“In 50 years, I will reminisce to my grandkids about olden times, when there was a single currency that you used to pay for food and rent and cloud storage and heroin and dentistry. ‘Wow, grandpa,’ they will say, ‘that sounds... actually really convenient?’” And finally, there’s Dave Barry, humorist nonpareil (French for “keep your adult diaper on, he’s that funny”). Dave says: “For many years, nobody ate chicken wings, and for good reason: They are inedible. They are essentially meat-free bones. You might as well chew on a plate of toenails. But one day a shrewd restaurant owner came up with the idea of serving the wings ‘Buffalo-style,’ which means ‘to people who have been drinking beer.’ It is a known fact that beer-drinkers will eat pretty much anything: Exhibit A is ‘Slim Jims.’ You could put a dish of salted mothballs in front of beer-drinkers, and they would snork them up. So chicken wings were an instant hit. “Today, ‘Buffalo-style’ chicken wings are served in restaurants all over the nation: The waitperson brings out a plate of bones, the customers gnaw on them for a while, and then the waitperson takes them back to the kitchen, where they’re run through the dishwasher and placed on a plate for the next set of customers to gnaw on. A restaurant can sell the same set of ‘Buffalo-style’ wings hundreds of times; this provides a big boost to the economy, and it is easier on the chickens.” Buffalo-Style Chicken Wings
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American Consequences | 35
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