Artist Jemila MacEwan created this book as part of Seed Meditation, a 10-day endurance performance in Washington Square Park in New York City from April 12 to 21, 2024.
SEED MEDITATION
J EMILA M AC E WAN
SEED MEDITATION
Washington Square Park 2024
J EMILA M AC E WAN
This book is an extention of the performance Seed Meditation. Above all else, Seed Meditation is a work about divine love. I feel moved to make this work because I see very few people consciously apply a rigorous notion of love to their lives. There is much confusion about what love is and there is little in our present cultural expression that entreats us to contemplate, practice, and emphasize divine love as a guiding principle. I believe love is an alchemical process made available to us through our own strife, suffering, and redemption. Much like the way a pure white light can be broken into a spectrum of colors, I believe that divine love is made up of many components. Seed Meditation presented me with the opportunity to break apart and define ten of these components and their corresponding processes, though surely there are many more. I wrote this book drawing from my own experiences having succumbed to the pitfalls, the pleasures, and the lessons contained in each process of revelation. It is important to note that this work is being created at a time of relentless humanitarian crises. For many months, the world has been bearing witness to abhorrent violations of life, liberty, and freedom of the Palestinian people. The visceral horrors of this genocide, the total transparent abuse of power, and the absolute failure of justice have generated a deeply felt sense of disorder and conflict that has been replicating itself on micro and macroscopic plains. Everyday, I pray for release from perpetual and merciless violence. I pray to whom? My praying hands are empty. Pressed together they have only each other. Within all this suffering, I find myself wanting and needing to release everything. In all this holding, I find myself wanting and needing to hold more. I feel called to find a way to be in a multiplicity of states, to branch out in all directions and find peace in expressions of evolution and diversity of life. I feel called to be in protest, to be in grief, to be in service, to be in joy, to be in attention, to be in care, to be in vigil, to be in ritual, to be in meditation, to be together, to be here intentionally, to publicly unfold with sustained effort in reverent celebration of being alive and out of necessity for love and humanity. I am repeatedly called to be alive.
Jemila MacEwan
Introduction For Seed Meditation, I meditate everyday from sunrise to sunset, holding a seed in the palm of my hand, for the duration it takes to germinate. It is a ten day practice and each day is defined by a different theme, proposed as alchemical allegories for processes of spiritual maturation. I have written this book as a practical guide for anyone wishing to practice Seed Meditation themselves. It expands on the ten themes and the spiritual processes embodied therein. The book is enclosed in an envelope along with ten different bean seeds and a handmade seed germination dish so you can do this practice on your own. Seed Meditation is part of a creative practice I call ecomorphic meditations, wherein I observe the relationships, stories, and processes—the phenomenology and ontology—of the more-than-human world as a guide for inner and collective evolution. In Seed Meditation, I recognize myself as being both the germinating seed and the earth that supports life. Attention is devoted to the perseverance, patience, and gentleness inherent in the profound yet subtle transformation of germination. To expand my awareness of the germinating seed, I found it necessary to consider the many environmental elements that support the presence of life. Each element relates to the germinating seed at the center of Seed Meditation. The seed assumes the role of teacher, supporting and directing our own evolutionary unfolding. For each day of the meditation, I wear a different color representing an elemental theme. The colors and related images of the themes are Black/Space, Brown/ Earth, Blue/Water, Green/Germination, Pink/Blossom, Purple/Wound, Yellow/ Midday Sun, Orange/Setting Sun, Red/Rising Sun, and White/Light. I have described each thematic spiritual process as beginning with an internal emotional condition brought on by an encounter with the external world. The conditions described are fear, doubt, shame, control, desire, grief, ambition, anger, pride and illusion. These conditions stimulate us into experiences of pleasure and pain, which in turn generate a profound impulse for attachment. The presence of these attachments when we refuse to release them is often felt as an anxiety. Anxiety is an alert system that informs us we need to move on from one or more of these conditions. There are no shortcuts in the process of moving through— they all require effort, willingness, and attentiveness. We enable transformation of these conditions when we surrender and commit ourselves to corrective attitudes. We can’t choose our feelings, but we can choose our attitudes. In this book, the attitudes are the states of mind that guide us through the process of spiritual maturation. They hold us and support us to stay on the path. The attitudes have described in this book include courage, sincerity, trust, yielding, curiosity, playfulness, modesty, appreciation, gentleness, kindness, patience, generosity,
I have described in this book include courage, sincerity, trust, yielding, curiosity, playfulness, modesty, appreciation, gentleness, kindness, patience, generosity, mercy, acceptance, compassion, equanimity, humility, and innocence. In this book, each condition is presented as the beginning of a process of transformation or spiritual germination, which ultimately guides us toward knowing and becoming available to a facet of divine love. The facets of divine love I have described are growth, support, freedom, creativity, gratitude, healing, abundance, forgiveness, grace, and truth. Every emotional condition that comes our way needs to be felt to be known and needs to be acknowledged to be released. If we cling to these conditions and refuse to release them for reasons of pleasure or pain, they hinder our ability to live well. The consequences are that of compounded suffering for ourselves and others. Every person that lives a long life will experience each of the conditions I have described in this book. Oftentimes, we do not wish to be caught in these conditions and may not even realize we are gripping to them, thereby compounding suffering in all its many forms. It is easy to judge others when we see them under the influence of such conditions. The truth is, it is often very difficult to release and overcome these states of being, even when we have committed ourselves to the great effort involved. So we must not be embarrassed or ashamed for being subject to these attachments. They are necessary to life. Each condition should be treated as a welcome teacher and to face them is to experience and be vulnerable to the emotional spectrum of our humanity. Learning to recognize and release these powerful influences is as necessary as accepting and yielding to the transition of the seasons. Each condition narrows our scope of perception, preventing us from assessing the present moment with wide- open honesty and clarity. Each condition is released through a process of sincere cultivation of specific attitudes. The reward is that we make ourselves available to divine love tangible to all beings. I believe that every person is capable, if they choose, to access all facets of divine love and in doing so liberate themselves and others from all forms of oppression. Each of the ten spiritual processes I have described in this book align with an elemental process observable within the natural world. I have invoked colors and corresponding images from the natural world to demonstrate how the processes that support life in the Universe can be read as embodied allegories for the processes necessary to support the full growth of our spiritual lives. Both the physical processes that support life and the spiritual processes that govern our passage through life are necessary in the journey of becoming and experiencing wholeness. Clarity and balance in the external world will only come to order if the inner world has already done so.
Black Black is the element of Space
When we see black, we are perceiving the absence or total absorption of all light wavelengths on the color spectrum. In this way, black is both total absence and complete presence. The dark expanse of space is the origin from which we all come. Space is mostly cold, dark, and infinite, a great deal of it is unknowable to us. The blackness of space is the dimension in which planets and stars are in relation to one another. Space is also our entire Universe and the source and outcome of infinite potential. The image of space invites us to release the presence of fear. Fear shrinks us down into the smallest range of potential on an individual and collective level. To face fear is to face its attendants: terror, despair, and numbness. It will take courage to resist. To defer to fear is to kill possibility. To know fear is to know a facet of death. Imagine all the uncertainty that comprises your fears is contained within the very small, dark interior of a seed. You cannot see inside the seed and yet you trust that its core contains all necessary knowledge for it to germinate. Trust that the entire Universe, its knowledge, and the substance of life also rests within the core of yourself. Observe this in stillness and silence. From this place of trustful knowing, find the courage to expand open and in doing so become available to divine love in the form of growth. Release: Fear Attitude: Courage Love as Growth
Brown Brown is the element of soil
Soil is the fertile ground which supports all life on land. It is the substrate in which decay, renewal, and rebirth happen. These processes may appear chaotic, formless, and even repulsive at times, but it is the fundament that supports our living planet. Soil is rich with potential but gently ambiguous in nature. The color brown contains traces of all colors that have become indistinguishable from one another. The image of earth invites us to release the presence of doubt. Doubt serves only as a temporary state of pause, allowing us to reflect and proceed with caution and awareness. Doubt is a state of inaction and indecision and if we do not proceed, doubt creates anxious stagnation and prevents the roots of knowledge and selfhood from taking hold. It is important to remember that if we grip to that which no longer serves us instead returning it to the soil, it putrifies and makes us ill. If you find yourself in a state of doubt, relax. Imagine your body settling into warm soil. Feel its soft support and imagine roots growing from the base of your spine into the soil and branching out in all directions. With an attitude of sincere trust, gently feel through your expansive roots and draw inwards the nutrients and knowledge. In this state of calm rootedness, divine love in the form of support becomes available.
Release: Doubt Attitude: Trust Love as Support
Blue Blue is the element of water
It is said that water always finds a way. Water is the foundational element for life. It is infinitely mutable, taking the form of vapor, liquid and solid. It can be divided into infinitely smaller parts and instantaneously coalesce back into a greater whole. Water is governed by the moon; the ocean breathes with the push and pull of the moon’s orbit. Water submits to its influential forces and in doing so reinforces the flow of energies. If we track the path of a river, we notice that life always follows water. The image of water invites us to surrender control. When we try to control people, environments, or outcomes to serve our own wishes or anxieties, we cultivate a state of inner conflict with the outer world. If we try to force the world to our will, we only exhaust ourselves with futile acts of aggression and ultimately stifle the natural flow of energies. Blue is also the image of wind. A bird that flies against the wind remains stuck in one place, but if the bird simply relaxes they benefit from being effortlessly carried on existing currents. In stillness, attend to the breath. Observe the constant steady motion of inhale and exhale. The breath brings our attention to the inner and outer landscapes. In this state, relax the mind and body into observing the flow of energies in your environment. Yield to the necessary flow of energies and you will find yourself buoyed by the conditions of your surroundings where divine love in the form of freedom becomes available.
Release: Control Attitude: Yielding Love as Freedom
Green Green is the image of life
Plants are beings created of and for the light. They absorb every lightwave except the color of their leaves. The genius of plants is their infinitely creative and diverse expressions of being. They are interrelational beings, part of an ongoing collective lineage whose persistence depends on curious interconnectivity of forms and ways of being. To spend time observing the absurd, beautiful, disturbing, mysterious, and brilliant expressions of life on earth is to be in awe of the embodiment of creative imagination. Plants teach us that creativity is the substance of life and requires reciprocity and vulnerability. The image of life invites us to release shame. While shame can be a helpful indicator when we behave in a manner that causes harm to another, its discomfort can initiate a correction of attitude or behavior. When we continue to carry shame or attribute shame to others for simply being the way they are, we inhibit the possibility of mutual acceptance and appreciation. Examine the nature of the shame you carry: if the shame is attributed to something beyond your control then it is not your shame to carry. Breath and relax your body. Remember how your body and mind felt as a child, then invite yourself into playful dreaming. Curiosity will naturally dissolve the cruel grip of shame and you will find you are available to divine love in the form of creativity. Release: Shame Attitude: Curious play Love as Creativity
Pink Pink is the image of a blossom
The beauty of the blossoms that emerge in spring lighten the heart after the difficulty of winter. The blossoms attract pollinators who gain nourishment from its sweet nectar and pollen. The gentle bliss of spring is a temporary pleasure that ripens into the fruit of summer. The image of the blossom invites us to release our possessive desires and addictive attractions. When desire moves us, it can be a profound motivational source for creative action. However, the spell of desire’s perfume can trap us in a state of obsessiveness, immaturity, and powerlessness. Our scope of enjoyment is narrowed to a singular source and we lose power to find pleasure in other things. What was once euphoric ferments into a poison of jealousy. In this compromised state, we are weakened and susceptible to humiliation. Imagine yourself among a grove of cherry blossoms. Surrender your heart to the beauty that surrounds you. Observe how long it takes for a petal to fall to the ground. Appreciate how joyous and uplifted those around you are, and allow the moment to exist as an ephemeral state of contentment. This way, we make ourselves available to the abundant wealth of divine love in the form of contentment and gratitude. Release: Possessive Desires Attitude: Appreciation Love as Contentment and Gratitude
Purple Purple is the image of the wound in the form of a bruise
A bruise occurs when a painful force is inflicted upon the body causing small blood vessels to break and leak into the soft tissue beneath the skin. The bruise turns black, purple, pink, red, yellow, and blue during the healing process and continues to hurt until it is healed. The image of purple invites us to release the presence of grief. Anyone who lives a full life will experience grief at some point. If we have loved widely and deeply then grief will surely visit innumerable times, brought on by loss, sorrow, hurt, and heartbreak. Grief is one of the most complex conditions of being and requires us to feel a great range of painful and disorienting emotions. In stillness and with gentle breath, bring your awareness to your heart. Patiently give it space to expand and surrender to any pain you find within. With kindness, hold all the colors of grief that emerge. Take as long as it needs and handle each emotion with great care, as though handling a small seed. By surrendering to the forces of time and the creative and adopting an attitude of gentle patience, within and without we make ourselves available to divine love in the form of healing. Release: Grief Attitude: Gentleness, Kindness, and Patience Love as Healing
Yellow Yellow is the image of the high midday sun
The midday sun holds the highest position in our lived world. There is no source of power greater than the sun at its zenith. The sun holds in orbit all planets within our solar system with its immense gravitational force. It radiates heat and light in all directions simultaneously. The sun is continually offering its power and energy and sustains the intricate network of life on earth. All sources of energy we use to sustain our lives ultimately originates from the sun or other stars in one way or another. The image of the sun invites us to release our attachment to individual ambition. When we prioritize our own personal gains and attempt to hold position over others, we may appear to be gaining power but the opposite is happening. By holding such a narrow view of prosperity, we limit our potential for impact and our definition of success. In Buddhism, this condition is described as the hungry ghost—a state in which we constantly hunger but are never sated, no matter how much we are given. Imagine yourself in a high position in the sky. Light and warmth is radiating upon all that you see. The influence of this energy is abundant and you witness it nurturing diverse creative expression everywhere you look. In this vision of collective realization, you have become akin to the midday sun, your modesty and generosity exuding limitless influence. When we see success as a collective endeavor, we are continually surrounded by divine love in the form of abundance. Release: Selfish ambition Attitudes: Modesty and Generosity Love as Abundance
Orange Orange is the image of the setting sun
The luminous orange of the setting sun commands our attention with its brilliance before falling below the horizon and leaving us in darkness. The beauty of the setting sun has the power to interrupt our actions and thoughts, causing us to pause and give honor with our full attention. It is a spirited fire of calm intensity that uplifts, relaxes, and opens our sight to the horizon. The image of the setting sun appeals to us to release our attachment to anger. Anger is a fierce and passionate fire that instantly connects us to our values, our sense of justice, and to that which we love and hold true. It is a vibrant burst of energy that spurs us to action, just as some seeds can only be cracked open by fire. But anger can be an unwieldy flame if we do not cautiously hold it in balance with care and mercy. When anger is not appropriately felt, acknowledged, and finally released through redemptive forgiveness, it turns inward and takes the form of self-righteous judgment. From judgment comes resentment and contempt, and when we permit contempt, cruelty is not far behind. If we let wrathful judgment be the leader of justice, we ultimately create a harsh, unforgiving world that propagates conflict, war, and harm. Evil manifests when we only seek the wrong in this world. Anger is caused by pain. The root of this pain is often combinations of hurt, guilt, shame, disgust, or grief, along with a sense of injustice for ourselves or that which we care deeply about. While reacting to our felt pain, we cannot make clear and fair judgments. Be vigilant to not overly identify with the role of the victim. Seeking revenge and wishing suffering upon those who have angered us will only result in a doubling of pain in the world. It does not relieve us of our own suffering and puts us in the role of perpetrator. Before we can release anger, we must give attention to healing the wound itself, allowing our feelings of hurt, guilt, shame, disgust, or grief to be felt without attaching judgment. To move through anger, calmly bring awareness to the source of this emotion. Feel your chest radiate with the compassionate glow of the setting sun. The sun will set for each of us, and the brightness of our ending will depend upon many things, including how honorably we lived our lives, how mercifully we met our suffering and the suffering of others, and how expansively we applied our notion of justice. It is with this long view of our short life that the image of the sunset entreats us to release wrathful anger. With a merciful and generous heart, allow yourself to become available to divine love in the form of forgiveness.
Release: Anger Attitude: Mercy
Red Red is the image of the rising sun
The sun gracefully rises, returning its warm light after the dark night. It is a new dawn. The image of the rising sun cautions us to release pridefulness. It is well-founded to feel a sense of pride when we accomplish something through great effort, but we must be wary to remain independent from this emotion and avoid ongoing attachment. If we overly identify with pride, we become arrogant and boastful, believing ourselves as superior and expect adoration and praise at all times. When we become dependent on the approval of others, it weakens us, feeding our insecurities—praise is, after all, the other side of blame. In this state, we may become incapacitated by a self-imposed perfectionism where we hold ourselves to a rigid standard of correctness, without permission to recognize our own mistakes and disabling maturity and development. We build a distorted view of reality in which we imagine ourselves as an infallible authority, lashing out against those who appear to challenge this self-projection. From here, guilt takes hold. Without the ability to hold ourselves accountable and thereby seek redemption, guilt accumulates like a toxin in the body. The condition of unquestioning pridefulness is very fragile, and if we continue to grasp this condition, we invite a form of paranoia that ultimately leaves us isolated. Recognize that any achievement is collective. Pause to appreciate the way that success is an accumulation of the gifts bestowed on us by the communities and energies that support us. Observe the germinating seed and recognize yourself within. Consider how your mutual flourishing rests upon the wisdom of the Universe which inevitably flows through all of creation. Bring to mind the image of the rising sun and relax. With patience, powerful energies will come to your aid. Greet your successes with an attitude of humility and you will experience divine love in the form of grace. Release: Pride Attitude: Humility Love as Grace
White White is the image of pure white light
When we see white, we perceive it as the absence of color. Yet white presents us with all the colors combined in the light spectrum. Like the color black, white presents us with both complete presence and complete absence. The practice of letting go of illusions is the process of bringing one’s awareness to what is real. It can also be understood as letting go of attachment to limiting beliefs and projections. The image is the bright, unfiltered white light of truth. When we hold onto limiting beliefs about ourselves, others, or the world, we eclipse our ability to see and be seen within the light of truth. The light of truth, like unfiltered light, presents a paradox for us: to behold absolute truth is to be blinded by all that we cannot see, just as to see unfiltered white light is to be blinded to the full spectrum of colors contained within. We must trust that contained within the blinding light is all knowledge and truth and that we are seeing only a facet of a greater whole. To remember that we are always in some way naive to the truth is to maintain an attitude of innocence that allows us to be receptive to experiences and people in whatever form they emerge. In this way, we become receptive to the lessons of reality. To release illusion, lie on your back with your body stretched out to the sky. The sky is an abyss of love in its raw form. Inhale and expand your heart to all edges of your body. Feel every emotion that arises. Exhale and dilate your vision to receive the whole sky. If there is resistance, soften your body. Inhale, expanding to your limits. Unflinch from truth, surrender to the light and it will extend you. Exhale and allow your edges to dissipate. You are enveloped in the pure bright love of the universe. Truth in the form of divine love is the reward for complete surrender. Release: Illusion Attitude: Innocence Love as Truth
This is a limited edition of the Seed Meditation book. Receiving this book certifies that you were an official support participant or played an integral role in supporting the 2024 performance of Seed Meditation in Washington Square Park, New York. I am immensely grateful and humbled that you offered your time and energy to supporting me in this work. I could not have done this without you. I would love to hear about your experience of Seed Meditation and how this work has impacted you. Please stay in touch if you continue to perform this practice on your own or share it with others.
Thank you,
Jemila MacEwan
Edition:
Page 1 Page 2 Page 3 Page 4 Page 5 Page 6 Page 7 Page 8 Page 9 Page 10 Page 11 Page 12 Page 13 Page 14 Page 15 Page 16 Page 17 Page 18 Page 19 Page 20 Page 21 Page 22 Page 23 Page 24 Page 25 Page 26 Page 27 Page 28 Page 29 Page 30Made with FlippingBook Digital Publishing Software