REAL PARENTS Q. When I enrolled my child in school, one question they asked was whether the parent was real or step. My child is adopted, but the birth certificate shows the parents as nat ural. The child knows. Is it necessary to tell the truth to outsiders? What makes a parent real? A. I like your spirit! You infer that parents can love an adopted child just as much as one to whom they have given birth. A host of parents who have adopted children will agree with you. No doubt the school would have been more accurate and a little wiser to have asked if the parent was “ nat ural” rather than “real.” I do believe, however, that the school has asked the question in the interest of the child. When teachers know a child’s background, they can understand and work more effectively with him. Not long ago I was consulted about a child who was having serious diffi culty at home and at school. When I learned that the boy was adopted, I understood why his temperament and ability varied so much from the two other children in the family. I understood why he didn’t look like the other children, why his mental ability differed so much, and why the parents had the attitudes they did. Being furnished with this back ground, I was able to assist the teach er as well as the parents. In a short time we helped the youngster make a satisfactory adjustment at home and at school. In regard to “telling the truth to outsiders,” I believe, of course, that if we say anything, it should be the truth. Furthermore, I would suggest that any organization like the school which works with, and cares for, our children more during their waking
hours of the week than the parents do, are not “outsiders.” I think teach ers are “ insiders.” They are respon sible for our children. By the very nature of their association they set an example for them, they instruct them and they help to establish their life habits. As to “ what makes a parent real,” I think we would agree on these: one who wants and loves his child, one who spends time with his child, one who is inspired by his child, one who understands his child, one who pro vides for his children and one who guides and trains his child. Q. As a pastor I am interested in your suggestions regarding a series of meetings on “Dating and Sex Ed ucation.” A. I am glad you are concerned about the personal development of your young people. Aside from spiritual conversion and spiritual maturity, matters of personal living are prob able the most important concerns of boys and girls. As you know, thou sands of Christian young people drift into sexual sins because they have had little or no Christ-centered teach ing along these lines. I suggest you set aside four Friday nights (including refreshments) for the purpose of talking with the young people of your church. You might call it a “ Personal Living Series.” It should probably be planned by you and your wife and by the youth leader and his wife. You will also want to consider any other committees or boards in your church which are a t fected. I suggest you put a notice of the series in the church bulletin and that you list the general topics to be considered. They would include “ Friends,” “ Dating,” “ Courtship.” SEX EDUCATION FOR YOUNG PEOPLE
During the meetings you and your wife should evaluate the former week’s presentation and make plans for the coming week. Near the end of the series you should distribute a questionnaire (unsigned) on which the participants may record their re actions. This will help you to improve the second series the following year. During the first meeting you will want to distribute 3x5 white cards, encouraging the young people to write one question on •each card. It will be best if you outline the kinds of questions that they might like to ask. The general problems might in clude “ Dating,” “What the Bible Says About Sex,” “ Special Problems,” and “What Makes a Good Marriage.” I suggest you do not answer these ques tions until the second, third and fourth meetings. This will give you an opportunity to go through the questions and select several to be dis cussed at each succeeding meeting. During the first session, you might like to discuss matters pertaining to dating. During the second and third sessions you will want to discuss some of the questions which haye been written. In addition you should make a list of the things which constitute a good marriage. You might start the discussion by asking the young peo ple what they think makes a good marriage. Then you can add to their suggestions. The fourth session should include more questions and answers. In addi tion, you should discuss some of the most frequent types of sex problems and their causes. Throughout the series you should emphasize God’s Word. You will find that the morale of your young people will, improve after such a series. In addition, some young people will come to you individually to talk about personal problems.
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THE KING'S BUSINESS
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