“I met with a psychiatrist. I have issues! But, he understood them. He was able to describe what I have been feeling so darned well that I feel relieved just knowing someone understands.” — Anonymous
COPING WITH YOUR FEELINGS Recognize that your feelings exist and that feeling them is normal. It may help to know that other caregivers have felt the same way you do. You may relate to all of the feelings listed below, or just a few. Give yourself time to understand and work through your range of emotions. Grief — You may experience grief for losing your loved one’s health or the life you had before the melanoma diagnosis. Give yourself permission to grieve those losses and take time to work through and accept the changes in your life. Loneliness — You may feel alone in your role as a caregiver, even if you are surrounded by people. You may feel like no one understands you and that you are in this alone. Support groups may help you connect with others in a similar situation. Anger — It is common to feel angry, whether it is aimed at yourself, your family or your loved one. However, anger can be healthy if you handle it the right way. It may help motivate you, but if the feelings persist, speak with a health professional.
Anxiety/Depression — Are you having a difficult time relaxing or are you having panic attacks? Are you worried about insurance, medical bills or how this is affecting the family? If you experience persistent sadness or depression that lasts more than a couple of weeks, speak with your healthcare provider. Guilt — Feeling guilty is a common reaction for caregivers. You may feel guilty that you are healthy, that you aren’t helping enough or even for not acting cheerful enough. Hopelessness — Throughout your loved one’s treatment, you may feel different levels of hope. You may hope for a cure, for peace, for comfort or even for acceptance. But if you develop feelings of hopelessness and they don’t pass, speak with your healthcare provider.
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