Atlanta Divorce Law Group - February 2019

Our Team Explores the Feelings Associated With the Pinnacle Romance Holiday A REAL PERSPECTIVE OF VALENTINE’S DAY

February 2019

As millions of people all over the world scour busy stores for teddy bears, chocolates, and heart-covered greeting cards this Valentine’s Day, our team can’t help but think of our recently divorced clients. For those who are facing Valentine’s Day freshly single, it can amplify feelings of stress and loneliness because on the surface, this holiday serves as a glaring reminder of the so-called failure of a relationship. In fact, even our clients who are the most confident about their choice to separate often find themselves feeling nostalgic on Valentine’s Day, remembering only highlights of their marriage rather than the rocky reality that led to its ending. As divorce attorneys, we are all here to assure you there is no “right” way to feel about your new status this Valentine’s Day. It’s fine if you feel pain, and it’s great if you don’t. But all in all, you just need to remember that it’s your own process and journey. Many of you know that several of our team members are divorced themselves, and even within our office, there are multiple approaches to Valentine’s Day. Take, for example, these two amazing women who have their own divorce stories. One of our team members, who has navigated three Valentine’s Days since her divorce, has a rather positive approach to the holiday. Here’s how she explains it: “If I’m being perfectly honest, I hated Valentine’s Day growing up. I was always single, so I looked around at all these couples and felt frustrated. But I’ve grown in the past few years. The first Valentine’s Day after my marriage was difficult because it was the first time I felt really alone since the split. But in the years since, I’ve just been working on adjusting and finding my new normal. I now view the holiday as a positive event. I’ve realized that it’s not just about celebrating the love of a couple. It’s about celebrating love and support of family members and friends.” Similar to our first team member, the second one we interviewed is also spending her Valentine’s Day single, but she has both a different story and a unique approach. She and her first husband divorced, and then she

met her second husband, a man she describes as “the true love of her life.” Unfortunately, he passed away three years ago from cancer, and his passing drastically changed the way she views Valentine’s Day. This is her insight:

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“Spending this holiday as a widow has been completely different than spending it as a divorcee. Following divorce, there are feelings like anger, hurt, excitement, and freedom— all of which fuel your desire to move forward. Being widowed brings about different feelings. My second husband was a total romantic. The entire first year we dated, he sent flowers to my office every week. Now that he’s gone, I feel his absence every day. But on Valentine’s Day, an event so drenched in romance, his absence is amplified. So I’ve come to really despise the holiday itself. While I feel loved by my friends, family, and daughter and appreciate their support so much, this day will always make me think of my relationship, which will inevitably make me feel sad.” As you can see, both of these team members share vastly different opinions regarding the holiday, and both are equally valid. Your experiences will shape your feelings about Valentine’s Day, too, especially if you are still trying to become comfortable with the idea of being single. For those of you going through the process for the first time, know that our team members’ hearts are with you this month. Whether you like Valentine’s Day or think it’s awful, sometimes you just have to allow yourself to fully experience your emotions. Regardless of your stance, know that we’re here for you.

–Sara Khaki

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Introducing Your Kids to Your New Partner HOW TO DATE AS A SINGLE PARENT

Whether you’ve been divorced for two years or 10, getting comfortable with the idea of re-entering the dating pool can be somewhat scary. This is especially true for parents whose primary concern, both during and after their divorce, is the well- being of their children. But even those who truly believe they’ll never get married again typically find someone who makes them want to experience the pleasures of love and intimacy at a time much sooner than they thought possible. With the sweet fumes of Valentine’s Day filling the air this month, you might find yourself pondering the possibility of re-entering the dating pool or taking your new relationship post-marriage to another level by introducing your partner to your children. For lots of divorced parents, this idea bears a lot of weight, which is why our team would like to offer some tips for you to keep in mind. 1. IDEA BEFORE PERSON Be honest about your feelings and help your kids understand why you have been spending time with someone new. Talk to them about feeling lonely and explain how you are ready to establish a

relationship with someone new. Introduce them to the idea of someone new before planning the actual introduction.

2. SHORT AND SWEET Keep the first meeting short and low-key by going to a neutral location like a restaurant or park. Give your kids a couple options and ask where they’d like to go. If your partner has children, try to avoid inviting them to join until after a few visits. 3. TIMING IS KEY Kids need time to grieve the loss of their family unit. They may be dealing with a new house or a new school, and they are learning to navigate custody rights and visitation, as well. It is of utmost importance to give your kids a chance to adapt to their new “normal” before introducing an unfamiliar partner. 4. RATE IT PG When the timing is right and you do introduce your new partner to your kids, keep it friendly at first. This means no PDA or sleepovers! Kids need time to adjust to the idea of you being with someone other than their other parent, as well as time to understand that your new relationship is not going to change their relationship with you.

Break the Monotony of Overplayed Board Games! FAMILY GAME NIGHT

ONE NIGHT WEREWOLF Every night, werewolves prowl around the village, and it’s up to the villagers to find the werewolf once the sun rises — before it’s too late. Each person plays a unique role with different abilities to help find or conceal the werewolf. If the werewolf is caught, the villagers win the game, but if the werewolf manages to escape, the villagers lose. Now you can bring some exciting variety into your family game nights. Don’t miss out on these excellent tabletop games, and most importantly, have fun!

Family game night is a time when a family can forget about all of life’s commitments and bond over a good old-fashioned board game. But the old, tattered Monopoly box or worn-out UNO cards can leave something to be desired, and the classics might be getting a little dull. If you’re tired of playing the same board games over and over, it might be time to start looking for ways to change things up. Here are four tabletop games you might not have heard of that are perfect for spicing up family game night. MYSTERIUM Your family will love delving into this cooperative murder mystery game that is a mixture of Clue and Dixit. You can play as the ghost or as one of the mediums who enters the haunting. The ghost player gives each medium a clue or vision about a potential murderer, and the mediums have to guess which person, room, or weapon was used to murder the ghost player. After each turn, the ghost reveals whether each of the mediums’ guesses are right or not. If all of the

mediums succeed in guessing correctly by the seventh in-game hour, they work together to find the true murderer.

LASER CHESS A classic game of chess is a great way to

spend an evening, and it just got a little more interesting. Laser chess includes all the problem- solving skills a typical chess game offers but with a twist. At the end of each turn, a player fires a small laser beam that bounces off the mirrored chess pieces. If it hits the non-mirrored surface of a piece, that piece is taken by the player. A player wins when the opposing player’s king piece is illuminated. CATAN Welcome to the island of Catan! After a long voyage at sea, the people in your expedition compete against other seafarers in building settlements. Enjoy the 45–90-minute game as you and your family build roads, barter resources, and race for absolute supremacy on Catan.

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THE VALUE OF HONESTY

What We Can Learn From ‘Honest Abe’

While Valentine’s Day tends to inspire the bulk of the hype in February, several other holidays hold immense historical significance. One of those days falls on Feb. 12, which marks the birth of Abraham Lincoln, the 16th president of the United States. While Lincoln is remembered for a great number of his efforts as the leader of our country, one of his characteristics that stood out most was his honesty, ultimately earning him the eternal nickname “Honest Abe.” To commemorate Honest Abe’s birthday and legacy, our team here at Atlanta Divorce Law Group wants to take this opportunity to talk about the importance of honesty in relationships. In any kind of relationship, whether it’s with friends, family members, or a spouse, the vast majority of people know that mutual honesty is necessary in order to preserve each party’s trust and the relationship’s longevity. But in people’s haste to point fingers at their partner’s mistakes, they often overlook the significance of being honest with themselves. People are fine alluding to another’s shortcomings, but when it comes to admitting their own hard truths, they often find a way to wholly ignore them or sugarcoat CHECK OUT Happily Ever After “My experience with the team at Atlanta Divorce Law Group was extremely positive. They were quick to respond to emails and answered any questions I had. After almost a year of the “pro se” approach due to my previous representation not accomplishing anything, I decided to work with Atlanta Divorce Law Group and was not disappointed. My case was finalized in less than two months after the initial consultation! Having had previous representation to compare my experience against, Atlanta Divorce Law Group was nothing like my last one. I definitely recommend them, and depending on the circumstances, I may even use them again soon!”

them into a trait that is easier to stomach. For some reason, inner honesty and self-reflection seem to be two of the most difficult concepts plaguing modern relationships. There is one reason that so many people find themselves either feeling miserable in a marriage or eventually seeking a divorce. They engaged in a relationship they shouldn’t have been in because they weren’t honest with themselves about who they were and what they wanted or needed from a partner. Don’t run away from the truths that lie within. Peer inward and decide which parts of yourself you like and need to embrace and which parts you might want to work on and improve. Once you know who you are and what you are looking for in a relationship, you’ll avoid treating your marriage like a mere facade of happiness. You’ll prevent your marriage from becoming resentful or destructive, because you’ll cease putting the responsibility of your shortcomings onto another person. No one else can achieve happiness for you; you have to find that for yourself, and it all starts by being honest.

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–Greg Shoen

ADLG WINS AVVO 2018 CLIENT CHOICE AWARD Here at Atlanta Divorce Law Group, we know that a highly respected team makes all the difference for clients! Due to our team members’ collective hard work and attention to our clients’ needs, we’ve been fortunate to receive the AVVO Clients’ Choice Award for the last two years. The number one predictor of our success is happy clients, and to that end, we are proud to announce that, once again, we won the AVVO Client Choice Award for Divorce and Child Custody for our client satisfaction ratings in 2018! 3 678-203-9893

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Inside This Issue

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The Feelings Associated With the Pinnacle Romance Holiday

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How to Date as a Single Parent

Bring Variety to Family Game Night

What We Can Learn From ‘Honest Abe’

Check Out Happily Ever After

All About Chocolate

What You Didn’t Know About Chocolate Fun Facts to Wow Your Loved Ones This Valentine’s Day

Chocolate is a treat savored by people all over the world. What we know as the sweet, creamy decadence that sustains Valentine’s Day actually has greater historical and cultural significance. Fermented chocolate drinks have been dated back to as early as 350 B.C. The Aztecs believed it was the beverage of wisdom, and the Mayans saw it as something to be worshipped. While the history of chocolate is as rich as its flavor, there are some common misconceptions about the treat.

refers to a specific chocolate-making process that uses the cocoa press. Before Dutch chemist and chocolate-maker C.J. van Houten invented the machine in 1828, chocolate was only used in beverages. Dutch chocolate is chocolate that has been modified with an alkalizing agent in order to produce a milder flavor, making it a fantastic option for use in baked goods, candy, and ice cream. German chocolate actually has nothing to do with the country of Germany, either. It used to be called “German’s chocolate,” named after its inventor, Sam German, an American who made

sweet chocolate for baking. Adding sugar to the chocolate made it a go-to option for bakers around the world, and the base for German chocolate cake was born. For chocolate to be classified as Swiss, it has to be made in Switzerland, as chocolate-making is considered an art form in the country. Known for its “melt in your mouth” quality, Swiss chocolate uses condensed milk to add a velvety texture. Many chocolate makers outside of Switzerland will refer to their interpretations of Swiss chocolate as milk chocolate instead.

Dutch chocolate doesn’t necessarily refer to chocolate made in the Netherlands; the name

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