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MARCH 2025
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The Power of Perspective Why Optimism Is Your Secret Weapon for Overcoming Challenges
every problem presents an opportunity for growth, and we always have options available. These options may not be great or super attractive to you, but there are always options available. I’ve experienced it myself at the firm when a standout employee has left for another position or some other circumstance. You immediately wonder what you will do without that person, but if you step back, you can see room to grow, learn from any shortcomings, and realize that an opportunity presented itself for someone better to come along and join the team. I always choose optimism, even when I feel frustrated or down. This doesn’t mean I never pout internally about things or feel sorry for myself at times, but I never let it last much longer than a day or so, and I always find a way to snap out of it. Nobody wants to be around a Debbie Downer. Pity parties aren’t a healthy way to live and keep you from getting things done. Even the most challenging situations I see clients face, like the death of a loved one or a divorce, have a positive thread in there somewhere. In the context of a probate estate administration, the lesson could be about how much we need to value our time with loved ones or be more proactive about our own health because we only get to be on this planet for a short time. A divorce may present an opportunity to find a partner who truly values you; it’s a chance for a fresh start and meeting new people who may change your life. Optimism isn’t about ignoring life’s challenges or not learning from your mistakes. Optimism is about making a conscious choice and effort to see the opportunities arising out of life’s challenges or our mistakes. No matter what comes your way, you can conquer any problem or challenge with the right mindset.
I consider myself an optimist, though that’s challenged on a weekly, if not daily basis, when you’re a lawyer. The practice of law causes many lawyers to grow jaded and pessimistic over time. You often feel optimistic about your client’s case, but pessimistic about potential outcomes decided by judges and juries (or the very nature of the work) at the same time. Mindset matters in everything we do, but maintaining a positive lens through which you view any situation can transform you for the better. March is Optimism Month, and it’s a great reminder of what we can achieve if we take true ownership of our outlook of our circumstances and life in general. Helen Keller once said, “Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement; nothing can be done without hope.” Her words couldn’t be truer. How many times have you gone into a situation expecting the worst, and like an awful self-fulfilling prophecy, that’s exactly what you found? While I’m not saying we should run around like everything is sunshine and rainbows, if you expect things to be terrible, they likely will be. To be clear, it’s not pessimistic to go into a challenging situation hoping for the best, but preparing and willing to deal with the worst. That’s realistic, but never underestimate the power of the law of attraction. I came to realize the importance of a solid mindset in my late 20s, a relatively young age, as far as life experience goes. I understood that bad things will happen in life, and there will always be adversity to overcome. But no
matter what happens, you can usually recover from it. You can lose and replace property, experience something terrible, and triumph despite it. You haven’t been through anything that someone else in the history of the world hasn’t already faced and conquered. I distinctly remember my mom telling me, “If it’s something money can solve, don’t worry about it.” It’s not like I grew up wealthy or my family had significant discretionary income; my mom just meant that I’d be fine when dealing with something like a wrecked car or some other loss of property. There are far more significant concerns out there, like a terminal illness, that money can’t always solve, but even then, finding optimism and focusing on what you have can make a big difference. Look to inspirational stories of people who have overcome tremendous obstacles, and you might start to view your own pessimism differently. For me at least, I always get a feeling of, “What am I whining about when there are all these other problems going on in the world, and I have blessings others don’t?” At least half of our population will always be upset at the current presidential administration and some may disagree with this statement, but in my opinion, we are all blessed to live in a country in which we have civil liberties and freedoms that many in other countries simply do not have. The other thing that changed my mindset was the concept that no problem lacks an opportunity. No matter the circumstances,
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Raise Confident Kids 4 Tips Every Parent Should Follow
EXPRESS CONFIDENCE IN THEIR ABILITY TO ACHIEVE SUCCESS. Let your child know you’re not only proud of them but also that you know they can achieve their goals. This praise sets the stage for your child to share future goals — for example, making the basketball or cheerleading team. AVOID FORESHADOWING PRAISE WITH NEGATIVITY. This may be difficult for some parents, especially if they’ve had repeated obedience issues. If you’re proud of your child’s game-winning catch, avoid prefacing the statement with “Even though you didn’t cut the grass as I asked …” This can be considered the equivalent of a backhanded compliment, and no one responds well to those.
Praising your child has always been a “tricky” area of parenting. You want to raise your child to be a confident human being while also embodying what it means to be humble and appreciative. So, how do you stay within the bounds of instilling self-assurance without going overboard? While every child is different, several parenting approaches allow you to praise your child’s efforts without enabling arrogance. RECOGNIZE YOUR CHILD’S EFFORT IN ADDITION TO THEIR ACCOMPLISHMENT. As parents, it’s easy to praise your child’s accomplishments without acknowledging all their hard work to achieve them. Suppose your child won first place in their school’s spelling bee. Instead of praising them for being the best, acknowledge how all their studying paid off.
ALIGN THE LEVEL OF PRAISE WITH THE ACCOMPLISHMENT. In other words, don’t overdo it. Parents are their children’s biggest cheerleaders, so it can be challenging to tame your emotions when they win or overcome a fear. This is, of course, at your discretion, but it’s something to be mindful of. Does winning the season’s first game warrant a big backyard party with all the bells and whistles? Everyone’s parenting styles differ, but instilling values such as believing in oneself, empathy, gratitude, and determination are qualities any parent can nurture in their children for the betterment of themselves and those around them.
Pop Culture Icons, Real-Life Lessons What Celebrities Can Teach Us About Estate Planning
Celebrities often seem to live perfect lives that aren’t subject to the same experiences most of us adults face. But even pop culture icons and superstars have their own challenges when it comes to estate planning. From unexpected deaths to well-publicized family feuds, the lives of the rich and famous offer valuable lessons on why having a solid estate plan is so crucial for everyone, regardless of your star power. PRINCE When His Royal Badness, Prince, passed away unexpectedly at age 57, he left behind no clear directives on how his approximately $200 million estate — including the rights to his music — would be divided. Since his wishes were unknown, a long and costly legal battle between his family members began. The siblings fought over significant decisions like what should happen with his unreleased music. Ultimately, a judge split the inheritance among
left the children to divide it themselves. Sadly, the brothers could not agree and took their battle to court. Hepburn could have prevented the long court feud and confusion if she had itemized her assets and specifically stated which items would go to whom. PAUL WALKER Though “Fast and Furious” star Paul Walker tragically lost his life at the young age of 40, early estate planning spared his family from a lot of struggles. A few years after his daughter was born, he laid out simple instructions in his will. He wanted his entire $25 million estate to go into a trust for his daughter and designated his mother as her guardian should anything happen to him. Thanks to starting his estate plan early, updating it when a significant life change occurred, and establishing a guardian for his child, Walker’s family navigated this tragedy with far fewer complications.
his living heirs and gave the management rights of Prince’s music to a professional music company. It’s an essential reminder of why an estate plan can prevent future misunderstandings and lengthy legal battles. AUDREY HEPBURN Hollywood star Audrey Hepburn left behind a storage locker for her two sons containing her film rights and valuable movie memorabilia from her career. In her will, she specified the locker’s contents should be split between them, but she
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After a divorce or the death of a spouse, a second marriage can be an exciting fresh start, but it’s also an important signal that it’s time to revisit your estate plan. Second marriages can cause a few complications in the planning process, especially if one or both spouses have children from previous relationships. In order to protect yourselves and provide for your new blended family, it’s crucial to update your plan and ensure all the proper provisions are in place. From reviewing your beneficiary designations to providing for additional heirs, here are some of the main things to focus on after the wedding bells ring. REVIEW YOUR BENEFICIARIES One of the first things you’ll likely update in your plan is listing your new spouse as your primary beneficiary. This is a crucial step to ensure your partner will inherit those assets if something happens to you. However, you must also change beneficiaries listed elsewhere, like retirement or investment accounts. If you still have your ex listed on one of these accounts and die before changing the beneficiary designation, they will automatically inherit the funds instead of your new partner. It’s fairly simple to make these changes, and these changes will protect your family. THINK OF THE KIDS If there are children in the mix from previous relationships, it’s crucial to work together to determine what’s in their best interests for the future. There could be disagreements over how you and your new spouse want assets divided among them or how to manage the estate on their behalf if one spouse passes away. You will likely need to update your estate plan and perhaps even establish separate trusts so your spouse and children receive the inheritances you wish. Consider their ages and needs as you determine how assets will be distributed and divided amongst them. CONSIDER A PRENUP Prenuptial agreements can be helpful in a second marriage, especially if one partner has significant assets or has large debts. A prenup can set forth what happens to your property in the event of divorce, but it also can waive certain statutory protections afforded to a surviving spouse if you and your new spouse deem it appropriate. When Wedding Bells Ring Again Estate Planning Essentials for Second Marriages
Inspired by TheKitchn.com
Homemade Shamrock Shakes
No need to make a McDonald’s run for this refreshingly minty treat. Make your own St. Patrick’s Day Shamrock Shakes at home (They’re even better than Mickey D’s!)
Ingredients Milkshake • 1 pint vanilla ice cream •
Toppings •
Whipped cream
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Green sprinkles
2/3 cup whole milk
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2 maraschino cherries
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1/2 tsp peppermint extract 8 drops liquid or 4 drops gel green food coloring
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Directions 1. Put 2 tall drinking glasses into the freezer to chill. 2. Allow ice cream to slightly soften for 10–15 minutes. 3. In a blender, add milk, peppermint extract, green food coloring, and softened vanilla ice cream. 4. Blend on lowest setting and work up to medium speed for 1 minute or until smooth and pourable. 5. Pour evenly into frosted glasses, and top with garnish of your choice. Serve immediately. INSPIRATION “Where flowers bloom, so does hope.” —Lady Bird Johnson
If you are ready to revisit your estate plan after a second marriage, contact Douglass & Runger today.
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2865 Summer Oaks Drive Bartlett, TN 38134 901-388-5805 DouglassRunger.com
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INSIDE THIS ISSUE
1 Turning Obstacles Into Opportunities 2 Build a Positive Self-Image in Your Kids
Why Even the Rich and Famous Need a Plan
3 How to Update Your Estate Plan After Remarrying
Homemade Shamrock Shakes
4 A Chef’s Truest Triumph
For culinary creators worldwide, earning a Michelin star is like winning an Olympic gold medal. Chefs with excellent kitchen skills and outstanding customer service receive the honor. Late French chef Joël Robuchon holds the world record with 31, while TV star Gordon Ramsay rose to international fame and marked his hot-tempered journey to TV stardom by achieving 17 stars for his many restaurants. But how did this legendary distinction in the cooking world begin? If you’ve ever had the pleasure of dining at a Michelin-honored establishment, you have the automotive industry to thank. As its name implies, the star system was the brainchild of the Michelin tire company. To help inspire consumers to drive more — and increase the demand for tire purchases — it began publishing “The Michelin Guide” in France in 1900. The publication included maps, tips on tire care, and recommendations for hotels and restaurants along popular French travel routes. As the guide grew in popularity, the company expanded its content to include anonymous restaurant reviews. In 1926, it introduced “the Michelin star” to recognize the eateries it Michelin Magic The Mark of Culinary Mastery
considered the best in the country. Today, the bestselling publication reviews more than 40,000 restaurants across three continents. Only 146 restaurants worldwide — or less than 1% of those rated by the guide — have received three Michelin stars. In Ramsay’s mind, receiving that rare level remains the ultimate benchmark in his profession. As he stated in a 2024 article in Parade, “As a soccer player, I wanted an FA Cup winner’s medal. As an actor, you want an Oscar. As a chef, it’s three Michelin stars; there’s no greater than that.”
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