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FREEDOM IS THE BEST VERDICT HELPING WOMEN FIND THEIR WAY BACK TO THEMSELVES
Imagine that today is opposite day. All the years you may have spent believing the words of an abusive or controlling husband stop here. Even though your instincts have been overridden and your voice silenced in your relationship up to this point, imagine today that everything he is saying isn’t true and not in your best interest. As a family law attorney, I often encourage clients to think about this. Many of the people and children I represent are coming to me during a difficult moment in their lives. It’s tough to have a clear mindset when you have so many emotions you’re going through in the divorce process. Divorce really is like a death, something you mourn, so I believe emotions and legal strategy can go hand in hand. I always do my very best to understand the emotions of every person in the room, while trying to reroute them toward the best legal plan. I was always drawn to the justice system and how it affects people’s lives. Once I became a paralegal at a family law firm, I realized just how much this field helps people, and I knew I wanted to become a family lawyer. Bruce Law Firm stood out to me because of its intentional focus geared toward helping women escape from abusive, manipulative
relationships and the harm they’ve been through in their marriages. While many firms just provide a service, we provide something people can carry with them for life. Knowledge is power, and my philosophy in practicing law is to ensure clients are educated at every step, no matter how grueling the process may be. Honestly, my clients probably get sick of all my emails and talks that can last for two hours while I fully explain everything. When you have all the information in your toolkit, you can make better decisions. At the end of the day, clients need to know what they are walking into, the best route to achieve their goals, and that I’m here to listen. No one ever thinks they’ll get divorced. So, I try to build as much trust as possible with clients and truly represent their best interests. I want them to know the reason behind the strategy in their case. Regardless of the outcome of a case, I hope to make my clients feel heard because it’s hard to put yourself out there. While I’m not a therapist, I am an active listener and want to make people feel safe and respected. Sometimes, success in a case is a verdict, but most of the time, it’s not. In family law, there is never a clear winner at the end, because everyone will face big changes regardless of the verdict. To me, success is when someone regains their freedom. No matter what a judge rules, freedom is the greatest verdict any of these women can attain. Everyone has their own wants and needs, but nothing beats the power of returning to who you really are. Outside the firm, I feel that sense of freedom when traveling or reading a good book. I typically read one or two a week. I have two dogs and a wonderful fiancé, so any waking moment I’m not at work, you will find me enjoying time with them. As a lawyer, there’s nothing more rewarding to me than helping people get to the other side of an unhappy relationship and equipping them with the tools to do so. No matter where you are in the journey, that freedom you completely deserve is possible. I’m here to help you reach it. –Samantha Severino
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Long before Frodo was having second breakfast in the Shire, real-life “hobbits” were leaving footprints on human history. Homo floresiensis was one of the last surviving humans, alongside our own species, Homo sapiens. Standing a little over 3 feet tall, these petite people got by on their home island by hunting and gathering with advanced tools. Their small skeletons were discovered in 2003 in a remote cave, but much of their story remains a mystery. A STUNNING SURPRISE When an Indonesian-Australian research team explored the Liang Bua cave on the island of Flores, Indonesia, they discovered the remains of a miniature human-like creature. At first, they estimated these beings lived out their lives 12,000–74,000 years ago. As scientists have learned more about them, it is clear that the remains are older, dating back between 60,000 and 100,000 years. In total, they have found the partial skeleton of a female and fragments of at least 13 other hobbits. SMALL SURVIVORS Along with their height, Homo floresiensis had particularly short legs compared to their longer arms and large feet. Tools found with their fossils suggest they hunted Komodo dragons, giant rats, and other small mammals. Due to the wear on their teeth, researchers think they ate plenty of nutritious plants that required a lot of chewing. Without any signs of burials or other ceremonies, it’s difficult to say what their culture was like. MINI MYSTERIES So, where exactly did this teeny tribe come from? It’s still a mini mystery! Early theories speculated that they evolved from another ancient human species that shrank over time after arriving on Flores due to island dwarfism. With limited resources, their bodies grew smaller. In 2016, the theory that they were from another human species gained traction. Pocket-Size Prehistory THE REAL-LIFE HOBBITS OF FLORES
WHEN YOUR PAYCHECK STOPS FEELING LIKE YOURS
THE SUBTLE SIGNS OF FINANCIAL ABUSE
Money can be a source of security, independence, and stability, but in the wrong hands, it can also become a powerful tool for control. When your partner controls the money, limits your access to funds, or tries to stand in the way of you managing your own budget, it may be a sign of financial abuse and manipulation. COVERT TACTICS The sneaky tactics of financial control are often presented as responsible steps or care, but are actually ploys to make you dependent on your partner. This may mean your spouse insists on making all the major money decisions or keeps a close eye on your spending. They might even give you a small “allowance.” It could also be that they are subtly whittling away at your income or earning potential. It’s not uncommon for an abuser to try to convince their partner to quit their job, telling them that they need to spend more time taking care of their family. If you find yourself anxious to make purchases without their approval, it may be your gut telling you something is off. HIDDEN ASSETS Especially for couples who are anticipating a divorce, an abusive partner’s financial habits may change drastically. They may go to great lengths to start hiding away assets where you can’t find or benefit from them. This often happens through transfers to secret accounts or even by gifting money to friends or family. Patterns to watch out for include large sums of money disappearing from shared accounts, drastically different spending habits from your partner, or reduced activity on shared credit cards or other traceable accounts. LASTING HARM When the person you should be able to trust starts controlling your access to money, they are trying to control your freedom. Not only does it cause feelings of shame, dependence, and a lack of stability, but it can also cause lasting repercussions for your finances. You may be dealing with damaged credit, job loss, money-related fears, or even isolation after being excluded from financial decision-making.
Jaw bones discovered just outside the cave are even smaller and older. They likely traveled from Africa to the island, a long journey they couldn’t have swum, so it’s possible they were swept up in a tsunami before settling on the island. While they may have been small in stature, the hobbit people left behind oversized questions about our past. Unlike the characters many of us imagine in a fictional world, these tiny humans are grounded in science, not Middle-earth.
Is your friend or client married to a controlling, manipulative, narcissistic husband?
OUR BOOKS CAN HELP!
The book can be downloaded for FREE at DivorceInformationBooks.com
If you are noticing any signs of financial exploitation in your relationship, it may be a sign to make a change and contact a skilled divorce lawyer. Contact us today if you need help.
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RECOGNIZING SENSORY OVERLOAD IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP WHEN LOVE FEELS LOUD
Sometimes, it’s not the conversation or relationship that is overwhelming; it’s everything happening around it. A blaring TV, a busy store, bright lights, or even a light touch at the wrong moment can cause sensory overload, especially for neurodivergent people. When the brain gets overstimulated, it can make communication feel nearly impossible. If your romantic partner is neurodivergent or easily overwhelmed by their environment, they may need a little space and understanding. RECOGNIZE THE SIGNS Sensory overload is a reaction of the nervous system. Those who have autism or ADHD process sensations differently and may tense up emotionally when faced with
too many stimuli at once. It can also happen to anyone. In relationships, this can often be misinterpreted. A partner who is experiencing sensory overload may pull back, shut down, tire out, become irritable, or exhibit physical signs such as a clenched jaw or reduced eye contact. UNDERSTAND THE PATTERNS Relationships themselves can naturally add to the stressors on an already sensitive nervous system. Moods can change even in stable relationship, shared homes can have a lot of clutter or competing noises, emotions can feel extra loud, and arguments can happen. When partners have different regulation styles, it can create a loop of conflict and disconnection. One partner pulling away can be misread as a lack of care or anger, when they are really seeking a chance to regulate. CREATE SHARED SOLUTIONS If you or your partner gets overloaded easily, creating a system that helps both of you reach a state of mind where you can approach a conversation clearly can strengthen the relationship. In the moment, it may mean eliminating some distractions, using a 1–10 scale to describe how overwhelmed you are, and agreeing to put things on pause for a set amount of time to regroup. Even a small buffer time of 30 minutes after each person returns from work can help reduce potential sensory overloads. If you want to learn more about sensory overload in your relationship, visit our YouTube channel at YouTube.com/@Divorce.brucelawfirm for our recent interview with Dr. Clara Bossie of Wisely Wellness, LLC.
Have a Laugh!
SLOW COOKER CHILI
INGREDIENTS • 2 lbs lean ground beef • 1 large onion, diced • 4 garlic cloves, minced • 2 tbsp chili powder • 2 tsp cumin powder • 1 tsp garlic powder • 1 tsp dried oregano • 1 1/2 tsp fine sea salt
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1/2 tsp black pepper
1 15-oz can black beans, drained and rinsed 1 15-oz can kidney beans, drained and rinsed 1 30-oz can diced tomatoes, with juice 1 10-oz can diced tomatoes and green chilis, with juice
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1 15-oz can tomato sauce
DIRECTIONS 1. In a large skillet over medium-high heat, sauté beef until it releases fat (4–5 minutes), breaking it up with a spatula. 2. Add onion and sauté until tender (4–5 minutes). 3. Add minced garlic and seasonings. 4. Cook another 30 seconds, stirring constantly. 5. Transfer to a 6-qt slow cooker, and add remaining ingredients. 6. Stir to combine and cook on high for 3–4 hours or on low for 6–8 hours. 7. Season to taste if desired and serve warm.
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PRST STD US POSTAGE PAID BOISE, ID PERMIT 411
1601 Forum Pl. Ste. 1101 West Palm Beach, FL 33401
Why Knowledge Is Power in Divorce page 1
Meet Humanity’s Little Cousins
Money Manipulations page 2
It’s Not You, It’s Overstimulation
Slow Cooker Chili page 3
Where Your Money Goes When You’re Not Paying Attention page 4
STOP LETTING SMALL PURCHASES WIN YOUR BUDGET ISN’T BROKEN, IT’S LEAKING
All of us have been there. After a long day, you realize there’s nothing planned for dinner. A quick stop at the grocery store turns into a larger purchase because you can’t quite remember what’s already at home. Later that evening, you’re relaxing on the couch when an online deal catches your attention. It seems inexpensive enough, so you click “buy now” without giving it much thought. That’s what makes everyday spending so tough to manage. The decision shows up when you are least interested in being disciplined. You aren’t thinking about your monthly budget; you’re thinking about getting through the next hour with a little less hassle. The good news is that getting this type of spending under control is manageable with a little planning. NOTICE THE MOMENTS THAT COST YOU Wrangling your excess spending doesn’t require a detailed spreadsheet listing every purchase. Often, it just requires paying attention. Start by noticing when
you spend money without much thought. For a lot of us, it’s all tied to timing.
create a clear stopping point. Once the money set aside for that category is gone, you’re done until the following week. Getting your spending under control doesn’t mean removing every treat from your life. That usually makes it more challenging to stick to your plan. A better approach is to give yourself some room for fun spending while making the unplanned purchases a little harder to justify.
Maybe takeout becomes the go-to dinner option after long workdays or grocery trips get much more expensive when you shop without a list. Maybe online shopping is the problem. Once you identify the pattern, you can do a few things to make it harder to repeat. TURN AWARENESS INTO BETTER CHOICES The best fixes are usually simple. If shopping without a list keeps costing you, try keeping a running list on your phone. If online purchases are the issue, delete the app or let items sit in the cart for a few days before checking out. A little distance can make something feel less urgent. It also helps to change how you look at the price. A $100 purchase may feel different when you think about how many hours you had to work to pay for it. For flexible spending, cash or a weekly limit can
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