Unpleasant and terrible fears associat ed with mind and for long periods of time I was caught up in closed cycles of temporary insanity and terrible vast worlds of unreality. challenging and financially rewarding but always with a note o f disappointment. There must he more to life than this, I thought. • Believing moral standards were relative, I lived experimentally the philosophy, “ Eat, drink, and be merry, fo r tomorrow we die.” I wrestled with guilt, becoming more frustrated and discouraged, aware o f decreasing happiness and isolation from others. Following the advice o f a Jewish friend, fo r two and a half years I invested in psychoanalysis as a means o f finding myself, only to discover I was a prisoner o f the past unable to change my basic nature and behavior patterns. Sensing deep inner mysteries in the uncon scious mind, I became interested in the religions o f the world and began to explore and to seek religious experience and spiritual awakening. Yet I came to see that religious truths were also relative and quite unable to bring peace o f mind. With little motivation to live in a meaningless world governed by the laws o f chance, I accepted an invitation to church from concerned Christian friends. It was there that I began to discover the Bible fo r the first time and became acquainted with the deep, rich insights given by this remarkable document o f human history and textbook o f life. In a pastor's office not long afterwards, I made the exciting scientific discovery o f meetin'g Jesus Christ, the God o f the Bible, in personal experience. The pastor had explained God’s love and plan fo r salvation, and when he invited me to receive Jesus Christ by faith into my heart, I realized that God surely must have been the missing element in my life. With a flood o f light and healing love, I was spiritually born and began a whole new life in Christ. It was here that new life began. But gradually during the next few months, foolishly I began to wonder about other religions and how they fit in with the Bible. I was also in trigued at reports o f religious experiences result ing from controversial new drugs such as LSD,
mescaline, and psilocybin. Troubled by persisting emotional and psychological conflicts, I decided to try the LSD experience with an experimental re search group o f doctors and psychologists. A fter several preparatory sessions with car- bogen gas (which produces momentarily an an esthetic effect), I was ready fo r my session with a massive dose o f LSD and mescaline. A male psychologist and female medical doctor were pres ent in the comfortable living room setting o f the research clinic fo r my all-day trip to LSD-land. Shortly after taking the drugs, I began to ex perience heightened audio and visual perception. Background music became ecstatically alive and full o f living richness. The musical instruments be came spatially deep and vividly alive inside o f me. Vivid color patterns and phantasies in three di mensions filled my mind when I closed my eyes, and with open eyes I perceived the objects in the room with amazing depth, clarity and a shimmer ing, crystalline glow. Gradually I lost awareness o f my body and seemed to be pulled ever deeper downwards into the past and into myself. Strange emotional experiences and long forgotten dreams bubbled up inside. I had the feeling that I was outside myself from a new perspective, looking into thousands o f corri dors o f my life as i f I were a whole universe in miniature. A t times I seemed to be a vast cathedral. I was aware o f history and the past as neither gone nor inaccessible. Time became strangely dis torted and I even experienced the terrible sensa tion o f time stoppage and endless eternity. Unpleasant and terrible fears associated with conception, birth, and early childhood gripped my mind and fo r painfully long periods o f time I was caught up in closed cycles o f temporary insanity and terrible vast worlds o f unreality. The environ ment around me became strangely alive and haunt- ingly familiar. Strange forces and powers seemed to seethe
THE KING'S BUSINESS
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