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t My Crash Course in Sibling Dynamics
What It’s Like to Be an Only Child and Raise 4 Kids
If you want proof that God has a sense of humor, just look at my kids. I grew up as an only child, and today, I’m raising four children — all of whom regularly prove that I have no idea what it’s like to have a sibling. In honor of National Siblings Day on April 10, I thought I would write an ode to my life as an only child and the lessons I learn every day as the dad of four siblings.
enough to have Lindsay just three years after Chase, and we agreed we were done having kids. Two years later, though, Jamie got pregnant with Caleb, our youngest. I have never experienced anything like this in my life. Only children are not prepared to raise siblings and to fully grasp their dynamics. Jamie — who is her parents’ only daughter and has two brothers — and my clients assure me that the pestering, the arguing, and the full-blown fights are totally normal, but I’ll never understand why they annoy each other just because they can! It’s like they are equipped with a manual that outlines everything their sibling hates, and they actively seek to do just that! Why?! To be fair, there are great moments that as a dad I will cherish forever. A perfect example occurred just this past spring when all of my kids took up running. That was actually Connor’s sport when he was in high school. (He’s finishing his first year in college this year.) It’s been so cool to see all of my kids participate in something together, and it’s been heartwarming to hear Connor cheer on his siblings and offer them advice. When it comes down to it, my kids support one another, and I’m grateful to have had that experience with my cousins, too. Those are some of my greatest memories, and if what I’m told is correct, my children will have some pretty great stories to share when they’re older — both about the fights and the good times.
As many only children say, I’ve only ever known this life as a sibling-less kid, but that doesn’t mean I never yearned for one. I was born in North Carolina, but my dad was in the Navy. That meant we moved a lot, including to Iceland for a stint when I was in kindergarten. When I was in the fourth grade we moved to Jacksonville. We were particularly close with my mom’s family, and because there were so many of us, I always had a cousin to play with, even after we ended up moving to Florida.
In fact, I like to consider three of my cousins like my siblings. We spent our summers, holiday vacations, and any free time we could get together! We made memories as siblings do, and I always looked up to them like they were my brothers and sister. Yet, they didn’t live with me and my parents down in Jacksonville. There were times when I was lonely and wished I had a sibling, but I did become very close to my parents. I had a strong relationship with them throughout my childhood, which isn’t something every kid can say. Today, they’re enjoying retirement in Jacksonville, and while we don’t get to see them as much, I can honestly say that I’m happy with not having to share my parents with any other kid. That’s what makes my life today so interesting. When we got married, my wife, Jamie, had a five-year plan. We were going to have two kids and that was it! But after two boys, Connor and Chase, we both agreed that we wanted a little girl. We were lucky
–Mike Hill
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APRIL 2021
Up in Flames The Fyre Festival’s Legal Fallout for Influencers Influencer marketing has long been a legal gray area, but
The local economy was devastated. “They had engaged with so much of the local community to try and pull this off. There were hundreds of day laborers working,” says Smith. “Fyre had such a high profile that I don’t think anyone could have assumed that it wouldn’t work out.” As the Fyre Festival fell apart, Gregory Messer — the trustee in charge of overseeing the bankruptcy for Fyre Media — looked into the finances. He began to suspect that there had been “fraudulent transfers” between the founders and many of the event’s promoters, and he began to sue the celebrities and influencers that drove the hype behind the festival. For example, McFarland and Ja Rule reportedly paid Kendall Jenner over $275,000 to publish an Instagram post promoting the festival. Although Jenner denied liability, she did not disclose on the post that it was paid and sponsored. Messer’s attorney further argued that Jenner had not told her Instagram followers that she’d pulled out of the festival after learning of its disastrous problems. Although more legal parameters will likely spring up in the future to further define the limits of influencer marketing, this will certainly make any celebrity think twice about accepting money to promote events and brands. And that’s definitely for the best! Do all estate plans go to probate? Yes, but the severity of probate can be managed. For example, when you die without a will or valid estate plan, the state courts determine that you have died “intestate,” which means the state will decide how your assets are managed. This can often include a long, complicated, and costly court process. A legally established will drafted by an experienced estate planning attorney can ensure your wishes are met, safeguards are put in place, and the time your estate spends in probate is very minimal. What is a power of attorney? There are two durable power of attorney designations. A durable financial power of attorney gives someone you trust the power to make financial decisions for you should you become incapacitated and unable to do so. A durable medical power of attorney can act on your behalf when health-related decisions need to be made in that same instance. These are powerful designations, so it’s important to have honest conversations with those you choose to fill these roles. If your loved ones have additional complex questions about your estate plan, we can help explain. Call our office today to learn more.
recently settled celebrity lawsuits related to the Fyre Festival — a failed luxury musical festival — have definitely added some color to the debate. The idea for the Fyre Festival came from rapper Ja Rule and his business partner Billy McFarland, a 25-year-old CEO of a luxury concierge service. The duo created the event together and touted it as the world’s most expensive music festival. They’d also launched an attractive marketing campaign which included celebrity promotions by Kendall Jenner, Bella Hadid, and other influencers. All the while, the organizers knew the Fyre Festival was doomed from the start. In lieu of a multiday, luxury experience, thousands of people were scammed and left stranded in the Bahamas instead. “[The organizers] had six to eight weeks to pull off something that should have taken close to a year,” says Chris Smith, who directed a Netflix documentary on the festival. “But what was most surprising to me was going to the Bahamas and seeing the aftermath of what was left behind and the effect on the people there.”
n a n c i a l L i t e r
As a member of the Sheppard Law Firm family, you are leagues ahead of many Americans. According to a Caring.com survey, only about 32% of Americans have an estate plan. That figure is down about 24% from 2017 survey results done by the same organization. (In 2017, AARP found similar numbers.) While that number is shocking, it should be comforting to know that you and your family are protected. However, this statistic could mean the very heirs you hope to leave in charge of your estate — or to bequeath your assets to — will have no clue how to utilize them or what this means! April is Financial Literacy Month, making it the perfect time for you to discuss this with your loved ones. Below are three questions to get you started. What’s the difference between a will and a trust? A will outlines how you would like your assets to be managed and distributed after you die. (A living will functions similarly though it’s used if you become incapacitated but are still alive.) Meanwhile, trusts allow you to distribute your assets to your beneficiaries before or after your death. There are multiple forms of trusts, including those that can be used for charitable giving. Teach Your Heirs About Your Estate
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Need aNewRoute? This month, we return to a classic. Attorney Craig Hersch offers an option to those who may want to consider provisions in their estate plan should circumstances change after their death. Learn more in this condensed version of his 2017 “Sanibel Island Sun” column “Recalculating.” The entire column — plus many, many others — can be found at FloridaEstatePlanning.com. Your Estate Plan Can Change Even After Your Death
Since you are dead, you can’t change the provisions of your will, right? While you can’t change your will, you can embed a “power of appointment” to your spouse to allow them to change it. You can limit the power in a way that they can’t leave your estate to a new spouse they remarry, but you can allow them to change how much or in what manner your children eventually receive their inheritance. There is a danger with leaving a power of appointment, however. Your spouse could disinherit one of your intended beneficiaries for almost any reason, including a reason that you may consider frivolous. So when granting a power of appointment, have a conversation about your expectations with the appointee and discuss your wishes with your estate planning attorney.
Coming up on a fork in the road, I asked my wife, Patti, “Should we take the left fork or the right fork?” “How should I know?” Patti responds. I decide to go right. “Recalculating,” Ms. Garmin states in her soothing GPS voice. It turns out to be a wrong turn that takes us longer to get to where we are heading. Despite the frustration of taking a wrong turn, I find it amazing when technology can help you correct a driving mistake. Believe it or not, you can gear up your estate plan to “recalculate” if you make a mistake as well.
Suppose your estate plan leaves your assets in a continuing trust that benefits your spouse for the rest of their life. You can name your spouse as their own trustee so they don’t have to turn to a bank or trust company to receive income or assets. At your spouse’s death, your trust is then distributed to your children in equal shares. But what happens if one of your children has made poor choices that don’t warrant them to receive an inheritance or at least control their own share? What if the distribution to grandchildren in the document would trigger a generation- skipping tax that can be avoided? What if there are income tax issues that can be cleaned up?
Spring Vegetable and Chicken Pasta Bake
Inspired by TheSeasonedMom.com
Celebrate spring with this easy, tasty, herb-packed pasta bake.
INGREDIENTS:
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1 cup cooked chicken, diced
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1 1/2 cups uncooked penne pasta
1 3/4 cups chicken broth
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1 14-oz can artichokes, drained and quartered 1 cup fresh asparagus pieces 1/2 cup carrots, grated
1/2 cup fresh chives, chopped and divided
• 1/4 cup fresh parsley, chopped and divided • 2 tsp minced garlic • 1/4 tsp salt • 1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese, divided
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DIRECTIONS: 1. Preheat oven to 425 F and grease an 8-inch square baking dish with cooking spray. 2. In the prepared dish, stir together cooked chicken, artichokes, asparagus, carrots, uncooked pasta, chicken broth, half the chives, half the parsley, garlic, salt, and 2 tbsp Parmesan. 3. Cover the dish tightly with foil and bake for 35 minutes. 4. Uncover and stir. At this point, check the pasta to make sure it is al dente. If it’s undercooked, cover the dish and return to the oven until pasta is tender. 5. Remove from oven and garnish with remaining Parmesan, chives, and parsley.
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INSIDE this issue
From Only Child to Father of 4....................1 The Fyre Festival’s Legal Fallout for Influencers.................................................2 Teach Your Heirs About Your Estate Before You Pass....................................................2 ‘Recalculating’ Your Estate Plan After You Pass....................................................3 Spring Vegetable and Chicken Pasta Bake ................................................3 How Lulu the Pig Saved Her Owner From a Heart Attack. .............................................4
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M a Lulu the Pot-Bellied Pig’s Cunning Plan to Save Her Owner
According to animal experts, pigs are smarter than any other domestic animal, including cats and dogs. That may seem hard to believe, as you probably associate pigs with a pink, smelly animal that oinks and rolls around in the muck. However, the story of how Lulu the pot-bellied pig saved her owner’s life might persuade you to reconsider. Back in 1998 (otherwise this story would have certainly gone viral), Lulu the pig was a permanent fixture at Jo Ann and Jack Altsman’s property in Beaver Falls, Pennsylvania. They had initially only taken Lulu from her original owner, the Altsmans’ daughter, for a temporary stay, but they ended up bonding with Lulu, and she was with them for much longer than expected. On Aug. 4, Jo Ann suffered from a heart attack. Jack was out of town on a fishing trip, and even though Jo Ann cried for help and even threw an alarm clock out the window, no one heard her cries from their somewhat secluded home. The family’s dog, Bear, barked and barked to no avail. Lulu, however, knew Jo Ann needed help quickly and waddled into action.
Lulu made her way to the nearest road, scraping her skin in the process and leaving it torn and bleeding. Once she reached the road, she laid down as if to play dead. Not long after that, a passing driver saw Lulu and stopped to check on her. Once Lulu was sure she had the driver’s attention, she got up and waddled back toward her home, leading the driver to where Jo Ann lay on the floor. When the driver found Jo Ann, he immediately called 911, and emergency services took her to a medical center for open-heart surgery. Had just 15 more minutes passed without help, Jo Ann would have died.
For her heroism, Lulu received the Tiffany gold hero’s medal from the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals and made multiple television appearances as her fame spread. Hopefully, she
was smart enough to know just how much she was appreciated.
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