Dr. Narramore, graduate of Columbia University, Now York City, is a psychologist and Consultant in Research and Guidance with one of the largest school systems in the United States.
MENTAL HEALTH Q. What does the term “mental health” mean and is it related to spir itual conversion? A. Mental health might be described as a positive, dynamic balance amidst stress and strain. One who enjoys good mental health has a wholesome optimistic outlook on life, e v e n though life may not always be rosy. The term mental health was once thought to be closely related to the absence of mental disease; however, today a far more positive conception is prevalent. A prominent mental health association gives this defini tion: “Mental health in its broadest sense has oome to mean the measure of a person’s ability to shape his en vironment, to adjust to life as he has to face it and to do so with a reason able amount of satisfaction, success, efficiency and happiness.” With this in mind, may I suggest that one cannot enjoy the greatest measure of mental health unless he has placed his sins at the foot of the cross, has risen with the knowledge of the indwelling Holy Spirit, has taken God’s Word as his guide, and has experienced the joy of a new vic torious life! The Scriptures state, “ But the wick ed are like the troubled sea, when it cannot rest, whose waters cast up mire and dirt. There is no peace, saith my God, to the wicked” (Isa. 57:20, 21). In contrast, the condition of the true believer is described: “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind” (2 Tim. 1:7). QUESTIONS YOUNG CHILDREN ASK Q. M y w ife and I have a boy five years old. Lately he has been asking us “ where babies come from.” A l though we have told him some things,
I have not been getting along well together. Our unhappiness is reflected in the children, which makes them extrem ely nervous, hard to manage, and cross. Since the situation is getting worse and we can’t seem to do anything about it, I have decided that it would be best for all concerned if I filed for divorce. I know it won’t be easy for the children. However, I would like to explain to them so they won’t take it so hard. A. It seems to me that your problem is much deeper than the one of seek ing an explanation suitable to your children It is interesting to note that you state “ I have decided.” According to God’s Word, it is not for us Chris tians to decide. God’s instructions and solutions stand the test of time. Hu man decisions have only temporary, if any, real value. One might ask if your contemplated action will solve your problem or add to it. Studies reveal that those who marry the sec ond time are poorer risks than those who marry for the first time. As I counsel with people, I am im pressed with the misconception which so many have. That misconception is that married couples get along per fectly at all times. Actually, there is no such thing as a perfect human relationship, because we are imper fect people with different back grounds and beliefs. Many fine cou ples have saved their marriage by carefully discussing their differences and the causes of their differences. It is possible to have a severe prob lem and yet not thoroughly under stand the dynamics of the situation. In summary, there probably is no easy way to explain divorce to chil dren. Little do we realize that every time a parent gets a divorce, the child gets one too!
we don’t know just what or how much to say. Can you suggest a good Christian book along this line? Neither my w ife nor l received much help when we were kids, and we’d like to avoid making the same mistake with our own child. A. This is a common problem. A na tural phase of child-growth and de velopment is that of becoming curious about one’s body and about the origin of human beings. At the age of two or three, children make many ob servations. Nearly all children are certain to begin to ask questions as early as three-and-one-half years and not later than five or six. Parents should be ready to answer their ques tions intelligently rather than evade them. This helps children gain con fidence in parents, and to develop wholesome attitudes. It also helps them spiritually. Children should know and feel that Christ who for gives and saves is interested in their personal lives . . . that to the believer there is no dichotomy between the secular and the sacred; that every thing is sacred. I do not know of many good books along this line with a Christian point of view. It is suggested that when children raise questions they should be an swered frankly and briefly. Small children do not desire a detailed sci entific explanation. More important to the child is the happy, positive and encouraging way in which a question is answered. In discussing matters pertaining to personal growth and de velopment it is better to use correct terms which can grow with the child. Discussions of this nature are natural and normal for children. We should not make them otherwise. CHILDREN GET DIVORCES TOO Q. For a long time my husband and
THE KING'S BUSINESS
28
Made with FlippingBook - Online magazine maker