reminds. “And it’s okay if it doesn’t feel magical at first. Be honest about your own feelings, too, even the ones that feel messy or ‘wrong.’” 3. EXPECT BEHAVIOR TO BE COMMUNICATION. Challenging behaviors aren’t just likely—they’re normal. “Many children who have been in foster care haven’t experienced consistent adult care or structure,” Nancy explains. “They’ve learned that the world isn’t safe and that relying on others leads to pain. Acting out can be a protective measure. Each placement chips away at their trust.” She notes that children may start out with what’s often called a “honeymoon period”—appearing calm and compliant only to unravel as their guard comes down. Traditional parent- ing methods may not work and can even escalate things. Trauma-informed support is essential. Nancy also offers this heads-up: Not everyone in your circle will understand. Friends or extended family might distance themselves, especially if they don’t grasp
why parenting looks different now. “Love, even when it’s not reciprocated, is a commitment,” she says. “You’re loving a child through their fear. That’s no small thing.” ROLLER COASTER LOVE STORY My daughter is now 24. Those 15 years since bringing her to a new home flew by. It has been the most terrifying and delightful roller coaster imaginable. It’s been harder than I imagined, and often painful. Still, I’d choose being her mother again and again, even in the most difficult moments. It's also been filled with so much love, joy, learning, healing, and growth— for both of us. Foster care and adoption aren’t fairy tales. They’re love stories written in real time, messy, brave, and beautiful. Creating a true sense of home for a child who’s lived through instability means letting go of perfection, embracing repair, and remem- bering that safety is built, not assumed. If you're on this journey, know this: You're not alone. And you don’t have to get it all right to be exactly what your child needs.
LOCAL RESOURCES Beacon House Adoption Services beaconhouseadoption.com
Brave Heart Children in Need braveheartchildren.org
Catholic Charities of the Diocese of Baton Rouge | Adoption and Maternity adoptccdiobr.org Department of Children & Family Services dcfs.louisiana.gov
National Youth Advocate Program nyap.org
St. Elizabeth Foundation stelizabethfoundation.org
Uplift Adoption Network upliftadoption.com
BRPARENTS.COM | NOVEMBER2025
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