But at home, things were getting different with her big brother. “We all wear that mask in public, but it’s real life at home. Much like social media today, we only post the good stuff,” added Gretchen and Sarah agreed. Gretchen recalled Zach “struggling” as she continued through high school. He began isolating himself and was feeling unsure of what was next for him and what direction to go. As she was focused on her schoolwork and preparing for college, Gretchen was unaware of how challeng- ing things were for her older brother. She would soon become aware of how bad things really were. Gretchen recalled the organic chemistry class on that August day in 2004. The teacher was interrupted by security and stepped into the hall; as he re-entered, he asked Gretchen to join them. She remem- bers thinking, “What did I do?” But that quickly changed when she was greeted by a family friend who lived in her college area. With her tear-stained face, Gretchen’s next thought was, “Dad.” She had to quickly process words like “attempted suicide,” “brother,”“hospital,” and “you need to go home to Ohio.” Once home, she was confronted with how bad things had gotten for Zach, who would not survive. Sara received the call from her brother, Matthew, with the news about Zach. She recalled being “shocked, never knowing the extent of Zach’s struggles,” while thinking of her friend, Gretchen; she remembers feeling “deeply saddened and
not knowing what to say to the family.”
society. Gretchen shared that through her therapy, she found closure and peace with the loss of her brother but wants to remind us to always “be kind and do whatever you can to make people’s day. Be the bright spot when you can.” As we finished lunch, I felt so comfortable and connected to Sarah and Gretchen that I had to ask, “When was the last time you both had a clown nose on?”
Our conversation then took a shift; several generations ago, you never spoke of mental health, yet today it is ok not to be ok. The two women shared that the time that passed provided a new perspective and the recog- nition that life unfolds and challenges us, and 20 years later, after high school, life is different. All people have “struggles,” added both Gretchen and Sarah. Gretchen recalled her path to recovery after losing her brother, which included working with a therapist. She mentioned that one of the books she read was I Thought it Was Just Me (But It Isn’t) by Brené Brown, which encouraged her to share that people need to know that “we are more alike than we are different. We all want to get through life and if we do not have connections, we feel isolated. We need to be able to relate to and support one another.” The recognition of a global dialogue sur- rounding mental health started with the help of public figures like Michael Phelps, Simone Biles, and Prince Harry. Sarah men- tioned that her daughters, aged seven and eleven, attend school and are aware when classmates struggle. “They discuss things like ADHD or anxiety and give each other the space to process emotions and are even supporting one another to do better.” We all shared how happy we were to see this shift and that anxiety was never openly addressed 20 years ago. We are hopeful that we are equipping future generations with the abili- ty to remove the mental health stigma from
Sarah responded, “This past Christmas, my daughter’s Rudolph nose.”
Gretchen shared, “It was about 10 years ago at a baseball game with my parents in Detroit.” As I drove back to the office, this lunch fed my soul and left me wanting more mo- ments of connection, laughter, and even tears with these fantastic women. Not only did we have a unique and deep conversa- tion addressing mental health issues, it re- minded me that when faced with a mental struggle, to seek help, be connected, and hold on to hope. If you would like to help the Souers family continue Zach’s legacy and give our youth HOPE for brighter future, please complete the donation form on the following page.
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THE VILLAGE NETWORK . SPRING / SUMMER 2023
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