THINK YOUR FAMILY IS CRAZY?
TRY THANKSGIVING WITH ONE OF THESE FAMILIES
Some families spend Thanksgiving tossing the football around, stuffing themselves full of turkey, and expressing gratitude. For the rest of us, we plan our survival tactics months ahead of time or pack a few extra bottles of Grandma’s ol’ cough medicine. If you think your family is nuts, here are three real-life examples of just how crazy Thanksgiving can get for some.
The categories were muddled under slurred words, but this did not detract from the result. When he turned to his twin brother’s wife — my mom — a brawl broke out that spilled onto the street. With a glass of wine in her hand, my mom finished the argument with, “I give that fight a 10 out of 10” and locked them all out of the house.
‘RON WEASLEY? YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS?’
‘NO ONE GETS DINNER!’
When my family came together for Thanksgiving for the first time after five years, the day went great — that is, until someone brought up Harry Potter. What originated as a simple exchange of opinions turned into a heated family fight over who was the better hypothetical long-term fit for Hermione. This, of course, escalated into everyone bringing up deep- seated issues they’ve held onto for years. It ended with half the family storming out, and it took months for us to see each other again.
When my husband and I were dating, we went to his parents’ house for our first holiday together. His mom started the day off by calling me his ex-girlfriend’s name. I took it in stride but needed a moment in the guest room to regroup. My future sister-in-law came in and saw me upset. She stormed out to her mom and explained the situation, but her mom did not take it well. They burst into a full-fledged argument, and my mother-in-law cranked the heat on the oven to 500 degrees and stormed out the house. No one got Thanksgiving dinner, but we did get married a year later. Should your Thanksgiving turn into a complete disaster that requires legal expertise, reach out to us. We have an expansive network of experts to plug into, and they can settle any issue under the sun. Except maybe who Hermione should’ve ended up with.
‘I GIVE DEBBIE A SOLID 6.5’
My uncle had a few too many adult beverages and decided to use
Thanksgiving as a platform to deliver what he felt was a necessary speech. He stood up and rated of all his brothers’ wives on a scale of 1–10.
S U D O K U
A SIMPLE BRINE FOR SUCCULENT TURKEY
INGREDIENTS
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3/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons kosher salt
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2 large sprigs thyme
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3/4 cup sugar
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2 bay leaves
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1 carrot, peeled and diced
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1 tablespoon black peppercorns
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1 large onion, peeled and diced
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1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
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1/4 cup celery, diced
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1/4 teaspoon fennel seeds (optional)
DIRECTIONS
1. In a large stock pot, bring salt, sugar, and 4 cups water to a boil. Stir until all ingredients are dissolved. 2. Turn off heat and add remaining ingredients. Place brine in the fridge, uncovered, until cold. 3. Add 6 quarts cold water to brine. Add turkey and submerge completely. Brine chilled for up to 72 hours.
Inspired by Bon Appétit magazine
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