHU\FLUFXPVWDQFH 5HDGRQWR¿QGRXWKRZWRLGHQWLI\\RXUGDUNHUVLGHDQGOHDUQKRZ to live in balance with your shadow.
BY JENA MORRISON
'XDOLVWLF WKLQNLQJ RI JRRG DQG HYLO DUH SUREOHPDWLF 7KH WUXWK LV we all contain both good and evil, and much of what’s inside of us isn’t easy to neatly label. What is important for us on our Spiritual Journey is to get to know ourselves, honestly and with compassion. That is where shadow work — a tool for dealing with our less attractive human tendencies — comes in. 0XFKKDVEHHQZULWWHQDERXWWKH7UXH6HOI²RXUGLYLQHVHOIRIXQ - conditional love — and the False Self — the ego. Less understood is the Shadow Self. We all have personality traits or tendencies we hide from others, are embarrassed by, or even are ashamed of, and tuck away as a re- VXOW8QGHUVWDQGLQJKRZ\RXU³GDUNVLGH´RSHUDWHVFDQKHOS\RXKDYH a better relationship with yourself and with others. Once you examine DQGPDNHSHDFHZLWKWKLVVLGHRI\RXUVHOI\RXPDNHURRPIRULQ¿QLWH growth. 7KHODWH$UFKELVKRS'HVPRQG7XWXZURWHLQ 7KH%RRNRI)RUJLY - LQJ 7KH)RXUIROG3DWKIRU+HDOLQJ2XUVHOYHVDQG2XU:RUOG : $KXPDQOLIHLVDJUHDWPL[WXUHRIJRRGQHVVEHDXW\FUXHOW\ KHDUWEUHDNLQGL̆ HUHQFHORYHDQGVRPXFKPRUH:HZDQWWR divide the good from the bad, the saints from the sinners, but we FDQQRW$OORIXVVKDUHWKHFRUHTXDOLWLHVRIRXUKXPDQQDWXUH DQGVRVRPHWLPHVZHDUHJHQHURXVDQGVRPHWLPHVVHO¿VK6RPH - times we are thoughtful and other times thoughtless, sometimes ZHDUHNLQGDQGVRPHWLPHVFUXHO7KLVLVQRWDEHOLHI7KLVLVD IDFW 7KHVKDGRZVHOIKROGV\RXUSUHMXGLFHVVHO¿VKQHVVLPSXOVHVHQY\ JUHHGDQGRWKHUXQSOHDVDQWWUDLWV,W¶VFRPPRQIRUSHRSOHWRUHSUHVV WKHLU VKDGRZ VHOI EH XQDZDUH RI LW RU HYHQ GHQ\ LW DOWRJHWKHU %XW ignoring your shadow self is detrimental to living a healthy and peace- ¿OOHGOLIH<RXUVSLULWXDOMRXUQH\PXVWLQFOXGHVKDGRZZRUN Origins of the Shadow Self The concept of a shadow self comes from psychology. Psychi- atrist Carl Jung, whose work focused on the unconscious human psyche, wrote about the idea LQWKH V+HEHOLHYHGWKDWRXUXQ - FRQVFLRXVLVPDGHXSRIGL̆ HUHQWOD\HUVRIRXUVHOYHVZKDWKHFDOOHG archetypes — XQLYHUVDOO\UHFRJQL]HGV\PEROVWKHPHVRUSDWWHUQV that are used as models or examples. These include the persona, the self, anima or animus, and the shadow self. Jung believed people have a shadow self to contrast their “light side,” or the side they present to the public. The shadow self refers to all of the wounded habits we have de- veloped since childhood — to feel loved and to be “seen” and accepted in our environments — that we are often unaware of. You can usually LGHQWLI\SLHFHVRI\RXUVKDGRZE\ORRNLQJDWWKHWKLQJV\RX¿QGXQDW - tractive or unpleasant about others. Your shadow self can harbor everything from intense embarrass- ment to bitter sadness to profound rage. Shadow work is the emotion- al, intellectual and spiritual work you do to get to know your whole self in all its messy glory. For many people, doing shadow work means ex- cavating our psyches to bring the parts of ourselves we’ve been hiding — even from ourselves — from the unconscious or repressed realms to the conscious. Working with your shadow self involves being gentle with it. Your VKDGRZ VLGH LV QRW ³EDG´ ,W LV QRW D YLOODLQ WR EH FRQTXHUHG ,W LV D VFDUHGDQJU\KXUWSDUWRI\RX0DQ\ZRXQGVOLYHZLWKLQ\RXUVKDGRZ self. Once you begin the process of understanding all parts of yourself, you begin to have more compassion for yourself and others, know- ing they, too, are often acting and reacting from their own shadows. Talking to yourself as if you were dealing with a very young child usu- ally helps to approach yourself with tenderness and compassion. ,JQRULQJ\RXUVKDGRZVHOIDQGUHIXVLQJWRGRWKHZRUNQHFHVVDU\WR uncover and befriend it only leads to sadness and the inability to grow
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What is Shadow Work? ,Q VKDGRZ ZRUN ZH KDYH WR VWDUW ZLWK VHOIDZDUHQHVV WR XQGHU - stand which parts of us are our authentic selves and which are habits we’ve developed to protect the true self from harm. To do this, you need to pay attention to what you do and what your true motives are EHKLQG\RXUDFWLRQV3D\DWWHQWLRQWRKRZ\RXVSHDNWRGL̆ HUHQWSHR - ple, how you speak to yourself in your head, and how your body reacts LQGL̆ HUHQWVLWXDWLRQV1RWLFHWKLQJVWKDWERWKHU\RXDERXWRWKHUSHR - SOHWKLQJVWKDWPDNH\RXUEORRGVWDUWWRERLO'RWKLVREVHUYDWLRQZLWK as little judgment as possible. Again, we are not trying to erase or get rid of our shadow self. The JRDOLVWRUHFRJQL]HLWHPEUDFHLWDQGKHDOLWVRLWHQKDQFHV\RXDQG allows you to respond with clarity and compassion in life’s situations. Think self-awareness and self-acceptance.
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PATHWAYS—Winter 22—15
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