MIND-BODY-SPIRIT
Decisions, All the Time Decisions!
BY REV. TRISH HALL
As humans we have no choice but to make decisions constantly about everything in our ever-changing world. We do not have the op- WLRQQRWWRFKDQJHRQO\KRZDQGZKHQZLWKRUZLWKRXWSDLQ+DYLQJ to make decisions is inescapable. We are constantly confronted with “choice points.” Options and alternatives such as food and clothing PD\ VHHP VLPSOH EXW IRU VRPH PD\ EH VWUHVVIXO 0DMRU GHFLVLRQV VXFKDVKHDOWK¿QDQFHVUHODWLRQVKLSDQGHPSOR\PHQWGHFLVLRQVFDQ EHRYHUZKHOPLQJ7RRPDQ\RSWLRQVPD\EHFRPHSDUDO\]LQJ$PXO - titude of choices can discombobulate even skilled decision makers depending on perspective: perceived level of control and context can become mind-boggling. ,I\RXDUHOLYLQJFLUFXPVWDQWLDOO\\RXFDQEHEX̆ HWHGE\FKDQJHVLQ your world so you bounce from reaction to reaction, each choice com- pounding your stress. A bit of self-examination can ease some tension. $VN\RXUVHOI³'R,PRYHWKURXJKP\GD\UHDFWLQJWRFLUFXPVWDQFHV"´ RU«³'R,GUDZRQP\LQQHUNQRZLQJ ZKLFK,FDOO6SLULWZLWKLQ WR assess what is going on and choose how to respond?” The need to dif- IHUHQWLDWH²DQGFKRRVH²EHWZHHQWKHVHSHUVSHFWLYHVFDQD̆ HFWERWK the quality sets and length of your life. 'HFLVLRQPDNLQJLVVDLGWREHDPHQWDODFWLYLW\ZLWKPHQWDOFRQVH - quences; however, because we are inextricably intertwined systems, whatever is occurring in our mental realm generates a somatic (body) response. Spirit (soul) is the constant we can draw on to reestablish our equilibrium. ,QGHFLVLYHQHVV LV D KDELW D YHU\ GDQJHURXV RQH WKDW WDNHV D YHU\ KHDY\WROO,WLVDSULPDU\FDXVHRIGHVWUHVV²WKHQHJDWLYHH[SHULHQFH of stress. This is the opposite of the eustress we experience when we eagerly dive into the challenge of accomplishing a goal. Extensive sci- HQWL¿FUHVHDUFKKDVEHHQFRQGXFWHGLQWRWKHSK\VLRORJLFDODQGSV\FKR - ORJLFDOH̆ HFWVRIVWUHVVLQFOXGLQJWKHGL̆ HUHQWLPSDFWVRIVKRUWWHUP and prolonged stress. Short-term intense stress causes anatomical re- sponses that pass swiftly allowing the body to restore itself. Long term stress, even low-grade stress, erodes the body’s ability to restore natu- ral rhythms. A constant state of brain excitation caused by indecision keeps the body on high alert preventing restorative rest cycles. &KDQJHUHVLOLHQFHUHVWVRQ³GHFLVLRQPDNLQJ´VNLOOV'HFLVLRQPDN - ing strategies can be learned. Every decision has the same basic el- ements: desired experience, alternatives, perceived impact, sense of control, fear of consequences. When we rely too heavily on external criteria, we get caught in the VZLUORIH̆ HFWVZKLFKDUHE\QDWXUHLQFRQVWDQWÀX[7KHFRPSOH[L - ties and lack of clarity of such situations and circumstances heighten VWUHVVOHYHOV)HDUDULVHV³:KDWLI,PDNHWKHZURQJFKRLFH"´3URFUDV - tination sets in, in hopes that the need to make a choice will just go DZD\7KHQFRPHVWKHUHDOL]DWLRQWKDWXOWLPDWHO\DGHFLVLRQZLOOKDYH to be made: the choice at hand or the decision not to make a decision, ERWKDUHGHFLVLRQV'HFLVLRQPDNLQJFDQQRWEHDYRLGHGRQO\GHIHUUHG Attempts to delay making decisions compound the negative aspects of stress. Anger seethes, whether expressed outwardly as resentment about being cornered into making a decision, or inwardly as a deep dive into a dark place of resignation claiming you have no power, no choice. 7UXWKLV«WKHUHLVDOZD\VFKRLFH,W¶VLQHVFDSDEOH The question then is, “What is the healthiest approach to deci- VLRQPDNLQJ"´,WEHJLQVE\UHZLULQJ\RXUEUDLQWRVHHNWKHVWDELOLW\RI \RXU³LQQHUNQRZHU´6SLULWZLWKLQUDWKHUWKDQEHLQJEX̆ HWHGDERXW by the chaotic, erratic world around us. Within each of us is our inner knower, an observer that can simul- taneously take in all that is going on and yet choose when and when
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not to engage with it. There is a place of stillness. We can choose to abide in the calm of that stillness in order to shift and broaden our perceptions. We do this by changing our vantage point, altering our SHUVSHFWLYH%\JURXQGLQJRXUVHOYHVLQWKHVWLOOQHVV LWWDNHVRQO\D moment), we have the opportunity to engage the power of intention and commit to our desired outcome. With conscious intention and SUDFWLFHZHEXLOGQHZKDELWV:H¿QGJUDFHDQGHDVHLQPDNLQJFKRLF - es based on our new ways of relating to decision-making. To reinforce the rewiring of our brains we consciously commit to transmuting our experiences. This requires we stay alert to when old habits raise their ugly heads. We stop the moment before we fall into a negative behavior (procrastination, stress eating, isolation, or end- OHVVO\VFUROOLQJWKURXJKRXUSKRQHV :HDVNRXUVHOYHV³,VWKLVP\ healthiest option?” Strengthen your “chooser.” Exercise Choice! When you feel the urge to escape from an uncomfortable feeling LQWR D GLVWUDFWLRQ IROORZ WKH GLUHFWLRQ RI WKH JUHDW SRHW 5XPL DQG ³'RQ¶WJREDFNWRVOHHS´ 6WD\DOHUWDQGFKRRVH\RXUQH[WWKRXJKW*LYH\RXUVHOIRSWLRQV)R - cus on: ł Something for which you’re grateful — no matter how small ł 6RPHWKLQJWKDWLVOLIHḊ UPLQJ ł Something that brings you joy Shift from simply thinking about these focuses to feeling them. Feel WKHJUDWLWXGHWKHMR\WKHOLIHIRUFHVXUJLQJZLWKLQ\RXWKHQ$)),50 ³,QRZHPEUDFHWKLVIHHOLQJ,WLVKHUHWRVWD\´ This approach to life … this way of relating to decision-making … can be learned, and as with any skill it requires conscious commitment WRUHSODFHROGKDELWVZLWKQHZOLIHḊ UPLQJRQHV³7RSRIPLQGDZDUH - ness” must be engaged to strengthen your “chooser” so your new way of being is expressed instantly, other-than-consciously. Since we are always at choice points, we can make choices that make decision-making easier. When we choose to see the world as one indivisible whole, our engagement with ourselves and others shifts. We can shift from being reactive – “being triggered” – to noting those occasions as reminders there is something within ourselves that needs WREHKHDOHGRULVFDOOLQJIRUIRUJLYHQHVV5DWKHUWKDQFKRRVLQJWRLP - pose negative judgments, we can opt to be curious about what old WKRXJKW PD\ EH OXUNLQJ DURXQG :KHQ ZH DUH SX]]OHG DERXW VRPH - RQH¶VDFWLRQVZHFDQLQYLWHFXULRVLW\WRVKLIWRXUSHUVSHFWLYH5DWKHU than immediately declaring how wrong they are, we can wonder how RXUSHUVSHFWLYHVFDQEHVRGL̆ HUHQW,QTXLUHDV/RYHRSHQLQJWROHDUQ - ing more rather than shutting down, judging and condemning. 'HFLGHWRJUDQWVSDFHDQGJUDFH²\RX¶OOOLYHDORQJHUKHDOWKLHUOLIH 5HY7ULVK+DOOLVDQLQWHUQDWLRQDOEHVWVHOOLQJDXWKRUDQGDFFODLPHGVSHDNHU6KH LVWKH6SLULWXDO/HDGHURI&HQWHUIRU6SLULWXDO/LYLQJ0HWURZKHUH\RXDUHHPSRZHUHG WROLYHWKHIXOOHVWH[SUHVVLRQRI\RX:HFRPHWRJHWKHULQ2QHQHVVFHOHEUDWHWKHXQLTXH - QHVVRIHDFKSHUVRQDQGLQYLWH\RXWR³EH\RXZLWKXV´ZZZFVOPHWURRUJ
PATHWAYS—Winter 22—29
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