STUPID GOLF PROBLEMS
and-run, but with no cops to call. If the rest of the group is OK with it, and you all agree on a reasonable spot, simply drop where you believe it was and play your next shot with no penalty. This is assuming you aren’t playing in an official event, of course. If it’s a casual round, yes it sucks to lose an expensive ball when you clearly hit it in play, but if you never saw who did it, there’s not much you can do. If you’re playing for money and someone wants to give you a hard time about it actu- ally being a “lost ball” by the definition of the Rules, then that’s their preroga- tive. With people like that, you have to be a Rules stickler right back to them when the time comes and see how they like it (they won't). In bucket B — you can see someone stealing your ball from miles away — I’m a huge proponent of screaming at the top of your lungs to deter them. It could be a “HEY,” it could be a “DON’T TOUCH IT” a la Alan from “The Hang- over,” or it could be a “THAT’S NOT YOUR BALL” for all I care. People need to know it’s not OK to be scooping balls that could be in play for someone else, even if it’s a fairway or two over. A good rule is to just assume it’s always someone else’s ball who is in the middle of a round. You have your own ball, go play that. If shouting doesn’t work, I fully endorse driving or walking over to the person and calmly confronting them. Most people will sheepishly admit they did take it and give it back. The ones that don’t and deny what you saw with your own eyes don’t deserve to breathe the same air as the rest of us. But they are the ones who have to look in the mirror at a fraud every morning. If you need a free ball that badly, you can go dumpster diving in the woods or a dried-up hazard that's full of them. You don't need to be taking any that are a few metres off the fairway. Let’s all just stop picking up balls in bounds that aren’t ours and making sure you’re watching your own ball at all times and having a good line on it. If we all do that, lost balls will still happen, but they’ll be much easier to live with.
How do you handle the “stolen ball” phenomenon
but we all understand the feeling of not being able to resist a free Pro V1x. Especially one with a cool number on it. Like 64 or 81. Ooo! We got a custom job here boys! That said, any time I’ve ever done it, I immediately feel the bad karma. And those are the moments I swear off EVER touching a ball that’s pos- sibly in play for someone else, even if it’s someone I can’t currently see from 300-plus metres away. It’s the classic “do unto others as you would have them do to you” situation. I hit the ball wildly off-line sometimes, too, and I want to always have a chance to still find it as long as it's in bounds. When those moments inevitably happen, how do you handle it? Two scenarios usually play out: A. You didn’t see your ball get stolen, or B. You did, but the person who took it is so far away that it’s (almost) impos- sible to stop. In bucket A, the most likely sce- nario is that you’ve hit a blind shot, or simply weren’t paying full attention on the drive or walk up to your ball and didn’t notice someone taking it. In this (very frustrating) case, you sort of just have to live with it. A total hit-
BY CHRISTOPHER POWERS
GOLFERS PICKING UP A ball in another fairway is a scenario where we’ve been
both the victim AND the guilty party. Anyone who says differently is lying. I, for one, have watched in agony after blocking one into another fair- way, waiting for my playing partners to tee off, and seeing someone from 250 metres away roll up in their cart, extend their arm down and inspect my golf ball. Even if they don’t steal it, I still feel violated. I’ve also seen a ball that isn't mine (or anyone's in my group) buried in rough on the hole I'm on, searched far and wide for anyone on a nearby hole whose ball it could be, and told myself it's up for grabs. I’m not proud of it,
20 GOLF DIGEST SOUTH AFRICA
SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 2026
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