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www.kevintharpe.com (770) 503-1022 How My Open-Hearted Sisters-in-Law Inspire Me Kevin’s Peace of Mind B efore Missy and I had Callie, we spent a lot of time with our nieces and nephews, primarily
December 2020
because four very special women allowed us into their lives. I can’t think of four better, more admirable women to call my sisters-in-law than Jeannie, Wanda, Gina, and Katrina.
I’d like to share what makes each of them so special.
Jeannie Tharpe became my first sister- in-law in 1985. She is married to Kenny Tharpe, my oldest brother. A graduate of Auburn University, Jeannie’s worked for the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) for many years. While at the CDC, Jeannie worked with a variety of infectious diseases, but she became very focused and specialized when the pandemic rolled around. Highly intelligent,
Wanda Stidham
Jeannie is the type of woman to always offer support for her family; she’s never unavailable. For her kids, if there was any ball game, piano recital, or for any extended family event, like weddings, holidays and even when Callie got her black belt in karate, Jeannie would be there. For my parents, Jeannie stepped up to take care of our mother in ways that we couldn’t as sons. I am truly blessed to have Jeannie as a sister-in-law.
Wanda Stidham became my second sister-in-law in 1994. She is married to Jeff Stidham, my wife’s oldest brother. She is a graduate of Georgia Tech. She was a cheerleader in high school and still has that bubbly, peppy personality today. But don’t let that fool you: Wanda was raised alongside two brothers, so she is tough and can hold her own! Wanda is an amazing mother of four children (two boys and two girls), is a very organized person, and loves to plan. She’s always dreamed about owning her own business. She currently runs a gift basket and embroidery business, where she creates both custom baskets based on themes as well as uniforms for many area sports teams, including Berry College. Her Coca-Cola baskets are super popular, but I also love buying her Georgia-themed baskets for clients and referral sources, too.
and yet down-to-earth, Jeannie does amazing work in both her professional and personal life, as a wife, as a mother of Kaleigh and
Joel, and now as a grandmother of two spirited and growing boys, Jack and Aiden.
“I can’t think of four better, more admirable women to call my sisters-in-law than Jeannie, Wanda, Gina, and Katrina.”
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3 GIFT-GIVING TIPS That Won’t Kill Your Savings
Think beyond store-bought or expensive items.
Ah, the holidays. It’s a time of sweet treats, family, and giving back — and sometimes giving a little too much. When it comes to the perfect holiday gift, many people spend too much money. The average American spends nearly $1,000 on gifts during the December holidays alone! It’s possible to cut back and make it to January without major debt. Here’s how.
Sure, everyone wants this holiday season’s “it” item, but sometimes the best gifts don’t even come wrapped under the tree. Instead, look to your own talents as a clue to what you should give. If you’re a great crafter, create something unique for the people on your list. If you can offer the gift of time, provide a free night of babysitting for your friends with kids or an experience at the local theater. These gifts have a bonus factor: Recipients love the gift when they open it, and they love it when they get to use it!
Set a budget — and stick to it.
Setting a holiday budget ensures you only spend what you can afford. It also narrows down your search. If you choose to buy your neighbor something, but they aren’t your top priority, set their budget at a lower level, like $25–$50. If you have a sibling who has had a rough year and you’d like to make their holidays a little brighter, bump their budget up. This narrows the focus of what you’re looking for so you don’t stumble into something you can’t afford. Ultimately, it’s the spirit of giving during the holidays that makes them so rewarding. With a little ingenuity, you can be generous and avoid the stress of excess debt come January.
Check your list — twice!
The list is going to be your secret weapon to tackling the holidays with your savings still intact. Start by writing down the name of every person you’d like to get a gift for. Now, with the exception of your immediate family members, narrow the names down to your top five — top 10 if you’re really popular. Now, place the names of the people who didn’t make the cut into a second list. If you still feel the need to do something for them, send homemade cookies or a handwritten note instead of purchasing something. This limits how much you actually have to spend!
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spellings of common names. Additionally, the name must match the biological sex of the child: girls with feminine names and boys with masculine names. And another thing, traditional last names cannot be used as a first name. Many other countries have similar laws, including Germany. While the German laws are not as strict as Denmark’s, they state that the name must match the sex and that any name must not bring harm to the child. That is to say, if the child is likely to be bullied because of the name, it may be rejected.
No Running Out of Gas on the Autobahn
The “no gas” law is designed to minimize hazards and accidents on the road. It’s also illegal to stop on the side of the Autobahn, unless you’re experiencing an emergency or car trouble, such as an unforeseen issue with the engine. Running out of gas is considered a “foreseen” issue, thanks to fuel indicators.
Should you run out of gas and require assistance, you must
Speaking of Germany, home of the Autobahn, it’s illegal to run out of gas while driving on the superhighway. In fact, driving on the Autobahn comes with many restrictions. That’s the trade-off for accessing an efficient road system where some stretches lack a speed limit.
not leave your vehicle, because it’s also illegal to walk on the Autobahn. If you do need to pull over, you must do so in designated areas or leave the highway altogether.
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Wanda and my wife, Missy, grew up together. She has always been a part of every important event in our lives. She was in our wedding, and she was also one person Missy and I both wanted to be in the delivery room when Callie was born. I’m also grateful for the multiple times Wanda extended her many talents to help me when I wanted to plan something special for Missy. When I decided to surprise Missy by renewing our vows for our 10th anniversary (and reinviting nearly the whole guest list), Wanda helped with many parts of the event, and all I had to do is show up (much like the first wedding). I couldn’t have accomplished this without her, and it was one of Missy’s favorite surprise parties ever.
I am blessed that Wanda was and still is a part of it all.
Jeannie Tharpe (left), Gina Tharpe (middle), Missy Tharpe (right)
Gina Tharpe became my third sister-in- law in 2001. Gina is married to Jeff, my younger brother. She’s is an amazing wife and mom of three children (two boys and a girl). Gina is an incredibly strong person. She lost her first husband to a rare form of cancer several years before she met Jeff, and she raised two boys mostly on her own. To survive, Gina started a children’s clothing store in the middle of a small town in Georgia. Then, a few years after marrying Jeff, she went back to school and became a nurse. Today, Gina is a school nurse for an elementary/middle school near her home.
One aspect about Gina I admire is that while she is very hands-on and involved with her family (she’ll do anything to protect her family), but she’s not a helicopter mom. She loves her family in a beautifully simple way: “I love you enough not to deprive you of the opportunity of making mistakes.” Don’t get me wrong, she runs a tight ship! But her household is full of love and respect.
she is affectionately called by family) is married to Christopher Stidham. Kat is a UGA graduate and she currently lives in Birmingham with Chris and their three boys. Kat is a football mom, a swim mom, a drama mom, and even has time to also be a personal fitness trainer. Yet, with all that, she always makes herself available for not only her immediate family (which is a full-time job itself), but she also opens her home and her heart to her extended family, including Missy, Callie, and myself. Although Katrina works as a stay-at-home mom today, she met Christopher when they were both private investigators. When tobacco litigation was prevalent, their private investigation firm in New York kept them very busy. She’s definitely just as much of an amazing mom as she was an investigator!
Gina is truly a gift to me and my family.
Katrina Stidham became my fourth sister-in-law in 2002. Katrina (or “Kat” as
Having Katrina a part of our family has truly made it a better one.
My sisters-in-law have opened their hearts and homes to Missy and me. My nieces and nephews almost feel like our own kids, and that’s due to the generosity of my sisters-in- law with their time, love, and compassion. Having grown-up in a house full of boys, you four are definitely the best sisters I could ever hope to have as a part of my life.
-Kevin
Katrina Stidham
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TAKE A BREAK
BE A BETTER LISTENER FOR SOMEONE Who Needs to ‘Get It All Out’ It’s not always easy to share feelings of frustration, anger, sadness, or other strong emotions — but it’s healthy to share them. Sometimes, we need to vent and get it all out. Venting gives us an opportunity to release these emotions, which often leads to mental clarity. However, when someone comes to you to vent and share their heavy emotional burden, listening can be just as challenging as sharing. You want to be supportive, but you don’t want to interfere. Strong feelings and tough situations may be involved. What can you do to be the listener they really need? It starts with your body language. Open yourself to their emotional needs. Gregorio Billikopf, an interpersonal relationship expert at the University of California, Berkeley says if you begin the conversation standing, invite the person to have a seat with you. Another thing you can do as a listener is to position yourself below their eye line. This puts the person venting in a more active “storyteller” position and you in a better “listener” position. While in this position, maintain eye contact. It’s okay to look down or away occasionally, but try to keep steady eye contact. Billikopf also notes that, as a listener, it’s important to avoid interjecting. Don’t offer input, suggestions, or guidance to the person venting until after the person has had the chance to get it all out. “During this venting process, there is still too much pressure for a person to consider other perspectives,” Billikopf says. While you don’t want to interject, you do want to be an active listener. This means you don’t want to be completely silent. This is where “reflective listening” comes in. Occasionally repeat what the speaker says — but don’t use their exact phrasing. Reword slightly in a sympathetic manner. Don’t spin their words or mistakenly interject an opinion, as it may not be the opinion they’re interested in hearing. Alternatively, listening cues like “mm” or “hm” and nods are always welcome. One last thing to keep in mind: You do not need to offer a solution to the person’s problem or concerns. They may just be venting to get their negative emotions out, not looking for answers or explanations. If they are looking for answers or guidance, wait for them to ask. In the meantime, lend your ear and let them know you’re there for them going forward.
NOT YOUR GRANDMA’S FRUITCAKE
Inspired by SimplyRecipes.com
Ingredients
• 1 tsp baking soda • 1 cup sour cream • 3 1/2 cups mixed dried fruit of your choice, chopped • 1 cup nuts of your choice, chopped • 2 cups all-purpose flour, divided • 1 stick butter
• 1 cup sugar • 1 egg, room temperature • Zest of 1 orange • 1 tsp salt
Directions
1. Preheat oven to 325 F. Line a 9x5-inch loaf pan with greased baking paper. Ensure the piece running the length of the pan stands 1 inch above each side to form “handles.” 2. In a small bowl, mix baking soda and sour cream. 3. In a second bowl, combine fruit, nuts, and 1/4 cup flour. 4. In a third bowl, beat butter and sugar until fluffy. Add egg, zest, and sour cream mixture. Then, add remaining flour and salt. Mix, then add fruit mixture. 5. Pour batter into lined pan. Fill up a separate loaf pan halfway with water. Bake both pans in oven for 1 1/2–2 hours or until a skewer leaves the cake clean. 6. Use “handles” to remove cake from pan and cool completely on a rack before serving.
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(770) 503-1022 www.KevinTharpe.com 405 Broad St. Gainesville, GA 30501 INSIDE THIS ISSUE
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How My Open-Hearted Sisters-in-Law Inspire Me
3 Fool-Proof Ways to Pay for the Holidays Without Going Broke
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Not Your Grandma’s Fruitcake How to Be a Better Listener for Someone in Need
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Strange Laws Around the Globe
CURIOUS LAWS IN PRACTICE Around the World
No Chewing Gum in Singapore
Nearly every community around the world has strange laws: Some were established decades or centuries ago to address specific issues that came up once or twice; some were created with good intentions but have since become outdated; and there are some recently created ones that still serve practical purposes. Here are three such examples.
Company. You can get certain types of gum with a prescription, but if you are caught with more than two packs or are found littering, you may be handed a very steep fine.
Singapore has numerous laws aimed at keeping the city-state free of clutter, one of which is aimed squarely at chewing gum. As the government made infrastructure improvements in the 1980s and ‘90s, they wanted to curb vandalism and littering so they could keep this new area clean. The result was a crackdown on gum. They take it so seriously that they monitor gum products that pass through the city-state. If it’s en route to a neighboring country, it must be locked up until it’s through. In the past, anyone caught selling, possessing, or chewing gum could be fined up to $100,000.
No Unusual Names in Denmark
When you have a child in Denmark, don’t get too creative with their name. The government maintains a list of around 7,000 approved names, and around 200 names are rejected every year. However, if you choose a name that isn’t on the list, you might not receive an automatic denial. You can get special approval through your local church, then submit the name for approval from government officials. The law looks down on naming children after inanimate objects or alternative Continued on Page 2 ...
In recent years, the law has eased somewhat, thanks in part to gum lobbyists funded by the Wrigley
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