NEXT AVENUE SPECIAL SECTION
When Friends Are Family By Randi Mazzella
Over the summer, my husband and I had a small party in honor of our oldest daughter's engagement. The celebration was at her Aunt Andrea and Uncle Spencer's house. Over the years, we have celebrated so many occasions, from holidays to birthdays, in their home, so this was a perfect spot to celebrate this happy event. Although my kids have always referred to Andrea and Spencer as their aunt and uncle, we are not related but we do share a special connection. It's friendship, but it is more than that. Blood-related or not, to us, in our hearts, we are the definition of family. Psychiatrist Gail Saltz, host of the “How Can I Help?” podcast, says, "Family is valuable. These relationships are long-standing and intimate. Positive family relationships can have both mental and physical health benefits." But while family can be wonderful, it can also be complicated. Not all families have positive, healthy relationships among their members.
Yvonne Ransel, 74, says, "I have so many close friends. Some I have known for over forty years, others I have met more recently, but the bonds are also very strong." Ransel has two siblings, but in many ways, she doesn't feel as connected to them as she does to her friends. Ransel explains, "I don't have as much in common with my siblings. I am the oldest of three. When I left home for college in another state, my younger sister was only 14 years old. We love each other but don't really know each other as adults."
"I don't have as much in common with my siblings."
This disconnect was evident when Ransel's husband died in 2021. She says, "My friends and neighbors were at my house immediately, bringing food and taking care of me. My brother and sister came a few days later. They had good intentions but just weren't sure what to do. They didn't help me in the same way that my friends did." Ransel plans to spend Christmas with her adult children, but for Thanksgiving, she will spend the day with close friends in her community. She says, "I plan to celebrate the holiday with friends in town who are like family. I am thankful that I have such wonderful friends."
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