January 2022

T E X A R K A N A M A G A Z I N E

distress caused brain damage, and we were told he was brain dead. So, after 72 hours, we had to make the decision to say goodbye and take him off life support. My husband was so brave. When they took Hunter off the machine, Will rocked him until he went to be with Jesus. That’s how our story began.” Imagine with me the silence of the room after Allison finished this portion of her story. All of us were frozen, only moving to wipe away tears. I miscarried my pregnancies in the early weeks, but Will and Allison got to hold their babies, kiss their cheeks and count all their beautiful fingers and toes. As a mom, she experienced one of my greatest fears, losing the precious little people I had brought into this world. I could not imagine the difficulties of moving on from those experiences. Allison continued, “The first word that comes to mind when asked to describe my next two pregnancies with Parker and Matthew is FEAR. I couldn’t allow myself to feel excitement or joy. All I could think was, ‘What if they die too?’ Once they were born, the fear grew, and it was stronger. I now had a personal relationship with them. They were alive on earth, so the thought of losing them was even more frightening. I chose to be a stay-at-home mother so I could always be with them. I was their Sunday school teacher, scout leader, room mother. My theory was that nothing could ever happen to them as long as I was with them. I was their protector. When they reached 15, that was a whole other level of anxiety. I remember pulling in my driveway one day as a truck was pulling out. I asked my husband who that was, and he said, ‘Parker just left with some friends to go to a movie.’ I literally had an anxiety attack standing in the driveway. I wanted to run down the road chasing after the truck. I was the driver. I kept Parker alive by protecting him. The fear of loss came back up with a vengeance. I had to ‘get my mind right.’ I often say this to my boys. They both know how I lost their brothers, and I am very real in expressing my experience as well as my fears and anxiety that come with that loss. I told them they would have to have patience with me. I knew they had to grow up and have more freedom. I would give them that, but they would also have to allow me time to ‘get my mind right.’ We made a deal; first it was a 24-hour advance notice of their plans, and then as time went by, the advance notice requirement went away. But man, it was so hard letting go.” To think that this strong, beautiful woman has dealt with as much loss as she has and continues to battle daily with the anxiety and “what-ifs” baffles me, as each morning I drop my youngest off in her four-year-old class at Williams School. Her classroom is the happiest, most joyful room I have ever stepped foot in, and the smile on her face and joy she exudes daily is genuine. “Wyatt and Hunter sit beside God and watch me every day. I want them to be proud of me and say, ‘Look at my mom, she’s a rockstar.’ Now, every day I pour into these precious kids at school, and we are a family. I will protect them like they are my own, and through them, I get little ‘God-winks’ each day. I do my best to make my sons proud.” She closed by saying through her tears that “grief, loss and the anxiety that follows is a constant journey. I still have ‘first experiences’ waiting for me in years to come. The year they should graduate college, the year they should be married, birthdays, etc. It never ends. Again, you have to stop and ‘get your mind right.’

Chris Schroeder, Counseling Pastor at First Baptist Church Texarkana, holds a Masters of Pastoral Counseling Degree from Liberty University and is currently pursuing a Doctorate in Pastoral Counseling. I do not think there is as

much of a stigma today for Christians in reaching out for

mental health help as there was in the past. Reaching out for help is not viewed as much today as a lack of faith. The Christian church is still behind but growing in its understanding of mental health issues. The negative statements spoken, and lock downs implemented during the pandemic caused a great increase of individual anxiety in our society. Unfortunately, COVID has caused a great amount of sickness, loss, grief, depression and anxiety. We, as humans, were not created to live in a society full of fear. We were created to live in health and in community with one another, not in isolation.

I have several action steps to encourage

people who are struggling with anxiety. •

Help the individual change thought patterns. It is important to dispute negative thoughts and lies with the truth of scripture. Philippians 4:4-8 and Matthew 6:25-34 are great Bible passages I refer to often. Encourage the individual to focus on God. God wants us to trust and relinquish all fears to Him, especially through prayer. I believe anyone can experience peace. Watch for triggers which lead to anxiety. I assist the person in trying to minimize activities and input that induce anxiety.

• Encourage the person to move forward and take careful steps to face fears. I do not want them to be trapped by internal feelings of anxiety. • Assist the person in finding and developing relationships that are supportive and positive.

Encourage the individual to be patient. Growth takes time.

Focus on personal physical health. Proper diet and exercise are important for fighting anxiety. Also, necessary medication can be important for fighting anxiety.

I encourage all people to choose the best life possible. I do not want people to feel ashamed for feeling anxious. I want people to have hope and know that there are people who care and want to help. I believe that help comes from the physical, spiritual, emotional and relational components of an individual.

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H E A L T H & W E L L N E S S

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