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Notes From The Field
March 2025
818-369-7900 | 435-216-4444 | FieldLawPC.com
When the Worst Happens NAVIGATING GRIEF AND LOSS
As we go through life, all of us will face loss in a myriad of ways. For some, this comes in the form of losing a loved one — be that a spouse, parent, or child — while for others, it can look like the loss of their home, livelihood, or future. Even as the cause of our grief varies, so too do the ways it can impact us. There is no cure for the grief we will accrue, but we can learn to practice radical acceptance and empathy, allowing the grief to take its course. In my 20 years as an estate planning attorney, I have seen many shades of grief and the ways that people respond. Truthfully, there is no perfect way to deal with grief so it is less painful or passes more quickly. While I am not a licensed grief counselor, I want to share a few things I have learned in my experiences of grief, both firsthand and as an outsider. First, find people in your life who care for you and make space for the grief you are dealing with. It is common for bereaved individuals to isolate themselves because the grief feels consuming and it feels like no one can understand. While no one knows what your exact experience of loss is like, many people are capable of actively listening and empathizing with your situation. If you find yourself in this position and do not have any friends or family members to turn to, consider finding a grief support group in your community or connecting with a professional therapist. Though that task is daunting in and of itself, the reward of having companions in the journey of grief is immeasurable. Second, begin to practice radical acceptance when the harsh feelings bubble up to the surface. Often taught to patients of dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT), it is a distress tolerance skill designed to keep pain from turning into suffering. You can practice this tool by setting aside the urge to question why something terrible is happening, evaluating the events that have made the situation the way it is, and accepting that it is outside of your control. As you go through the five stages of grief, being able to recognize what is yours to work through and what is unchangeable begins to restore your sense of agency. Make space to accept the emotions that come up — anger, sadness, devastation, fear, etc. — and know that when you allow yourself to feel them, you are practicing care for yourself. Grief often comes out like a total loss of control and stability, but you don’t have to remain stuck in the nebulous whirlwind forever. Third, set aside comparisons and know that just as your love and hope were unique to you, so is your grief. It can be easy to think that when you start doing the “right” things, your grief will pass quickly,
and you will catch up to the same place as the people around you. But we know grief comes in waves and the urge to match someone else’s pace ultimately creates more hurt in an already excruciating time. It is more than okay to be frustrated with the ebb and flow of your grief, but do not turn that into anger at yourself for not getting through something as quickly as you wish. If someone you know is experiencing loss, consider how you can show them care in a way that is meaningful to them specifically. Set aside the platitudes and need to make everything okay, and know that the best thing you can be is present. We often find ourselves searching for the right words to offer, but no words will make their loss better. The most meaningful thing you can do is let them know you are with them and then refrain from “solving” when they trust you enough to talk about their grief. While there is no comprehensive guide to feeling better quickly, consider looking for further resources if you find yourself needing more support with any loss in your life. Most importantly, know that you are not alone in your devastation.
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BRAIN GAMES
SOLUTION
Planning for the Unthinkable Explore Funding Options and Pet Trusts
Determine the finances for the lifetime of your pet. How much is enough? First, do the math to figure out how much you spend caring for your pet now. Then, take that amount and project how long your pet is likely to live to determine a number. Also, consider reasonable compensation for the person caring for your pet. Life insurance and retirement plans are excellent financial sources for funding your pet’s lifetime care. Establish a pet trust and trustee. Unlike life insurance and retirement plans as funding sources, pet trusts legally shore up the financial obligations of caring for your pet. Ultimately, the money you leave the caretaker isn’t a lump sum they can spend anywhere; it provides accountability for how they spend it. Your caretaker can be the trustee, too, but it could create a conflict of interest. A professional trustee is probably best to ensure funds are distributed according to your wishes.
As a pet owner, the thought of your pets no longer being with you is something you don’t like thinking about. After all, you’ve had them their entire lives. Now, imagine the roles are reversed. What if something happens to you first, and you can no longer care for your pet? It’s a daunting thought, but pet estate planning is designed to ensure your pet is well taken care of in the event of your passing or incapacitation. Who will care for your pet? Before discussing the legal and financial aspects of pet planning, the first step is to consider who will get physical custody of your pet. Like planning for children, you must be comfortable with the caregiver. Have they interacted with your pets before? How do they treat their pets? Family and friends will likely be your go-to, but never assume they will take on the responsibility of your pet. Whomever you’re considering, be sure to have an intentional conversation with them about your wishes.
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When a disaster strikes, it’s not just your home and immediate family you need to protect; your furry family members also need you to keep them safe. By preparing for the unexpected and ensuring you have the right supplies, lines of communication, and arrangements, you can help reduce the stress and uncertainty for you and your furry companions. Get ready to be all paws on deck with these tips to keep your pets safe during emergencies. Be Purr-pared With a Plan Make sure you include your pet in your household’s overall emergency plan. You will avoid stressful scrambling at the last minute when a disaster occurs. If you need to evacuate, account for all pets so they don’t get hurt or lost in the chaos. Not all public shelters and hotels allow animals to stay, so determine a safe place to take them. It’s also important to assign a friend, neighbor, or family member to care for your pets if you cannot. If you have not microchipped your pet, now is a great time. Shelters can scan microchips to determine a lost animal’s home and owner’s contact information. Pack for Your Pets Create an emergency kit for your pets that includes supplies they need to survive a disaster. You should have a few days’ supply of food, water, and any medications your pet needs. Ensure you have a backup leash and collar and copies of your pet’s registration. Include grooming items and sanitation tools like pet litter and paper towels. Items like favorite toys or your pet’s blanket can comfort them in stressful situations like an evacuation. Travel-Ready Tails Make sure you are ready to transport your pet in a travel carrier quickly. Place their carrier open in an area your pet is comfortable with, like a favorite napping spot. You can add a familiar blanket and toy inside to reduce their stress and use treats to encourage them to go inside. Make a mental note of your pet’s behavior during stressful times so you know where their go-to hiding spots are. Keeping Pets Safe in Emergencies All Paws on Deck
TAKE A
BREAK
AQUAMARINE BASKETBALL BLUEBIRD CLOVER GREEN IDES LEPRECHAUN MADNESS
PISCES SPRING TANGERINE TULIP
Not Your Mom’s Corned Beef and Cabbage
Inspired by AllRecipes.com
Ingredients
• 1 (4 lb) corned beef brisket with spice packet • 3 qts water • 1 onion, quartered • 3 carrots, cut into large chunks
• 3 celery stalks,
cut into 2-inch pieces
• 1 tsp salt • 2 lbs red potatoes, halved • 1 small head of cabbage, cut into eighths
Directions 1. In a large pot or Dutch oven over medium-high heat, combine corned beef, spice packet contents, water, onions, carrots, celery, and salt. Bring to a simmer (skimming off any foam on top). 2. Cover pot, reduce to low heat, and let simmer for 3 hours until meat is fork tender. 3. Add potatoes to the pot and let simmer uncovered for 30 minutes or until potatoes are al dente. 4. Add cabbage along the edges of the meat and on top. Cover and let simmer until cabbage is tender, 20–30 minutes. 5. Place meat on a cutting board and let rest for 10–15 minutes. After meat has cooled, slice against the grain. 6. Add to a large serving bowl, ladle vegetables and broth over top, and serve.
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818-369-7900 435-216-4444 FieldLawPC.com
P.O. Box 8306 La Crescenta, CA 91224
PO Box 910760 St. George, UT 84791
INSIDE THIS ISSUE
Navigate Grief and Loss When the Worst Happens
Ensure Your Pet Is Cared For
Not Your Mom’s Corned Beef and Cabbage
Prep Your Pets for Disasters
How the DOL’s Final Rule Protects Retirement Investors
A NEW ERA FOR ERISA The Final Rule Transforms What It Means to Be a Fiduciary
For more than 14 years, the U.S. Department of Labor has been trying to determine a new definition of a “fiduciary” under the Employee Retirement Income Security Act (ERISA). A fiduciary provides investment advice for a fee to employee benefit plans. Under ERISA, someone is a fiduciary if they have control over managing
or using a plan’s assets, provide investment advice for a fee, and have responsibility for managing the plan. Since 1975, these discussions were only considered “investment advice” if they adhered to a five-part test. However, this past September, the Department of Labor released new regulations called the Final Rule that redefines what it means to be an investment advice fiduciary. With this recent change, the five-part test goes out the window. The Final Rule expands the definition of who can be considered a fiduciary. Someone is a fiduciary if they regularly provide investment recommendations and advice to retirement investors for a fee. That advice must be based on the investor’s needs and reflect expert judgment that serves the investor’s best interests. They must also state that they are acting as a fiduciary when giving advice;
however, if you’ve previously received one- time advice, that could now be considered fiduciary advice. That’s a lot of information to swallow, and by now, you’re probably wondering how this will affect the average person. In most cases, these changes will only affect those acting as fiduciary advisors and retirement investors, including participants, beneficiaries, IR owners (Ingersoll Rand Inc.), and anyone else involved with an ERISA plan. Through the Final Rule, you should receive better advice that puts your interests first, providing more transparency about recommendations and any fees involved. It should also create greater accountability for advisers, brokers, insurance agents, and anyone else acting as a fiduciary. All in all, this is a great change for those who interact with fiduciaries. You can rest assured knowing the advice you receive will benefit you and your investments.
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