by Heather Self


ave you heard the phrase “Your Vibe Attracts Your Tribe”? It’s just another way of saying the people you

cultivating the tribe YOU need. The biggest obstacle in connecting with your authentic self is understanding the correlation between authenticity and vulnerability. You can’t have one without the other. Vulnerability is not a weakness. The weakness can be identified as a conditioned thought process that allows us to believe our self-worth is based on what others think. The magic happens when you can set those fears aside and remember that everybody has a story; a lesson to teach and a lesson to learn. We have all felt shame, had self-limiting beliefs, and worried about the possibility of humiliation. We are all perfectly imperfect in the same way. Being vulnerable is a courageous act of showing up and being seen, regardless of the outcome. Vulnerability is our greatest measure of courage. Be courageous, challenge your own thoughts and actions to determine if they are authentic or adaptive and most importantly, be you. • This article is revised from “Lessons from Success to Significance: An Entrepreneur’s Guide” by Heather Self. She is offering free access to all her lessons on or by emailing “LESSONS” to Heather is a #1 Best Selling Author, professional speaker, and creator of Make-it-MatterWorkshops. As a successful real estate investor for 10 years, she has Co-Founded Self Capital Group, New Hope Senior Living, Emerald Creek Properties and the Backpacks for the Homeless Program. She lives near Nashville with her husband, entrepreneur Greg Self, and their four children.

surround yourself with are a reflection of who you are. If your goal is to build a better network and to cultivate your ideal tribe, it’s necessary to connect with your authentic self. You must let go of who you think you are supposed to be and begin to embrace who you truly are. We were molded as children by our parents, teachers, faith, peers, and society to "fit in." As a result, we developed beliefs, emotions, thoughts, and behaviors that kept us acting in the ways we were taught to act. This version of ourselves can be thought of as our adaptive self — the self that prioritizes fitting in, getting along, and generally doing what we're told. This self is not without value and purpose — it helps us to be functioning members of society. However, if you're feeling inauthentic, it’s time to recalibrate who you are and what you believe. There is no downside in showing up to any occasion as your true self. Not meshing with some people is bound to happen regardless. Some people will like you and some people won’t— that’s OK! Showing up as your authentic self will assist you in attracting the right people and repelling the wrong people. The only way to attract your tribe is to be more authentic. If you are pretending to be something or someone you’re not, then you will attract a tribe that is meant for someone else. Let them have who they need, and you focus on

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