(Why you’d want to lift two Teslas is another matter. And given what’s happened beneath some Teslas, such as fire, you should get the heck out from under there.) It gets better. Juicero purchasers soon discovered (they’re no dummies in Silicon Valley) that they could get juice directly from the Juicero pre-packaged fruits and vegetable by squeezing the packages with their hands . Maybe next Silicon Valley will discover they can get fruit and vegetable juice by popping open a can of V8. Then add vodka to make a Bloody Mary and drown their despair over having paid $400 for a juicer. Or perhaps Silicon
found fame go to his head, he should maybe read the positive reviews. Here’s an excerpt from a positive review posted right at the top: “... my parole officer won’t allow me to be around knives.” Smalt Are the Juicero juicer and the Hutzler banana slicer the most ridiculous new wrinkles ever in culinary equipment? Hah! Behold the Smalt, the “World’s First Interactive Smart Salt Dispenser.” The device looks like a pepper grinder in the Star Wars stormtrooper mess hall. Although, it won’t
... my parole officer won’t allow me to be around knives.
Valley will even discover that at Target they can buy an Oster blender for $19.50. The Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer
grind pepper. What it will do is create a computerized record of your salt intake, make a “conversation starter” centerpiece on your dinner table, provide
mood lighting for your dining room and background music via Bluetooth connection to Amazon’s “Alexa,” and, if you have the Smalt app, it will even put salt on your food “with a shake/pinch of your smartphone screen.” (To quote the promotional literature.) The Smalt (again, quoting the promotional literature) “will transform an ordinary kitchen tool that people have been using for centuries into a fun experience.” As Mom said when she swung the meat cleaver at Dad.
Steven inspected the other end of the useless stupidity price range and found this item for $5.99. As if a banana weren’t already the easiest thing to cut except a... (PJ’s comment) The Hutzler 571 has 3,676 positive reviews on Amazon, garnering an average rating of 4.4 out of 5 stars. However, before the CEO of the Hutzler Manufacturing Company lets the 571’s new-
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