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WisconsinChristianNews.com
Volume 25, Issue 3
A Godly Marriage
By Dallas Henry June 2024
munion with Him through the reading of His Word and through prayer and fellow- ship with others of the household of faith. By so doing, you will grow in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ (2 Peter 3: 18).
Without respect marriage partners feel devalued. That devaluation causes cold- ness toward one another. (1 Peter 2:17). Now, if it is true that one respects what one values, then it can be expected that a husband and wife, will show respect to each other. The goal is to first of all choose to value one’s spouse, then to learn how to show him or her respect in a way he or she will understand and appreciate. Financial Trust and Transparency. Entrust your finance to the Lord, for it is He who gives you the power to get wealth (Deuteronomy 8:18). Establish a mutual trust in money mat- ters. From the onset, decide whether you wish to pool your resources in a joint bank account or keep a separate account so that you can use freely as you see fit. Keep in mind that whatever you possess comes from God, the Giver of every good and perfect gift (James 1: 17). Most frequently, difficulties arise in fam- ily finances because two persons, with dif- ferent sets of financial values, and different attitudes towards money, can very readily disagree on how money is to be used. What one regards as a luxury, the other may consider a necessity. Selflessness and Commitment to Sexual Intimacy. Give your body freely for sexual inti- macy by always desiring to please the other partner. Sex is not a reward you give for well doing, neither is it a punishment you ad- minister for wrongdoing. If you must ex- cuse yourself, let it be with sincere apologies. Enforce the bond of marriage because it is the gracious design of God, the Orig- inator of marriage, that the couple remain faithful to each other and to God whatever their circumstances of life.
Also, because of the example of Jesus on the Cross, and our own experience of the forgiveness of God in our relationship with Him, there is no limit to God’s forgive- ness and so in our dealings with each other, there must be no limit to forgive- ness.
My wife, Myrna, and I were married 63 years ago at St. John’s Lutheran Church, in Montpelier, Ohio. It was a wonderful day that I will never forget! My wife went to be with the Lord in March of 2017, so I have lived without her for a number of years, which has been difficult. We were together 55 years, 9 months, and 4 days! God gave us 3 awesome children! The keys to a godly and joyful marriage are found in the Bible. When its instruc- tions are obeyed, God will bless the union. Always remember that God, our Heav- enly Father, is the designer and originator of marriage. He is the One who has es- tablished this institution for the entire human race. Our Lord Himself graced the occasion by His presence at the wedding in Cana of Galilee (Luke 2). Marriage is a serious business, which must not be entered into “unadvisedly or lightly; but reverently, discreetly, advis- edly, soberly, and in the fear of God. Marriage is duly considered as the union of two lives, and the fusion of two hearts. It involves a social union, a domestic union, a physical union and a spiritual union. The path of true love never runs smoothly. We must realize that there are no perfect marriages because two imper- fect people, with personality defects, sin- ners saved by grace, are living under the same roof not just for some years but until death separates them. Hence, in marriage, there is a daily process of accommodating each other, and a daily process of keeping up and making up. God intends marriage to be enjoyed and not to be endured by the couple. Even though two imperfect persons are living together, yet with Christ in the center of their hearts and home, there can be peace and harmony that is difficult to ex- plain or understand. The following are some of the keys to a Godly and Joyful Marriage: The Spirit of Forgiveness. A forgiving spirit is an important key in the marriage relationship because we are commanded by God to forgive others.
Set your priorities right. Give God first place in your life; first place with your
Effect an early reconciliation in any mis-
understanding or quarrel. In such case, always remember that because we are human, seldom is husband or wife com- pletely right or wrong. A forgiving spirit is, therefore, necessary on both sides to re- solve any conflict. It requires a spirit of hu- mility, of loving submission to each other and together submitting to the Lord. Spiritual Compatibility: How can two walk together if they are not compatible spiritually? (Amos 3:3; 2 Corinthians 6:14). Many marriages have been dissolved because this important injunction has not been obeyed. It is in accordance with the Word of God and His will to marry in the Lord. This is the most important key, for a godly and successful marriage. Establish your own home as soon as pos- sible because marriage involves “leaving and cleaving” (Genesis 2:24). No matter how nice and understanding your in-laws may be, “familiarity breeds contempt.” Even with the best of inten- tions on both parties for their mutual wel- fare, they can sometimes be misconstrued as unnecessary interfer- ence. You should also endeavor to keep cer- tain family matters private and within the confines of your newly established home.
time; first place with your talents; and first place with your treasure.
When you seek God first in anything pertaining to His kingdom and righteous- ness, all that you need will be provided for. When you honor Him, He will honor you. (Matthew 6:33). Wholehearted Trust. A healthy marriage cannot be built and sustained without trust. Trust toward one another is vital. Marital trust has three basic levels. Each of these levels is weighted in importance.
The first level is that of fidelity.
A married person must be able to trust that his or her spouse will remain faithful in the marriage. God placed such an im- portance on this area of trust in marriage that He made not committing adultery one of the Ten Commandments.
The second level of trust is that of hon- esty.
Be Faithful and Committed to Scriptural Standards.
A husband or wife should be able to trust that his or her partner will be honest. A spouse must be honest about who they are, what they’re feeling and thinking, and about their successes and failures. There should be no hiding from one another. They should be able to trust each other to tell the truth.
Be aware that God has His standard of operations for both partners in marriage and be willing to operate by it at all costs. Edify each other by communicating and demonstrating God’s love at home and in public. The husband should love his wife with the same selfless and sacrificial love that Christ has so demonstrated on the Cross. The wife is to respond in the same manner. The will of God and instructions for a godly and successful marriage are found in the Word of God which is a lamp unto your feet and a light unto your path (Psalm 119:105). But it cannot be a blessing to your mar- riage if you do not act and work upon it to achieve what God, the Originator of mar- riage, has so designed for and desired of you, working out to His own glory and honor.
Commitment to Spiritual Growth. One key evidence of a successful mar-
The third level of trust has to do with be- haviors.
riage is that the marriage brings you closer to God than when you were sin- gle. Encourage each other in your walk with the Lord for mutual edification, keeping in close com-
A husband or wife generally wants to trust that his or her spouse will behave in certain ways toward him or her. One wants to trust the other to meet needs, to treat with respect, to be patient and to consider him or her in daily activities. Great Respect, Honor and Value. Respect is the way a person treats something he or she values. If something is highly valued, a person will treat it with honor and dignity. One does not mistreat it or discard it.
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