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Just Ask Adrianos
May 2023
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FROM ADOPTION TO REUNION
My Journey to Find my Birth Mother
My adoption story is a huge part of who I am. If my adoptive parents hadn’t made sacrifices or dedicated as much effort as they did, there’s no telling what my life would be like today. There’s one vital person involved in the adoption process that rarely gets talked about, and when they do, it’s often in a negative light. I’m talking about the birth mother. You’ll often hear people say these women are giving up their children to avoid the responsibility of parenthood, but in many cases, they’re trying to give their children the best chance at a successful and fulfilling life. On May 6, we recognize National Birth Mother’s Day, which calls on us to celebrate the sacrifices made by birth mothers. I was too young to remember my mother when I was adopted. She was one of seven children from Nicaragua. At one point, my birth mother came to the United States to visit one of her sisters living in Los Angeles. While there, she met someone and became pregnant. Over time, she determined that she wanted to stay in the U.S. permanently to give herself a better chance at a happier life. Unfortunately, she came from a family that was not necessarily financially stable, and she only had the equivalent of a 10th-grade education. The odds were stacked against her. She was in a difficult situation with an impossible decision to make. I was born at the USC Medical Center. My birth mother didn’t have the means or money to care for me, so she planned to put me into the foster care system. At some point, my adoptive parents contacted my birth mother’s sister, who directed them to the hospital. My adoptive father showed up and told the administration desk that he was the birth father, which gave him access to see my biological mother. The two talked for a little while, and by the end of the conversation, my adoptive father had decided to adopt me.
For years, all I knew about my birth mother was that her name was Carmen, and she was from Nicaragua. I didn’t necessarily need to learn more. I was happy with my amazing adoptive parents and was busy living life. Over time, curiosity got the better of me, and I began to investigate. In my early 30s, I hired a private investigator who specialized in finding birth parents. Within two weeks, she found my birth mom. She was living in Florida, so I decided to visit her. The meeting with my birth mother went better than I would have ever expected. She was a wonderful woman who welcomed me into her life and her family’s lives. I learned that I had a half-sister and 28 first cousins. It was so crazy to hear all about my birth mother’s family. I had a great-uncle who was a general in the Nicaraguan army and another relative who was a labor secretary, but there were no lawyers in the family. I was the only one and had also received more education than any blood relative. This was such an eye-opening experience. As an adopted kid, you never really see anyone else who looks or behaves like you. Seeing my birth mother and half-sister was fascinating because we looked similar, but there were plenty of differences that stemmed from my educational background and environment. I still keep in touch with my birth mother and half-sister. They’re an essential part of my life, and I completely understand the sacrifices my birth mother made. At the end of the day, I’m simply thankful that such caring and supportive people decided to adopt me and raise me, giving me the best chance to find success and happiness.
-Adrianos Facchetti
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Bad Grade? Sue Your Professor!
During your school career, you probably got at least one grade that was less than you deserved. Maybe you painfully accepted the grade or confronted your instructor for an explanation. Most people choose one of those two options — but have you ever heard of a student taking their professor to court? That’s precisely what this Pennsylvanian student did when she discovered her C+ grade wouldn’t let her graduate. Megan Thode, a Lehigh University graduate student, sued her professor and school for the mediocre grade that would ultimately cost her a degree. Thode reported that due to the incorrect grade, she couldn’t graduate and, therefore, couldn’t pursue a career as a licensed therapist. Thode demanded a grade change from this lawsuit as well as monetary damages. How much exactly? She wanted $1.3 million. According to Thode, this represented the money she would lose from not earning her graduate degree and starting her desired career. We should note that since Thode was the daughter of Stephen Thode, a finance professor at Leigh University, she attended the school for free. Her professor, Amanda Eckhardt, gave Thode a zero in class participation, lowering her overall grade to a C. And Eckhardt stood by her evaluation. According to USA Today, when questioned,
the professor remarked, “I believed she received the grade she earned.” In fact, Eckhardt testified that Thode had explosive behavior in class, acted unprofessionally, seemed emotionally unstable, and didn’t even heed a warning letter. As expected, a judge quickly rejected this case in court. NPR announced that, after only four days of testimony in the civil trial, the judge determined the university never breached any contract and did not owe Thode a dime. In the end, Thode changed her master’s degree to human development. She won’t be anyone’s therapist any time soon!
Cinco de Mayo: More Than a Drinking Holiday Celebrate Mexican Culture All Year Long
While Cinco de Mayo may have already passed, there’s never a wrong time to celebrate Mexican history. Cinco de Mayo fiestas have certainly taken on a life of their own in the
support plenty of Mexican businesses. You’ll uplift the owner and the Mexican community whose culture we all love. Most of us understand that small businesses have it rough. So, take the time to shop for hand-crafted Mexican jewelry or pottery — and dine at a Mexican restaurant you’ve never been to. Experiencing Mexican Museums and Art From Frida Kahlo to Diego Rivera, Mexican art has offered countless masterpieces and colorful works. Take some time to visit a nearby Mexican museum or art gallery to witness some authentic Mexican art and history. A country’s artwork often reflects its culture, so explore nearby venues that spotlight Mexican artists. Cooking Authentic Mexican Cuisine Have you ever heard someone say, “I don’t like Mexican food”? Neither have we! This month, skip Taco Bell and try cooking an authentic Mexican dish. Enchiladas, tortas, flautas, pozole, and more authentic recipes are at your fingertips (on your smartphone). When you taste a nation’s popular meals, you can better grasp its unique culture. If you missed Cinco de Mayo this year, don’t worry; you can embrace Mexican culture all year long. Remember the true story of the Battle of Puebla and uplift the Mexican community in your area.
U.S., but we should honor the holiday with appreciation, not just margaritas. Not everyone knows that Cinco de Mayo marks Mexico’s victory in the Battle of Puebla — it’s a reminder to embrace the beauty and power of the Mexican culture. On May 5, 1862, French troops outnumbered Mexican forces, yet the latter persevered. The Battle of Puebla remains an astounding historical victory for Mexico and gives us the celebration of Cinco de Mayo. So, maybe it’s time to discover how you can honor this vibrant culture in your own community. Supporting Mexican Businesses Whether it’s a local Mexican artisan or a family-owned Mexican restaurant, you can
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KEEP YOUR FAMILY HAPPY AFTER A DIVORCE With These Co-Parenting Tips
What Our Clients Are Saying “Adrianos and his amazing team helped me through a very tragic time in my life. It was my first time having to obtain a lawyer. I had no idea what I was doing or what to expect, but his whole team were very calm and patient with me... I would definitely use their expertise again if needed and I highly recommend them. I can’t thank you guys enough!” –Nadine R.
After any divorce, if you have lingering feelings of resentment or anger toward your ex-spouse, co-parenting might seem incredibly daunting. Yet, it doesn’t have to be a bitter relationship between you and your ex. While it does take two to tango, and each parent needs to put in the effort, there are ways to ensure you create the best possible family environment for your children. While co-parenting may be challenging, don’t be discouraged. We’ll share why co- parenting is essential and tips for healthy co-parenting. How Co-Parenting Affects Kids The American Psychological Association found that children who spent time with both parents after a divorce experienced fewer emotional and behavioral issues and were as well-adjusted as children whose parents never divorced. The following co-parenting tips can help prevent conflicts so you can focus on caring for your children. • Separating Emotions From Behaviors Negative emotions about your ex-spouse should never affect your actions, especially in front of your children. Arguing in front of your kids will harm them emotionally. • Avoiding the Temptation of Venting to Your Kids Prevent complaints from reaching your children’s ears. Instead of voicing negative comments about your ex-spouse to your child, you should vent to a friend or counselor. • Letting Everyone Have a Say While you may always want to be in charge, you should allow your ex-spouse to participate in your children’s daily lives. • Maintaining Respect Think of co-parenting as a business relationship where disrespect is never allowed. When you remain respectful, you can avoid heated conflicts. While it may be difficult, proper co-parenting can ensure your child feels loved by both parents. When done with your children’s best interest in mind, this will boost their confidence and help them better acclimate to the divorce. Their well-being should always be both parents’ top priority.
This month, we’d like to thank Nicollette J., Eric L., Tori H., Bob F., and Marjorie L. for Thank You for Referrals!
believing we’re the right firm to help their friends and family. Your continued support gives us the ability to reach more individuals and make a positive difference in their lives. If we can help anyone you know who needs our services, please send them our way!
SALMON CROQUETTES WITH DILL SAUCE
Inspired by Epicurious.com
This dish is light and refreshing, making it perfect for spring! The crispy salmon patties pair perfectly with the cool dill sauce dolloped on top.
Ingredients
• 1 1/2 cups plain yogurt or fat- free sour cream • 1/4 cup Dijon mustard • 6 sprigs fresh dill, chopped • 2 14.75-oz cans salmon packed in water • 4 celery stalks, finely chopped
• 1 large white onion, finely chopped • 4 large eggs, beaten • 1/2 tbsp salt
• 1 tbsp pepper • 2 tbsp olive oil
Directions
1. In a small bowl, whisk together yogurt, Dijon mustard, and dill to make the dill sauce. Set aside. 2. Drain the salmon, then remove and discard the bones and skin. In a large bowl, mix the salmon, celery, onion, eggs, salt, and pepper. Form the mixture into 8 patties. Coat a medium skillet with olive oil and heat it over medium-high heat. Cook the patties until browned on both sides, about 5 minutes per side. 3. Put a dollop of the dill sauce on top of each patty and serve.
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INSIDE THIS ISSUE
1
It’s National Birth Mother’s Day
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Student Takes C+ to Court Rethinking Cinco de Mayo
Salmon Croquettes With Dill Sauce Tips for Co-Parenting After a Divorce
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Stargaze This May
Why You Need to See Eta Aquariids DON’T MISS THIS ASTRAL EVENT
All month long, countless astronomy aficionados will be camping out in the dead of night to catch a glimpse of an annual meteor shower. First discovered in 1870, the meteor shower known as Eta Aquariids can be seen from Earth every May. This stellar space show moves as fast as 44 miles per second and leaves a bright, glowing trail behind it. Eta Aquariids is visible to both the Northern and Southern Hemispheres, making it an optimal summer night event. However, this one might be for the night owls since it peaks past midnight. Curious to know more about this mysterious annual meteor shower? Let’s discover the origins of Eta Aquariids and how you can catch a glimpse of this galactic sight. The meteor shower was made from Halley’s Comet. Eta Aquariids is a collection of leftover space debris from the famous Halley’s Comet — mostly ice and dust. As these meteors pass through the Earth’s atmosphere, they heat up and glow bright enough for you to see. Every year, you can watch as these small chunks of Halley’s Comet burn and leave shining streaks in the night sky. It takes nearly 76 years for Halley’s Comet to orbit the Sun just once, and the last time we saw this iconic comet was in 1986. It won’t even reenter our solar system again until 2061, but luckily it left us the yearly gift of Eta Aquariids.
Here’s how to best view the Eta Aquariids. There’s no specific date to see Eta Aquariids, and we only know the time range of early to mid-May. Your last chance to witness this spectacular sight in 2023 is May 27. Yet, 2023 is said to be an exceptionally bright year for this meteor shower. According to Bill Cooke, the lead for the Meteoroid Environment Office at NASA, the meteor rates will be over two times the average speed which will cause an abnormally vibrant glow. For specific stargazing dates, check the American Meteor Society’s official calendar (AMSMeteors.org/meteor-showers/meteor-shower- calendar). To best view this magnificent meteor shower, you’ll need to get cozy in your lawn chair around 2 a.m. It’s crucial that you give your eyes at least a half hour to adapt to the darkness so you can see the shower. There’s no need for binoculars or telescopes since Eta Aquariids is visible to the naked eye. Simply find a dark spot away from city lights and wait for the show!
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