Promise Law - November 2022

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November 2022

Blessings Big and Small Thanksgiving Is a Time to Reflect

It’s named after my mom’s mother and consists of chopped broccoli and cauliflower. That might sound a little too healthy for Thanksgiving, but it also comes with a mayonnaise dressing, red onions, and bits of bacon. It perfectly combines a crunchy texture with a sweet and tangy taste, and it’s the ideal complement to all the heavy, savory flavors you otherwise enjoy in the meal. If you’d like to try it out, check out the recipe on Page 3! Holidays become a touchstone for many families. You can’t help but notice when someone is absent, and the first Thanksgiving after a family death is always bittersweet. Instead of ignoring the elephant in the room, we use the opportunity to reflect on prior holidays. We’ve incorporated a memorial ritual into our celebration to honor those who have passed. It was probably my sister’s idea; she has studied multiple spiritual traditions and introduced us to the concept of puja in Hinduism. We now perform our own version by creating an altar with photographs of the deceased, candles, and some greenery. Then, we fix our lost family members a plate, place them on the altar, and reminisce about funny stories, favorite memories, and the legacies our loved ones left behind. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you the past few years have been challenging. So, I appreciate an opportunity to count my blessings, and after all we’ve been through, I particularly appreciate my health. I’m also very grateful to be close to my family and rely on them for solace in troubling times. And I can’t forget my gratitude for the team here at Promise Law, a very tightknit group. So, it’s with mixed emotions that I announce the retirement of Rob Kutz. We merged our firms in 2019, and he has been a wonderful colleague and friend. I want to thank him for taking a chance by consolidating our two businesses and having been such an incredible attorney to work alongside. I’m very grateful we had the opportunity to work together, and I’ll miss his skill and personable nature.

Thanksgiving is among my favorite holidays, not only because I enjoy the time with family but because I find it a very restful transition into the longer, darker days of winter. Perhaps that’s why we eat so much — we’re subconsciously fattening ourselves up for the cold days ahead. Besides the food, I try not to overextend myself this time of year, using it as a time to reflect. As it is for many families, Thanksgiving is a big deal in ours. The logistics seem to get more challenging every year as our family expands, but we find a way to make it work. My mom usually hosts, but we’ll celebrate at my sister’s new house this year. I’m looking forward to giving Adrienne and her fiancé a warm christening of their home. Of course, Thanksgiving is not complete without turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and sweet potato pie. I’ve also developed a recipe over the years for spicy cranberry relish. It’s tangy, refreshing, and much better than what you get out of a can. But our most cherished dish is one we call Granny Salad.

NOVEMBER WORKSHOPS*

ESTATE PLANNING WORKSHOPS

Wednesday, Nov. 2 9:30–11 a.m. Wednesday, Nov. 9 2:30–4 p.m.

Tuesday, Nov. 15 5:30–7 p.m. Wednesday, Nov. 30 9:30–11 a.m.

Though the entire firm is sad to see him go, we wish him all the best as he moves into the next phase of his life in retirement. Thank you for the good times, Rob. I hope you enjoy the best of luck.

*All workshops are offered virtually so you can learn in the comfort and safety of your own home! Register at PromiseLaw.com or by calling (757) 690-2470.

-Geneva Perry

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Why Do I Constantly Think About This? How to Manage Intrusive Thoughts

Many people deal with unwelcome, intrusive thoughts every day. We’ve all experienced unwanted images or notions racing through our minds, and it can be difficult to concentrate on what we need to be doing. These thoughts can also trigger feelings of anxiety, worry, and shame. But know you’re not alone — some estimate that 6 million Americans are affected, so many can empathize with what you’re going through. Here is some good advice about intrusive thoughts and how to manage them in a healthy way.

Understand they will pass, but prepare yourself for other unwanted thoughts. Most importantly, push through and continue to complete your tasks and errands when the thoughts occur.

If you try to control, suppress, question, act, or engage with intrusive thoughts, you’ll likely be even more fixated on them. You’ll

feel more in control if you allow them to pass through your brain instead of trying to avoid and ignore them. Intrusive thoughts can feel distressing, but allowing them to freely enter and exit your mind will provide you with ease — even if it doesn’t seem that way. However, if intrusive ideas persist and

What are intrusive thoughts?

Intrusive thoughts are unwanted ideas that occur without warning at any time, often triggered by stress or anxiety, or even short-term biological factors, like hormone shifts. They can come in many forms, and people often worry about what they mean, so naturally, they try to control or stop the ideas altogether. But trying to prohibit these thoughts can make them more persistent.

continually impair your ability to work or do things you enjoy, seek information from a mental health professional. You’re never alone in your struggles, so don’t hesitate to ask for help if you need it.

What can you do?

Instead of pushing these thoughts out of your mind, acknowledge that they are intrusive concepts and allow them to linger.

The fire continued to spread quickly, and Bostic described it as a “black lagoon” of smoke on the ground floor. He checked all of the bedrooms but couldn’t find the little girl. Then, as he approached a window to exit the home, he heard a child’s cry. Bostic then had an internal conversation with himself: He knew the child needed help, and although he was terrified to go back downstairs through the fire and smoke, he wouldn’t quit. After wrapping his shirt around his mouth, he ran through the home, following the girl’s cries for help. Once he found her, he picked her up, ran upstairs, and jumped out the window onto the lawn. All of the children were safe and suffered no injuries. Bostic received first-degree burns and severe cuts on his arm. He was airlifted to the nearest hospital once first responders arrived at the scene. Bostic’s cousin created a GoFundMe to pay for Bostic’s medical bills, and it collected $556,000. Late-Night Driver Becomes a Sudden Hero Right Place, Right Time

Nicholas Bostic had a heated argument with his girlfriend one night, so he went out driving around to clear his head and relax. Little did he know he would become a hero that same night. During his drive, he witnessed a raging fire that had engulfed a family’s home. Bostic stopped his car and ran inside despite the flames. He immediately began yelling for anyone since no one appeared to be inside the house — not even emergency personnel. His cries woke up 18-year-old Seionna Barrett, the oldest of five children, and she gathered her siblings together to exit the home. Bostic ran to Barrett and her young siblings, and he helped her take the children outside. But Barrett then told Bostic that her 6-year-old sister wasn’t with them. Without a second thought, Bostic again entered the home, hoping to rescue the little girl.

Today, Bostic is healthy and healing. He now has a new perspective on life and is looking forward to whatever his future might hold.

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College graduates are eager to get into the workforce and start using their newly acquired knowledge in the “real world.” However, according to the National Association of Colleges and Employers, only 20% of U.S. college students in 2009 had a job after they graduated. In 2009, Trina Thompson found herself in that 80% of unemployed graduates, and she wanted to do something about it. I WANT MY MONEY BACK! Recent Graduate Sues Her College After graduating from Monroe College in New York, Thompson couldn’t find a suitable job. So she filed a $70,000 case against her school (the amount of her tuition for her bachelor’s degree) and $2,000 to compensate her for what she endured while searching for a job. In her lawsuit, she claimed that the college’s career counselors promised career advice and job leads but didn’t work hard enough to find her a job. In addition, she suggested that Monroe’s Office of Career Advancement shows preferential treatment to students with high GPAs — not students like herself who had a low GPA. In response to the case, Monroe College spokesman Gary Axelbank said, “The lawsuit is completely without merit. While it’s clear that no college, especially in this economy, can guarantee employment, Monroe College remains committed to working with all its students … to prepare them for careers and to support them during their job search.” But Thompson or the college didn’t have to worry about attending trial because the case didn’t make it that far. Her case might have stood up in court if she hadn’t received a job offer. Her media attention and IT degree caught the eye of Steve Bellamy, CEO of The Ski Channel. He loved her hunger and willingness to put herself out there, and he offered her a position at his

AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM ATTORNEY ROB KUTZ

After more than 35 years of practice, I have decided to retire. I am incredibly grateful for all the clients, colleagues, and friends I have met along the way. As hard as it is to leave this profession I love and the clients I serve, I want to have more opportunity to relax and play with family and friends. I will be working through the end of 2022, but I wanted to make sure I shared this important news with the Promise Law community. I’ll offer more reflections on my career and the people and experiences that have shaped it in next month’s newsletter.

GRANNY SALAD

Ingredients

Salad • 1/2 lb bacon • 1 medium head cauliflower

Dressing • 1 cup mayonnaise • 1/3 cup apple cider vinegar • 3 tablespoons sugar

• 2 bunches broccoli • 1 small red onion

company. Thompson got the job, so her case was eventually dissolved.

Directions

1. Cook the bacon until desired crispness. Once the bacon is cool enough to handle, chop or crumble and set aside. 2. Cut or break up the cauliflower and broccoli into small pieces and chop the red onion. Place the vegetables in a large bowl and set aside while preparing the dressing. 3. In a small bowl, whisk together the dressing ingredients until well combined and a smooth consistency. 4. Pour the dressing over the vegetables and stir until all the vegetables are coated. Toss in the bacon. 5. Refrigerate for several hours or overnight before serving.

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INSIDE THIS ISSUE

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Geneva’s Thanksgiving Traditions

A Healthy Way to Manage Intrusive Thoughts Man Saves 5 From a Burning Home

Granny Salad Recent Graduate Sues Her College

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It’s National Gratitude Month!

It’s About Showing Gratitude Thanksgiving Is About More Than Food

As we prepare for our Thanksgiving feasts, Thursday night football games, and Black Friday shopping, take some time to show gratitude for those around you and for what you have. Here are a few ways to practice gratitude this month. Appreciate everything. Get into the habit of being grateful for the little things in your life. It can be easy to acknowledge the “big” things, but nothing is too small to be thankful for. You can be grateful the weather is nice and sunny, that you received the package you’ve been waiting for, or that you got out of bed today. Don’t leave out anything when practicing gratitude. Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is the ability to be fully present and aware of what’s happening around you. So, instead of being overwhelmed by what you need to do tomorrow or next week, focus on the present moment and enjoy the time you spend solo or with your loved ones. Live in the moment and take one day at a time. Tomorrow will surely come, and you only have a limited amount of time in the present. Celebrate your challenges. Sometimes struggles and battles in our lives can weigh us down. But when you persevere and continue to push forward, you will find success. Challenges help you improve and strengthen your abilities

and resilience, so celebrate the progress you’ve made. Showing gratitude for challenges and negative experiences allows us to acknowledge humility and appreciate growth in our lives. Keep a journal. Writing down the things you’re grateful for will remind you of all the great things you have when other things aren’t going so well. So, keep a journal about what you’re grateful for each day or week — even if it’s just small things at first. Your perspective on life will change, and it will get easier to see the good things and to feel grateful for things you were likely overlooking. Showing gratitude is something we should do every day, all throughout the year — not just during the holidays. So, try to practice mindfulness and gratitude using these tips! Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

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