“The White Lotus” were filmed – Professor Keeling mentioned how the geisha tradition, decorative and largely non-sexual, had passed down through cen- turies to arrive in present-day forms in golf and busi- ness. In the latter, a usual and concluding duty of young, attractive women is to put drunken business- men safely into taxis home at the end of a big night. My caddie at Sentosa Golf Club in Singapore, Abu, and I got along so well that he stayed with me for both rounds. The resort has hosted PGA and LPGA Tour events and straddles an amusement park in a way that reminds of Disney World. Abu had been caddie- ing for 50 years and drank his coffee through a straw from a plastic sandwich bag he tied to our golf cart. When Abu explained why this pouch method was superior to a cup in the great humidity, I couldn’t follow. To read putts, Abu, cigarette forever pursed between his lips, would squint into the sun and then slowly swoop his hand in a gesture of curvature. We got into a nice rhythm where he would mark my ball with his coin, which I would then remark with my coin to align the side-stamp, chase him a few steps to return his coin, then settle back over my putt. Abu and I talked at length about his father’s experiences in the British militia until I realised he was saying “Malaysia.” As much as you might love to hear your gentle nar- rator go shot by shot, let’s just say golf in Dubai is a lot like flat desert golf anywhere, and the most popu- lar wildlife is the crane – a construction crane. Giant steel arms dominate the skyline, busily erecting a sprawling city of mostly vacant high-rises for a future that hasn’t arrived. On an eight-lane highway, one af- ternoon we passed a bus crammed with immigrant labourers in dusty blue uniforms sleeping against each other. The political leanings of our group were made crystal clear by those who bought logo shirts at the Trump International Dubai pro shop versus those who elected to tour the old town instead. The Persian Gulf is called The Arabian Gulf, depending on who you ask, and I went swimming in it. The beach club at the Four Seasons Jumeirah is achingly beautiful but for the bulldozers pushing sand to build another artificial beach and hotel directly in front of it. Every society is shaped by a different set of chal- lenges initially posed by its land, which ultimately
DIALOGUE FROM THE UNIFORMED FEMALE CADDIES CONSISTED OF TWO WORDS: “JUNGLE” AND “MAYBE!”
128 GOLF DIGEST SOUTH AFRICA
MAY 2026
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