C – Consequences Articulate the consequences or implications for you, them, the customer or the business if the behaviour or performance area continues: Here you could advise them of the potential consequences if this continues: If this behaviour with your colleagues continues there could be conflict with yourself and the team, uncomfortable working environment for all and reduced performance due to demotivation or you could take a coaching approach and ask: “What do you think the effects of this could be if it continues – for you/team/customer?” • This way you let them own their actions. all conversations are a great opportunity to take a coaching approach whether that is in general or when giving feedback – once you have delivered the clear feedback you can then go to coaching mode to get them to come up with the way forward. 3 simple questions to help performance conversations are: • What worked well? • What didn’t work so well? • What could you do differently next time? S – State This is about moving to solution/what needs to change – I suggest that Moving forward in future team meetings I still encourage you to contribute whilst allowing others to have their say and would like you to acknowledge their ideas. Just as with the ‘Describe’ element of the model, the purpose of this section is to leave the recipient in no doubt as to what needs to happen. Failure to give specifics will again lead to the opportunity for uncertainty and not be supportive in helping them to develop
D – Describe Describe the behaviour or performance area. Drawing their attention to the particular situation that has prompted you to give the feedback. Be specific E.g. When in the team meeting yesterday you continually spoke over your colleagues and were putting down their suggestions and ideas and abruptly said ‘I don’t know why you think that would work’ Can you remember this meeting? Beginning your feedback in this way allows the recipient to be really clear about the circumstances that have led to the discussion. It may well be that they will recognise and acknowledge what you are about to discuss – which means that they are far more likely to buy into what you are about to say E – Explain Explain how the behaviour or performance made you feel/expression of your emotion: I felt very uncomfortable at the time and I didn’t feel that it was the right time to raise this with you as there were many uncomfortable looks around the room. (I statement so you own it) “This made me think/feel…” - Expressing how it made you feel (as opposed to anyone else) does not allow the recipient to argue. Giving specific suggestions for how to improve the situation may also help neurodivergent colleagues understand how their actions were perceived.
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