T E X A R K A N A M A G A Z I N E
me I was about to die. It was like I was on the top of a building and I was leaning over the edge and someone had me by the shirt collar. I didn’t know if they would let me go or not. But I remember God saying to me, not audibly out loud, but deep inside, ‘I will catch you. And when you return, strengthen the brethren.’ God has used this crisis in my life to help people. I have accomplished more for God’s kingdom on this side of the struggle than I ever did before. It’s like He has super-charged me.” His final thoughts to anyone struggling with anxiety were powerfully simple, “Reach out to God. You can make it,” Miller assured. “The same God who helped me is the same God who can help you. He gave His Son, Jesus, to give you new life in Him. If He loved you that much, to give His own Son, He also loves you enough to help you through. It may not go away in an instant, but you can win this battle with God’s help.” Listening to his story, I had a flashback to the summer before eighth grade and the car ride home from my grandmother’s house when my mom told me she had been diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma, a bone cancer. I wish my 13-year-old self could have heard Pastor John’s words at that moment, but instead I bottled up my fears and thought I had to be strong in my own strength. Years passed, but the fear of losing someone close to me did not. Although life and death are a reality, not having control of when I’d lose people I loved was terrifying. ALLISON THOMAS Over the last decade, my husband Brad and I experienced loss together through four miscarriages, but we now have four healthy boys under our roof to protect and love. I had an immediate connection with my youngest son’s preschool teacher, Allison Thomas, especially when she shared she also had four boys—Wyatt (22), Hunter (21), Parker (19) and Matthew (16). However, I realized when she shared a photo on Facebook of her family standing in front of two tiny gravestones that two of her boys are in Heaven. “When my husband, Will, and I were pregnant with our first son, Wyatt,” Allison explained, “we were excited like any normal, first-time parents. The obstetric countdown
“ Anxiety is like a pot of boiling water. You have to take the lid off and remove it from the heat or it will overflow and leave you feeling helpless. Let your faith
overcome your fear. ”
—Allison Thomas
this hell and anguish would endure for the next five days. I would have to carry my dead child in utero until my body decided it was time to give him up.” Five days passed, and labor did not come, so Allison had to have a C-section. “He was born beautiful and perfect,” she said. “We still don’t know why God chose for Wyatt to live with Him for the rest of his life.” “Then three months later we got pregnant with Hunter, and he chose to come into this world in a blaze of glory at 24 weeks (gestation). He was only two pounds and lived in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) for four and a half months. He was on a respirator and had to have a trach (tracheostomy tube). One terrible day the nurse did a normal trach change like she did every day, and for reasons we don’t know, he went into respiratory distress. After half an hour of CPR, they were able to get a heartbeat. Unfortunately, the respiratory
had ended, and I had finally reached 40 weeks. I attended this appointment alone because it was supposed to be just a normal check-up. However, when the nurse called me back to the room and put the Doppler on to check for a fetal heartbeat, there was not one. She brought a new Doppler machine in and a more experienced nurse, only to get the same result. This was the moment that would change my world forever. This was the moment I knew that my baby was gone.” “I remember jumping off the table after the nurses left to get the doctor. I grabbed the telephone receiver off the wall, dialed my husband’s cell number, and waited for him to pick up. The moment I heard his voice, I began to yell, ‘HE’S DEAD!’ By the time I left the examining room and headed down the hall to the doctor’s office, my husband was walking in. I remember collapsing in his arms. I wanted to die that day and keep my baby with me forever. Little did I know,
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H E A L T H & W E L L N E S S
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