Girl on Fire Magazine - March 2024 Issue


Grow Like a Mother - Creating Safe Space

Hey there, mamas! Are you in a tough season where it feels like life is throwing everything at you, leaving you spinning and struggling to catch your breath? I know I've felt the pain of a never-ending to-do list and the frustration of feeling constantly behind. I know what it’s like to ignore the laundry piling up, the marriage, and the self-care because you simply can’t take on one more thing today. Several years ago, I was raising two kids under 3, one with special needs, struggling with post-partum depression and anxiety, and trying to run a retail brick- and-mortar store during the pandemic. Managing the everyday demands of my family and business exhausted my emotional energy, leaving little time to connect with myself truly, my goals, my dreams, and my desires. Knowing that I couldn't change the external circumstances, I set out to change my internal landscape, diving deep into personal development, productivity, and time management to help me manage the chaos. During that time, I started to notice the importance of creating a safe, zen environment for myself to decompress and for my children to decompress as well. In the hustle and bustle of life, finding the time to fill your own cup and dive deep into your soul can be hard to find, but it's so incredibly worth it. Try out the following tips and strategies to fill up your cup and create a nurturing environment for yourself and your family. Leading with Love: Mama, you're the heartbeat of your home. It's okay to put yourself first sometimes, to recharge and rejuvenate. When you prioritize your well-being, you're not just filling up your cup, but you're also showing your little ones the importance of self-love and care. When you model a deep, compassionate self-relationship for your children, they grow up to not only become productive members of society but regulated, happy members of society as well.

Remember Who You Are: Before you were a parent-- Who were you? The key is to remember who you are outside of your role as a parent. For you to show up as the parent you want to be, you first need to be the version of YOU that you want to be. You need to set aside time and space to be able to reconnect with yourself, see what energizes and ignites you, and understand what triggers and drains you. In the digital age, we tend to pick up our phones to scroll or zone out in front of the TV when we have some time to ourselves. We call that “self-care” but what we need to do is take an honest look and ask ourselves if that truly is adding value, energy, or passion to our lives. Or are we numbing? Is it an intentional time to decompress, or is it simply a habit we have fallen into? I recommend that my clients make a list of things that “fill their cup” and keep it handy so that when they do find themselves with an hour at the end of the night, they have some options to choose from. Maybe it truly is watching another re-run of Friends that lights them up. But perhaps they will instead get inspired to call a friend, read a book, have a bath, or reconnect with their spouse. When we give ourselves options, we can be intentional about our choices and therefore create the life we want.

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