Deeper Than Roses Celebrating a Lifelong Friendship
It’s February again. For most people, this month means romantic dinners, roses, and cards from significant others. But for many years of my life, I was a single mother, and my focus
was split between school or work and my daughter. I didn’t have a partner, at least not in the traditional sense. But I did have my friend Nanci. Nanci and I have known each other since kindergarten. Growing up, we shared everything — our families, toys, and secrets. In middle school, Nanci and I shared the same bad decisions, too, like putting lightener in our hair and destroying otherwise good jeans (see picture above for jeans I cut that were once whole!). We were terrible mall rats, rocking our Bart Simpson T-shirts and rolled-up Levi’s. Especially in our younger years, Nanci and I were inseparable. We’d always update each other on the small details of our lives, and even though we would see each other in school, we spent every night talking on the phone long past when we should have been in bed.
a crazy, drug-addled check-in call, but Nanci made sure her parents called me and I was so glad to hear from her and that she was okay. Like so many of the hurdles in our lives, we helped each other through it. Growing up, I spent so much time over at Nanci’s house that this year, when she lost two of her uncles, I was heartbroken. I was sad for Nanci, of course, but I was also sad for myself. I had my own memories of her uncles to grieve. And when my father died unexpectedly at just 60 years old, Nanci was there to grieve with me and guide me through it. Traditionally, Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate romantic love. But there are so many more kinds of love that can enrich and sustain you through the seasons of your life: There is family love, and there is the love you have with your friends who are so close they might as well be family. This year, on Valentine’s Day, make some time to appreciate the full spectrum of love that has supported you through the years. I know I will.
When the world was hard, Nanci and I could always help each other find a bright spot or share a laugh. After middle school, Nanci’s family had to leave Wyoming for work, but we always kept up over the phone. In fact, my first paycheck frommy first job (at Kentucky Fried Chicken) had to go to pay the long-distance bill the month after she left! Eventually, she came back, and we attended the University ofWyoming together. I was delighted. In college, Nanci and I loved taking ourselves out for Valentine’s Day. We’d go to a white tablecloth restaurant and complain about all the folks who didn’t have good enough hearts to appreciate us. Thanks to Nanci, I never felt the absence of a romantic partner on Valentine’s Day. Instead, we shared a celebration of our friendship. I felt supported and lucky. Like any long relationships, we have had our share of challenges. In early December 1992, Nanci was badly injured in a car accident and required hospitalization. While she was getting care, I was in the hospital too with the birth of my daughter. We spoke by phone and it was
THE 7 HAZARDS TO YOUR ESTATE PLAN
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