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The Law Office of John M. Zenir
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June 2020
‘But You Don’t Know My Spouse’ How Understanding Emotion Can Impact Mindset
The summer heat recently got me thinking about my very first job. I was 17, and my buddy and I got hired at a local luncheonette and confectionary shop. For those who aren’t familiar with those terms, it was an ice cream parlor that also served simple meals like sandwiches. They were once quite common but are few and far between now. The shop was called Tiedemann’s, and every summer, the owner, Charlie Tiedemann, would take weekend vacations, leaving his shop under the management of two 17-year-old boys. We definitely took advantage of our position but didn’t get into any real mischief like you might assume. We always took care of the shop smoothly, and when we closed up for the night, we’d unlock the doors an hour later so our friends could join us for a long night full of ice cream, soda, jukebox music, and dancing. It was a time in my life I’ll never forget. My first job certainly taught me a sense of responsibility, but more importantly, it taught me the role that emotion plays in everything we do. Our customers were always the most pleasant people you could ask for because let’s be realistic: Who could ever be grumpy while ordering a chocolate sundae? The upbeat attitudes of the customers and the people I worked with were infectious, and that gave me valuable insight into how our emotions can shape our experiences. Fast forward to now when I have a career vastly different from working behind the counter at a confectionary shop. I now help people through some of the most difficult and heartbreaking family situations they can possibly face, and emotion plays a very different role in the job I do. In my line of work, I always hear the phrase “but you don’t know my spouse” from my clients. When we’re going through legal proceedings together, whether it’s a divorce or another family issue, there’s a period of time when the client runs through an entire gamut of emotions that are difficult to navigate, including stress, anger, and sadness. When they succumb to these emotions, they have a hard time believing the law is on their side or that the suggested lawful solution fits their particular situation. “But you don’t know my spouse” is the phrase they use to explain or justify why they’re feeling a certain way when it comes to how their case proceeds. And that’s not to say the range of emotions my clients feel isn’t justified; they have a right to feel how they feel because what they’re going through is incredibly emotional. The difference here is understanding how best to address and use our emotions.
It’s so important that we don’t let our emotions get in the way of achieving the things the law can provide. Even though not every situation is the same, the law is created to be a set of rules for everyone. Those general rules address concepts that are legally sufficient, not emotionally sufficient, and there’s a reason for that: so justice can be applied the same way to all. It can be incredibly hard to separate emotion from fact or circumstance. But if we can, we provide outcomes that will preserve our rights and create the best possible results. And when that happens, we often discover that the emotion that follows can be utilized in a much more productive way.
Joke of the Month
What’s the definition of mixed emotions?
When you see a lawyer backing off a cliff in your brand-new car.
-John M. Zenir
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ABOUT TO RETIRE? CONSIDER THESE LOW-RISK, HIGH-RETURN INVESTMENTS
As you age, it’s wise to make some changes in order to stay healthy, like your diet or your workout routine. Likewise, your portfolio should be adjusted to reduce risk and protect your financial health. After a bad turn in the market, it can take up to a decade to make your money back. If you want to retire in the next five years, then can you really afford that risk? Reducing your risk doesn’t necessarily mean missing out on high-return investments, though. Here are some low-risk, high-return investments to consider adding to your portfolio as you approach retirement. PEER-TO-PEER LENDING Otherwise known as P2P lending, this investment takes place online. Borrowers are matched with investors for loans that benefit both parties — lending without the bank. Your risk and potential returns depend entirely on which loans you choose to invest in. The two most popular P2P lending platforms are Lending Club and Prosper, and you can start investing in either platform with as little as $25. REAL ESTATE INVESTMENT TRUSTS When you invest in real estate investment trusts (REIT), you’re investing in mortgages or direct equity positions in various properties. When the stock market is in decline, REITs are a good investment because they’re not corrected with stock exchanges. Plus, their yield is usually higher than the dividends investors get from stocks.
FIXED INDEXED ANNUITIES When it comes to low-risk, high-return investments, fixed indexed annuities (FIA) are the most attractive option for retirees. In 2018, renowned economist professor Roger Ibbotson conducted research into the return history of inflation, U.S. Treasury bills, government bonds, FIAs, and stocks. Unsurprisingly, stocks offered the highest returns historically, but Ibbotson was surprised to find FIAs came in second, beating out bonds and conventional wisdom.
Historically, these investments have produced great returns for individuals who are in retirement or who are about to retire. However, remember that everyone’s circumstances are different. Before making any changes to your portfolio, talk to your financial planner about your options. TIMES THE OLYMPICSWERE CANCELED And the Postponement of the 2020 Tokyo Games
In late March, amid the global spread of COVID-19, the International Olympic Committee announced the postponement of the 2020 Olympic Games. They were slated to take place in Tokyo, Japan, this summer, but they will now happen in the summer of 2021. While this is an unprecedented decision, it’s not the first time that major global events have affected the Olympic Games or which countries participated. Since the inception of the modern Olympic Games in 1896, they have been outright canceled three times — 1916, 1940, and 1944. The first cancellation of the Olympic Games happened duringWorldWar I. The German Empire was supposed to host the games in Berlin, but by the time 1916 rolled around, Europe was deep in the trenches of WWI. Many nations had sent their athletes to fight in the war, so the games were canceled.
WorldWar II caused the next two cancellations. The 1940 Olympics were initially scheduled to be held in Tokyo. It would have been the first time the games were hosted by a non-Western country, but Japan forfeited the right to host when they invaded China in 1937. The games were then rebooked for Helsinki, Finland, but after Nazi Germany invaded Poland in 1939 and startedWWII, those games were scrapped as well. Since the fighting hadn’t ceased by the time the games were supposed to happen in Cortina d’Ampezzo, Italy, in 1944, the Olympics were canceled again. Though the Olympics have happened on schedule since the end of WWII, the United States has not always participated. In 1980, when the U.S. boycotted the Olympics that were held in Moscow, Russia, in protest of the Soviet Union’s invasion of Afghanistan, 64 other nations followed suit. However, those games still went on as planned and 80 countries participated. The fact that major global conflicts are the only other events that have been catastrophic enough to affect the Olympics might be distressing and elevate anxiety about our current global health crisis. However, it’s important to keep in mind that the Olympics have only been postponed this time, not canceled. We’ll still get to cheer on our favorite Olympians next year.
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TAKE A BREAK
TURN YOUR VACATION INTO A STAYCATION
3 Ways to Replace a Canceled Vacation
Vacations provide opportunities for families to spend time together in a relaxed environment, get away from the routines of everyday life, and create meaningful memories. If you’ve recently had to cancel a trip but still want to create the experience of a vacation for your family, then a staycation is just what you need. TRANSFORM YOUR BACKYARD When you’re trying to recreate a vacation, the outdoor areas of your home present a variety of possibilities. You can turn a sandbox into a relaxing beach, complete with a kiddie pool “ocean.” If you have trees, then set up a zip line or obstacle course. You can even stimulate summer brains with a scavenger hunt around the backyard with hidden clues in the dirt or bushes. The ultimate prize can be something you would have purchased on your original vacation, like a souvenir you can find online. CREATE A ‘FAMILY MUSEUM’ Many vacations include an educational aspect in order to enrich our understanding of the place we’re visiting, and museums are a great way to accomplish that. If you’re confined to the house, then teach your kids about your own knowledge and interests and encourage them to get creative and make their own contributions, too. Have everyone create art, take photos, or write about their prized possessions. Display these masterpieces around your home and let their creators take you on a tour. Learning more about one another builds meaningful bonds. BRING YOUR TRIP HOME You probably chose your original vacation destination in order to experience new and different cultures and activities. But just because you’re no longer traveling to that location doesn’t mean you can’t experience some of what it has to offer! Research popular local cuisine, activities, and history of the area, then create ways to experience them with your family. Cook a traditional meal, recreate a scenic location through photographs, or share a story about local lore and history. Your changed plans will no longer feel like a missed opportunity. Staying at home doesn’t mean your family can’t have the fun of a vacation. All it takes is a little creativity and innovation to build an experience that will bring your family closer together.
GRILLED BASIL CHICKEN AND TOMATOES
Inspired by TasteOfHome.com
You can’t go wrong with grilled chicken and tomatoes on a warm summer’s evening. It’s a simple recipe that packs a flavor punch.
Ingredients
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2 tbsp olive oil
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1/4 cup tightly packed fresh basil leaves
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1 clove garlic
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8 Roma tomatoes
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1/2 tsp salt
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4 boneless skinless chicken breast halves (4 oz each)
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3/4 cup balsamic vinegar
Directions
1. For marinade: In blender, combine olive oil, garlic, salt, vinegar, and basil. Cut 2 tomatoes into quarters and add to mixture. Cover and process until blended. Halve remaining tomatoes for grilling.
2. In bowl, combine chicken and 2/3 cup marinade. Cover and refrigerate for 1 hour. Reserve remaining marinade.
3. Heat grill to about 350–400 F. Lightly oil grates. Grill chicken until internal temperature reads 165 F, about 4–6 minutes per side. Grill tomatoes until lightly browned, about 2–4 minutes per side. Discard remaining marinade.
4. Serve chicken and tomatoes with reserved marinade.
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The Law Office of John M. Zenir
516-746-0180 JMZEsq.com
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INSIDE THIS ISSUE
1
Learning to Separate Emotion and Lawful Action
Best Investments for Retirees Have the Olympics Ever Been Postponed Before?
2
Grilled Basil Chicken and Tomatoes 3 Enriching Staycation Ideas
3
4
Help Local Nonprofits in Challenging Times
THE BEST WAYS TO HELP LOCAL NONPROFITS IN CHALLENGING TIMES
VOLUNTEER
Over the past several months, families, businesses, and nonprofits have had to navigate life in this challenging “new normal,” and it can be hard to support your favorite nonprofits when times are tough. Here are a few ways you can help these important entities, even when you don’t have resources to spare right now.
In a time of social distancing, volunteering may be discouraged, but nonprofits still need volunteers to operate. The good news is that many nonprofits need volunteers for positions that maintain social distance, such as driving. Food banks and kitchens need drivers to pick up donations or ingredients from donors and to deliver food to people in need, such as the elderly or those with disabilities.
DONATE
While many people donate generously during the holiday season, remember that nonprofits need donations throughout the year, and different nonprofits need different things. A monetary donation can often go a long way, but never feel obligated to give money, especially when your budget may be tight. Instead, consider cleaning out your closet. What clothes, shoes, or other accessories can you part with? What about dishware or small appliances? When you clean out your home and donate unused items, you benefit those in the community who need them most.
ADVOCATE
Even if you don’t have time or resources to give, you can become an advocate for important causes around your community. While it might not seem like much, sharing information about local nonprofits on social media can make a genuine difference. Nonprofits need exposure, which is greatly boosted through community support. Sharing useful information about nonprofits — or sharing their posts — increases their visibility so more people will take action.
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