Check out the latest edition of our newsletter!
FROM STRESS TO STRENGTH STRATEGIES FOR IMPROVING MENTAL HEALTH EVERY DAY
You can check out Christopher’s series of mental health interviews with local therapists at youtube.com/@Divorce. brucelawfirm/videos .
We believe that mental health matters.
to Develop the Mindset to Move on from a Toxic Relationship, among others. Through his research, interviews, and conversations with various mental health professionals in the community, he has seen just how vital emotional well-being really is. When it comes to matters of the heart, our mental health often hangs in the balance. Love, loss, and major life changes, like divorce, can take a deep emotional toll, affecting everything from our daily functioning to our self-worth. The end of a marriage isn’t just a legal or logistical shift; it’s a profound experience that can bring stress, guilt, grief, and fear. Studies have found that people who are divorced report higher levels of anxiety, depression, and social isolation. What’s more, they are at a higher risk of chronic health conditions like heart disease, cancer, and even mobility issues. The link between mental health concerns and physical symptoms is well-documented. On the flip side of that, many people can go through a divorce and experience an improvement in their emotional well-being as they leave behind toxic relationships and start building healthy habits. By focusing on self-care, seeking professional guidance, and creating a strong support circle, you can overcome the mental blocks and live a more positive, fulfilled life. While mental health is essential in our work, we also value a positive mindset at home. Every morning before school, we distribute positivity stickers to the children that feature motivational sayings and affirmations. These little reminders adorn their uniforms so they never forget to be kind, stay strong, and look on the bright side. We continue that messaging at home, where positive
Over the years, we have learned so much about the importance of mental health and well-being in everyday life. Whether you are going through a challenging process like divorce, have a high- stress job, or are just trying to balance the hustle and bustle of life, how you treat yourself plays a crucial role in your overall health. Christopher has conducted extensive interviews with therapists on a wide range of mental health topics, gaining valuable insight from experts in the field. On his podcast, he’s explored concepts such as Redirecting Children’s Behavior and Parenting Confidently, Dealing with Trauma Effectively, How to Handle Infidelity, Healing from Parental Alienation and Other Traumas, and How
sayings like “Anything is possible” and “Do your best today” are literally posted in every room.
When one of the kids gets down or in a dull mood, we work with them to identify their feelings, reassure them that it is OK to feel this way, explore the reasons for their feelings, and discuss ways to deal with those emotions. We even have the “Feelings Wheel” on our fridge to remind us that happy, mad, fearful, sad, calm, and strong feelings are normal. It is important to work with kids from a young age on their emotions and mindset. May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and it’s the perfect time to start building positive habits for yourself and your family. Whether you use a feelings wheel with your children, journal, begin therapy, or simply take relaxing strolls after a long day, your mental health is worth nurturing. If you do one thing for your mental health this May, what will it be? We wish you positivity this month and always. –Ashley and Christopher Bruce
561-810-0170 • 1
Monsters have always been prominent in popular culture. Looking back through history — long before today’s iconic monsters — people had vivid and often bizarre ways of describing the monsters of their folklore. These strange creatures that time forgot may not haunt our collective imaginations today, but their names and stories provide a fascinating glimpse into the fears of the past. BYCORNE Bycornes were a popular monster from the mid-1500s with the body of a plump cow and a human face. The Oxford English Dictionary (OED) definition of Bycorne describes the beast’s specific diet, which consisted of “patient husbands” who kept him “always fat from the abundance of his diet.” The OED also describes Bycorne’s spouse, Chichevache, who “fed upon patient wives and was always lean.” The legacy of Bycorne shows how folklore often blended humor and fear with ideas about marriage and other cultural norms. POLYPHEMUS Polyphemus is best known from Homer’s “The Odyssey,” in which the one-eyed giant terrorizes Odysseus and his men. By the mid-1600s, the term was generalized to describe any cyclopean creature. Traces of this linguistic shift can be seen today in science with the Polyphemus moth, which got its name from the eye-like spots on its wing. LAMIA Lamia refers to “a mythological creature depicted as a woman who preys on humans, especially children, by sucking their blood,” according to the OED. In Greek mythology, Lamia was once a beautiful queen Zeus loved, but in an act of vengeance, she transformed into a monster that roamed the night, preying on children. Over time, her name became synonymous with witches and female demons. SNALLYGASTER Unlike ancient legends, the Snallygaster emerged in American folklore, fueled by newspaper reports in the early 1900s. This winged beast, described as “a fabulous reptilian bird of vast size,” inspired public hysteria before the legend faded into obscurity. The creature itself has been largely forgotten, but its name left a linguistic mark, morphing into the term “snollygoster,” a term for a shrewd and unprincipled person, which is said to have originated from the Snallygaster legend. Although these creatures have faded from everyday language, their stories reflect the fears, humor, and beliefs of the past. They also remind us that monsters and the words used to describe them are constantly evolving. WEIRD, WILD, AND ONCE FEARED MONSTERS LOST TO TIME
CREATING STABILITY FOR YOUR KIDS AFTER DIVORCE
How to Focus on What Matters Most
Co-parenting after divorce isn’t always easy, but it is possible to create a peaceful, healthy, and supportive environment for your children. By focusing on them, surrounding them with loving people, and remembering to practice good self-care, you can navigate this new chapter of parenting with confidence and stability. Let’s explore three of the top strategies for co-parenting successfully from one of our recent interviews with a local therapist. STAND BY THEM, BUT DON’T ATTEMPT TO FIX THEM. As children experience the impacts of divorce, they may start to show some changes in their behavior. Perhaps they have stopped trying new foods, no longer want to sleep in their own bed, or regressed in their potty training. These are all normal reactions to the significant shift in their lives. What matters most is noticing those changes, affirming them, and validating your children. Don’t jump into fixer mode right away. Focus on riding the wave alongside them. Let them know that they are not alone. ESTABLISH LIMITS AND BOUNDARIES. It’s easy to fall into a trap of shame and guilt for what your child is experiencing, and in turn, being extra permissive and letting them get away with anything. Boundaries and limits help life remain predictable for your kids. It’s essential to set a routine so they know what’s next, whether it’s the days they will spend with their other parent or snack time. You also need healthy routines to keep you on track and give your children a sense of stability. If you are in a problematic co-parenting situation, having control and boundaries in your home ensures that it is a safe space for you and your child. HANG WITH THE PEOPLE WHO SUPPORT YOU AND YOUR KIDS. Trusted, safe people who love your child are like an extra layer of protection. The more people who love your kids, the better for everyone. Nourish their connections with grandparents, teachers, or your closest friends. The more support you and your child have, the easier it is to deal with the tough stuff when it comes.
Is your friend or client married to a controlling, manipulative, narcissistic husband?
OUR BOOKS CAN HELP!
The book can be downloaded for FREE at DivorceInformationBooks.com
Visit StayMarriedFlorida.com for the full interview, plus resources for local therapists in your area.
2 • BrucePA.com
FROM PEOPLE-PLEASING TO PERSONAL POWER
BREAK FREE FROM THE CODEPENDENCY TRAP
RECOGNIZE AND CHALLENGE NEGATIVE SELF-TALK. If you have codependent tendencies, there are likely many systems of beliefs to undo, especially negative self-talk. Codependents often struggle with their self-worth, thinking that they must earn love through serving others. Think about who you are and what your needs are. Reframe the noise and remind yourself you deserve love, respect, and kindness. A therapist or support group can work with you to find the root causes of your codependency and help you discover how to speak kindly to yourself again. PRIORITIZE SELF-CARE. Codependents see taking care of others as a form of self-care. Though it comes from a compassionate place, it’s continuing the false idea that you are unworthy of care if you don’t give it to others. Focus on activities that nurture your well-being, like exercise or meditation. Think about your desires and passions and pursue what makes you happy. Over time, the self- care practices will help you blossom into a more independent version of yourself. Want to learn more tips for avoiding codependent behaviors? Visit our site, StayMarriedFlorida. com, where you can find a wealth of resources, interviews with therapists, and a directory of mental health professionals in your area.
If you’ve ever felt like your happiness depends on keeping others happy, even at the cost of your well-being, you might be stuck in a cycle of codependency. Saying “yes” when you want to say “no,” neglecting your needs to avoid conflict, or feeling like you’re responsible for fixing your partner’s problems are all signs of unhealthy patterns that can leave you feeling empty. You can break free by setting healthy boundaries, challenging negative self-talk, and prioritizing self-care, free of guilt. SET AND ENFORCE HEALTHY BOUNDARIES. One of the most significant challenges codependents have is a lack of boundaries and a struggle to enforce them when their partner crosses the line. Setting boundaries takes more than stating, “I don’t like when you do that.” You must make good on your word when the unwanted behavior continues. You have to say, “I will no longer tolerate this,” and remove yourself from the situation. It’s not always easy, but remember, your well-being doesn’t rely on making that person happy.
Inspired by TheKitchn.com
Have a Laugh!
SILKY CHOCOLATE MOUSSE
This light, airy chocolate mousse is flavorful and requires only two ingredients. It’s the perfect easy- to-make treat for a weeknight or special occasion.
Ingredients •
1 1/2 cup heavy cream, divided
•
1 cup milk chocolate or dark chocolate chips (6 oz)
• Optional Garnish: Grated chocolate, crushed nuts, toffee, or brittle
Directions 1. In a microwave-safe bowl, put 1/2 cup of cream in the microwave for 1 minute. 2. Stir in chocolate and let sit for 5 minutes, then whisk until smooth. 3. In a separate bowl, beat the remaining 1 cup of cream with a hand mixer or whisk until soft peaks form. 4. Set aside 1/2 cup of whipped cream for topping, and continue whipping the remaining cream until stiff peaks form. 5. Gently fold whipped cream into the cooled chocolate mixture in batches, mixing until combined but still light and fluffy. 6. Spoon into four ramekins or glasses, and refrigerate for at least 1 hour before serving. 7. Top with reserved whipped cream and garnish if desired.
561-810-0170 • 3
PRST STD US POSTAGE PAID BOISE, ID PERMIT 411
1601 Forum Pl. Ste. 1101 West Palm Beach, FL 33401
Healing Inside and Out page 1
The Monsters History Tried to Forget
Tips for Raising Happy, Resilient Kids page 2
How to Set Boundaries and Actually Stick to Them
Silky Chocolate Mousse page 3
Don’t Leave Medical Decisions to Chance page 4
PREPARING FOR THE UNEXPECTED The process for granting decision-making powers in critical health care situations is well thought out but imperfect. What happens when there are complex family dynamics or an estranged relative is legally first in line to make decisions? What about family members who can’t agree? Real-life situations can get complicated fast. Fortunately, default surrogate decision-makers must consider the known values and wishes of the person they represent. Health care professionals must also follow these wishes, which they don’t always know. This is why planning is essential — so your wishes are understood and respected. AVOIDING CONFUSION AND UNCERTAINTY If you have preferences about medical treatments, don’t keep them a secret. Discussing them with your closest friends and family members is always advisable so everyone understands and is on the same page. Designating a health care proxy takes things a step further. You can choose anyone as long as they are competent and at least 18 years old. Many people also choose an alternative surrogate to make decisions if their primary choice is unavailable. The designation document must be signed in the presence of two adult witnesses, although requirements may vary by state. Reviewing designations every few years and after major life events will keep them current. As with all long-term plans, taking a few steps now will give you peace of mind and ensure your wishes are clear. In the case of surrogate decision-making, planning also ensures your voice is heard even when you can’t speak for yourself.
It can be difficult to think about, but imagine being rushed to the hospital after a sudden accident. You’re unconscious and unable to speak. Do you know who will make critical decisions on your behalf? This is the role of a surrogate decision-maker. If you haven’t created a health care power of attorney naming a health care proxy, default surrogate decision-making will come into play. Most of the time, your next of kin will fill this role. State statutes vary, but the order of priority typically starts with a person’s spouse or domestic partner. From there, it moves to adult children, parents, and siblings. Some states also authorize close friends with default surrogate decision-making powers when others with higher priority are unavailable. BEYOND THE WILL DO YOU NEED A HEALTH CARE PROXY?
4 • BrucePA.com
Page 1 Page 2 Page 3 Page 4Made with FlippingBook Ebook Creator