Mary continued
find no satisfaction in gossiping behind your back. They are loved by their families and, in their own idiosyncratic way, love them back. Individuals on the spectrum can make friends but, often times, only with those who make the effort to reach out and become valued to them, as friends. Adults with an ASD can be employed in desirable jobs and live, with the necessary supports, in their own communities and in a manner that supports a positive quality of life. People with an ASD, it seems, are people. It is easy, with autism spectrum disorders, to focus solely on the challenges and deficits that define the disorders. On a person-by-person basis, however, this focus needs to be broadened beyond what the person has to include who the person is. This means attending to the strengths, preferences, talents, likes, dislikes, idiosyncrasies and, yes, charms that are part of each and every individual with autism. It will take some effort on your part. It will take some patience on your part. It will take some resilience on your part. But trust me, it will be time well spent.
the calendars, straightens out the books in the pews and, when distressed about something, will turn to her father, holding his face really close while insisting that he repeat the words she utters. Her father describes the tension between keeping Mary in the church and not wanting to disrupt the mass for others. Short trips outside of the church are necessary for Mary to satisfy her need to repeat and be echoed. But they return, making sure not to miss the best part, the blessing. Mary loves vigorously shaking the hands of her fellow congregants, needing to make sure that no one is left out. There are those difficult moments, when repeating exactly what is said just is not enough, and Mary’s tension rises and begins to show on her face. She will not move from the church bench despite her parents’ expert, gentle guiding toward the back door. Her father remembers how relieved he was when fellow congregants next to them helped get her moving on one occasion, reassuring her and repeating what she was saying to soothe her. During our session, I had the clearest picture of Mary and her family in church, singing and repeating, and being part of the life of the church. I found myself thinking how honored this church was to have this family as part of their community. All were enriched by their presence, respecting and admiring a family whose life journey is different to most, yet so similar in their desire to live out their faith in their chosen religious community. Charles Cartwright, M.D., Medical Director, The Autism Center, UMDNJ-New Jersey Medical School.
Peter F. Gerhardt, Ed.D., is President & Chair of the Scientific Council, Organization for Autism Research (OAR).
“Individuals with an ASD can, and do, continue to grow, learn, and develop new skills and abilities across their lifetimes. They have the capacity for great joy as well as extreme frustration. They are loved by their families and, in their own idiosyncratic way, love them back.”
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Autism and Faith
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