When Laughing Was Scandalous Outrageous Etiquette Rules From the Past
Etiquette has always been an ever-changing game, but some rules from the past are so bizarre that it’s hard to believe anyone actually followed them. From mandatory gloves to rain-soaked gentlemen, let’s take a trip back in time and appreciate just how far we’ve come in the world of social graces. Imagine being a Victorian woman at a fancy gathering. You spot someone across the room and want to strike up a conversation — but wait! If you weren’t spoken to first, you had to stay silent. Initiating conversation could ruin your social standing because heaven forbid a woman had an independent thought. And if you did manage to chat with someone, you had better keep your laughter under control. Women were expected to cover their mouths when laughing because too much joy was unacceptable. Speaking of controlling appearances, let’s talk about the ultimate fashion injustice — men and umbrellas. In 18th-century England, a man carrying an umbrella was seen as weak. A true gentleman had to brave the rain with a stiff upper lip and a soggy coat. Meanwhile, women had their own list of fashion do’s and don’ts. Gloves? Mandatory. Hair up at all times? Absolutely. When crossing the street, a lady could only lift her dress with one hand because lifting with two hands was just too scandalous and might show off too much ankle.
Photographs were another place where emotions were strictly off-limits. Smiling in photos was considered undignified, and people had to remain as serious as possible. So, if you’ve ever wondered why your great-great-grandparents looked like they just lost a bet in every old photograph, now you know! Fast forward to the 1960s, and while some rules relaxed, others remained oddly specific. Holding your drink in your right hand at a party? Absolutely not! Your right “social” hand had to stay free to shake hands and light cigarettes. And if you were a dinner guest, you had better prepare a toast — because nothing says party etiquette like being put on the spot for an impromptu speech. So, the next time you see someone laughing freely or using an umbrella without shame, take a moment to appreciate just how much times have changed!
MEDIATION VS. ARBITRATION
A MATTER OF METHOD
Because words always matter in law, I’d like to focus on two that are often critical to a case’s outcome but frequently confused. In my work handling personal injury cases, I often go through a process called mediation. Conducted mainly by the plaintiff and defendant voluntarily, it is a way for both parties to attempt to discuss their differences to arrive at a resolution — typically a settlement — as an alternative to a trial. A mediator presides over the session as a go- between, and it is their job to hear what each side has to say — for example, if either side demands money or makes a compensatory offer — and advise each side on how to make a deal. Mediators are entirely neutral with no bias toward either side of a dispute, putting them in a unique position to chart a path toward a fair conclusion. Mediators are typically well-known in their communities (and thus in high demand), and their selection is generally one element of a case that both sides agree upon. These days, virtually
all personal injury cases I handle go through a mediation process. If you’re a client, you can expect to go through one at some point during your case. From my experience, at least 80% of cases are resolved this way — without ever going to trial. Conversely, arbitration — a process in which one or more arbitrators are hired to hear evidence presented by both parties and then decide the winner — is traditionally less collaborative and more adversarial than mediation. For arbitration to occur, both parties must agree to specific criteria. For example, an agreement could stipulate that the arbitrator must come from a particular organization or that a panel of three arbitrators must be utilized. Please contact us if you would like more information on mediation and arbitration, or guidance on which option may be best suited for your case.
–Kevin Mottley
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