Lynn Family
Our family began attending mass at the beginning of July 2006. We introduced ourselves to the ushers and lectors at mass, our pastor and the director of religious education for the parish. We especially took the time to introduce our children, Eoin and Colin. Colin, our 4-year-old, has autism. Our priest and the religious education director made us feel very welcome, in every way, and asked us if there was anything at all they could do to assist with making Colin feel comfortable and to please let us know. Unfortunately, not all of the parishioners were as welcoming as the parish staff. We were attending an 11:30 am mass and sat in the back, like we usually do, in case we needed to give Colin a break. He was pretty quiet,
Marianne,Gerry, Eoin and Colin Lynn.
a concrete way you can help: drop off/pick up dry cleaning, bring a meal, or offer to look after siblings while the parent brings the autistic child to therapy appointments. This may seem to be a small thing to you, but when people have had the experience of rejection, acts, signs, and symbols of welcome and support are very powerful. As you develop your relationship with the child or adult with autism, you will be rewarded. As you share in the ups and downs of life with these families, you will begin to see the world in a different light. Small steps, which most would overlook, are the source of much joy, and you will witness God’s grace afresh. however, drank his juice, ate cheerios and played with his matchbox cars. He did move around a bit and was a little restless, but not overly distracting to any one around us. Or so we thought! During the mass when it came time for the sign of peace greeting, I reached out my hand in a sign of peace and the woman sitting next to me refused to shake my hand. She said while pointing at our son Colin – after I had offered “Peace be with you” – “I don’t think so...” “He doesn’t belong here – he is not ready for mass.” I explained he had autism and said I was sorry she felt that way. She replied, “I know all about you.” I told her, “God made him the way he is” and she said, “Don’t give me that.” I then said to her, “Shame on you.” At that point we received communion and rather then return to my seat next to that woman, I stayed at the back of the church with Colin. When mass was over, she pursued an exchange of words with my husband. She explained she was a teacher for forty years, and in her judgment Colin did not belong at mass with us – he wasn’t ready. She recommended we sit in the “cry room.” I explained that did not work for our family. She clearly did not want to compromise. My husband asked if she could display some patience and tolerance as a fellow Christian, that that was all we wanted from her. She responded, “that is not what you want, you want my pity!” At that point I asked my husband to leave and I told her that we would like to take up our concerns with the pastor for him to decide.
Cynthia Chiariello, LSW, is the parent of a child on the autism spectrum, a social worker for the Morris School District and a former COSAC Support Group Facilitator.
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Autism and Faith
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