BY BETH MT.
In sober circles, we often talk about the chains When I was drinking, I would wake up every morning and pray that today would be the day that I stopped drinking for good. To make myself feel better about drinking too much the night before, I would announce to my husband, “I am stopping drinking, I mean it this time.” To which he would wearily nod his head, having heard this a million times before. My optimism that this would be my last hangover would help me through the crushing anxiety, the horror and the regret from the night before. I would dutifully re-set my drinking app to yet another Day One, and be relieved that I was finally going to stop this horrible cycle.
By lunchtime, I would be feeling slightly better. Perhaps still a little sick and tired, but I would start chatting to myself. I mean: it wasn’t as if I needed to drink on a morning, was it? It wasn’t like I drank every single day; it wasn’t like I had ever had a DUI or lost a relationship over my alcohol consumption. Perhaps I am just being a tad dramatic here. By dinner time, the conversation would continue; what about if I just had a couple of glasses of wine tonight? It might make me feel better. Also, it’s a sunny day and it’s so nice to sit in the garden with a drink. Also, next week I have a party where everyone will be expecting me to drink, so it’s pointless stopping today. Perhaps I could still stop, just not today.
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